how did you tell your religious parent(s) that you are agnostic or atheist?

Question

it seems that religion is becoming a larger topic of conversation everyday in my household. i try to avoid it as much as possible, but now my mom is telling me that i need to get baptised. i'm also pretty disheartend to listen to my otherwise completely rational and ferociously intelligent mother abandon all reason to find purpose behind uncontrollable events. i guess if it helps her stay sane then she can believe whatever she wants, she deserves at least that much and i love her. i just don't know what she hopes to accomplish by getting me baptised. i'm sorry, but i don't see how some magic water is going to "purify my soul" or whatever it's supposed to do.
another problem i have to deal with is my grandmother for she is a deeply pious woman and i don't think i can handle letting her down like that. i guess i just won't tell her.
so my question to you is: how did you telly your parents and how should i go about doing it?

Answer 1

Don't tell them, they probably know already from your actions/attitudes, which is why they are wanting you to get baptized. Believe me, you usually DO become more wise with age!!!!! They KNOW what they're talking about!!!! But, most younger people don't acknowledge this until they are much older, but I hope it won't be too late when YOU realize the truth...

Answer 2

I just told my mom and everyone is that I'm not trying to disprove it as a matter of fact I'm trying to prove that "love never fails". The only scripture I believe is real is "God is love and love is God". All the other stuff seems contrived by man. At this point I don't think there's enough proof either way. We just have to wait this one out. She couldn't produce a thread of evidence more than what we've already heard. Which makes me think, she probably feels the same but won't admit it. Her father was baptized 4 times before "it worked". Me I've been baptized 3 times, maybe they should have held me under until I stopped breathing.

Answer 3

Well, personally, I never had to, but I hope my advice is helpful anyway.

Wait for an appropriate time to tell them. Don't do it on a holiday or a Sunday or something like that.

Tell them calmy, sincerely, and without insulting them. Keep it simple.

Depending on how they react, just stay calm. Don't be the bad guy or the control freak.

Personally, I hope that if you don't want to, then you don't get baptised. Especially at your age, I guess if you are old enough to use a computer and Answers then you are probably old enough to decide your religion.

Answer 4

I wish I knew how to answer this as I haven't told my family, either. I'd very much like to let them know where I stand and get them to understand that just because my beliefs have changed, doesn't mean that I personally have changed. It's quite frustrating and I certainly feel your pain there.

My own grandmother is devout and I don't even dare tell her. She'd probably have a coronary if she found out, so I doubt I'll ever tell her. My mother, actually, she'd be the supportive one. It's my father that would pitch the bigger fit, though it's not over baptism as I went through that before I was even a year old(and another rant of mine altogether that I shall spare you and others on this board from hearing).

Actually, my mother knows already, as does my husband. Mom is pretty open minded and accepting as she was raised non-religious and isn't sure if she herself is even baptized. She believes that I have a choice to believe whatever I want, so at least one parent of mine and one person in the family supports me as well as my husband, who knew before we even got together. He, too, wasn't baptized. Wasn't an issue with his family, either.

It's my father's side that's more devout and as much as I'd like to just blurt out; "I'm an atheist, now DEAL with it", I know I'm pretty much screwed. They find out, they'll harass me more, and that's if I'm lucky. If I'm not...I'll probably be disowned. So, I suppose the only advice I can give you is that blurting it out probably isn't a good idea.

Actually, I know of a place where you could find someone who could answer this better than me. Go to about.com and do a search on "atheism". They have a section there, including Q&As, which I've read myself, and there's some advice there on what to do about telling family, or dealing with family members who want to bring you "back into the flock".

Best of luck to you, darlin', hopefully you'll find a good answer out there somewhere. :)

Answer 5

I let the subject come up by itself. At the time it was the topic of the pledge in school. They didn't even know that the original pledge didn't have "god" in it. And when they started to say things like "well they should keep 'God' in the pledge everyone should be taught about God, and atheists should stop trying to take god out of everything" ...that's when I hit them with the news....and boy did they shut up fast....especially since I once was a Christian, and they thought I still was...lol
P.S. We all get along better than ever now and I don't have to hide my atheism.

Answer 6

You are right. If you are not absolutely sure about asking Jesus to forgive your sins then all it will do is get you wet. You need to have a sit down talk with your parents and tell them you don't believe in God or that your not sure yet. Then it would be good if you talk to a Minister if your sure it will not change anything. If your afraid to do that, then you just aren't ready yet but there is still a chance you could come to the realization that without God, you wouldn't be here. You need to do some serious studying about God instead of listening to your buddies who know less than you do about it. Even as smart as we think we are, we cannot create life from nothing. Scientist are coming to the same conclusion too. They are saying there had to be intelligent intervention in order for this to happen. Read for yourself and don't make any snap judgments about Christianity. It's for real and God is for real. I know this because of what happened to me when I was in a coma some years ago. It's all real and without God, you and I are nothing.

Answer 7

If you don't believe that "some magic water is going to purify your soul" then why should you care if you go and get baptized? But, if it bothers you that much, you need to communicate it clearly to your family. You sound like you have conviction in your lack of belief...what's the problem with communicating it?

Answer 8

if you don't believe in doing something then don't do it but taking into consideration though that your concern is that you dont want to let your mom and grandma down then what the heck you can go ahead and do it for them anyways you did mention that you do not understand what a splash of water can do to purify your soul right? so you really have nothing to loose but still have your mom and grandmas love

Answer 9

I became an atheist after a couple dozen years of Christianity, so unfortunately I don't have a good answer for you.

I generally just avoid the topic, no sense worrying them about it.

Answer 10

I have the same problem with my sister. She is a strict baptist and freaked out on me when she found out i was not a republican. She yells and judges me because of my beliefs are not like hers. Just let your family live their beliefs and you live yours. I have to do that with my sister to stand up to her and tell her that is her opinion but this is a free world and God is a wonderful God and i have the right to choose which way i want to worship him. I know its very stressful because it causes me so much stress because my sister is always judging me but i have now made the decision just to laugh and ignore her next time she says something mean to me. Good luck. Be who you are .