I'm just going through a divorce and although it has been quite amacable and friendly I feel that i'm being taken advantage of.The thing is I have and will always continue to pay maintainance/Child support.My eldest daughter (14yrs) is a bit of the rails you might say and has been excluded from school for fighting,she hadbeen abusive and extremely aggressive toward me and my ex,so she came to live with me...during which i continued to pay half what i would normally pay to my ex for my other daughter.My ex though did not pay me for having my eldest live with me!Anyway long story short my eldest has now after 6 months with me become an absolute angel and today moved back in with her mother I feel a bit used and betrayed,like thats all i'm good for.My ex does not encourage my youngest daughter to come see me and i'm afraid this will soon become the case with my eldest!I offer to take them to the zoo,cinema,bowling!Should I stop paying till the ex supports me and encourages them 2 see me?
2006-10-31 12:20:42 · 10 answers · asked by Cyruss 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No if your ordered to pay child support you can not just stop for whatever reason. Child support and child visitation are two completely separate issues. I am sorry that this is going on you sound like a very nice man and a very good dad to your kids...please do not whatever you do give up on the kids encourage them to come and visit with you frequently call them do whatever you can to see them they need you and I'm sure you need them in your life also.
2006-10-31 12:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by sammy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a court order to pay child support? If you don;t you need to get one because all that money will mean nothing to the government and will make you look like a deadbeat when you weren't. If you have an orde, by all means DO NOT stop paying.
Your daughters are growing up. they are old enough to make thier own decisions, the oldest surely, the youngest will be there in a few years. it is not your exes responsibility to encourage them to see you, it is your responsibility to maintain contact with them. Set up weekly visits, planned activities.
You may feel used, but what is best for your daughters is the key. You should be happy you had that 6 months and happy that your daughter respects you enough to behave well with you. It's important she know you are there when she needs you and it seems she knows that.
Good luck
2006-10-31 12:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by BlondeBarbie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sir, those are the fruits of divorce. You can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel sorry for you, I can see how you love your kids and you wnat the best for them, you want to be there for them, but Sir, some battles are better not fought. For the sake of these young people, perhaps ...just perhaps, you both could have worked things out?
Innocent children are being left out in the cold no father no mother, and what happens when they grow up? they too divorce..ouch!
Sir, I am with you and I wish there was an easy solution to your problem the easiest one I can think of right is for both fo you to consider the fate of your children and get back together...I'll be thinking of you sir and good luck!
2006-10-31 12:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Paying your child support/maintenance does not make you soft, it makes you responsible and not a deadbeat! Kids change frequently at this age, they'll be angels today and sheer terrors tomorrow. You're the adult and the parent. You have to be consistent, both in your support and your love for them. There may be times that they don't appear to want either, but after they grow up (emotionally and intellectually) they'll realize that you were a good father, that you always loved and supported them, and they'll thank you for that. It won't always be easy for you, but no one said being a parent was easy...
2006-10-31 12:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by ricktheirish1967 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, don't stop paying, because she'll use that against you. My mother did that, always telling us, your dad cut the child support, your dad didn't pay this month...that just gives her more fuel. Not to mention, that if its in the divorce papers for you to pay, she can make you pay. If you have visitation rights, you should enforce them, if she is not letting you see your children, get in touch with a lawyer. If she is trying to turn them against you, my advice is to see your children, love them, but never, ever bad mouth your ex in front of them...it's bad for the children. Just love them, and be there for them!
2006-10-31 12:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Gaia Weeps 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
not only should you pay support but go visit with your daughters at your ex,s house,if she doesn't like it there is nothing she can do as long as you are paying that support,good luck.
2006-10-31 12:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by deerwoman777 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no you should keep paying, but see if you can get a court order to see your daughters. If you don't pay you could end up in jail as a dead beat dad.
2006-10-31 12:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by James H 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And I thought this question was going to be about erectile dysfunction. Yes, you should stop paying the ex.
2006-10-31 12:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
don't stop if it is court ordered. you said you are friendly with your ex try talking to her and tell her you want to see your kids more. talk to a lawyer about your situation.
2006-10-31 12:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
step 1: put your tongue to the roof of your mouth
step 2: start to resonate your vocal cords
step3: release your tongue and make an oval with your lips.
now repeat after me...... just say.......No
2006-10-31 12:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋