This lady was my first ladyfriend. She dumped me harshly. She even bragged that she had found another guy and the she liked him because his skin was lighter than mine (me and the other guy are both African-Americans), she told me I was immature, she quit speaking and talking to me, and she even told me she was relieved to be with this other guy. In addition, she even told my mother that she felt she found "the one" which was not me . I was hurt when she dumped me so harshly. She was my first love and she dumped me so angrily with no remorse. I am a not a perfect guy but I am good guy. I always cherishted her and treated her respectfully but to no avail. That was the first and last relationship I ever had. I do not want another relationship.
Please feel free to comment.
2006-10-31 12:06:44 · 9 answers · asked by wayne b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont know what it is, but when a relationship breaks up and it is the other persons fault, we always take it upon ourselves. We wonder what we did wrong. We wonder if there was anything we could have done to change the situation. The sad truth is, that we usually cant and this woman sounds like she doesnt know what love is. She may be the type of person who looks upon boyfriends as conquests only. She probably has very little self esteem and only values herself by the man/men she is with.
Please dont let this bad experience cloud your judgement. She was in the wrong, and you need to put that where it belongs. It was nothing you did or said, it is just the way she is. She will probably dump this other guy when she finds someone "better". I know it hurts, but you should be thanksful she showed you her true colours before you got too involved, eg, married because your life with her would have been absolutely miserable. She would have worn the pants and controlled you because thats what she sounds like. She sounds very vindictive, so surely you wouldnt want to be with someone like that anyway.
Not all women are the same. Please dont spoil your chances of a happy relationship by this one terrible one. Give a woman a chance, dont tar us all with the one brush. It is unfair to the other women who will come into your life and genuinely care/love you, and it is unfair to you because if you hang onto this bitterness, it will destroy you eventually. Chalk it up to experience and let it go. Dont let it eat you up. She will get her just desserts one day, selfish/vindictive people havent got the capacity to really love someone anyway because they think about themselves too much. So this new guy in her life is going to experience the same kind of selfishness. Its not going to be roses for him, and like I said, be pleased you no longer have to associate with someone like that.
2006-10-31 12:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please don't let her ugly opinion of u define who you really are, she has shown her side too, and i would be happy i found this out before you married her or had kids.please don't let what one person did to u, and her unfounding insults deter you from another relationship. she talked to u like she did to justify what she did to you. the love of my life, my husband of 10 years, called me a fat fu... hog, one day when he was angry, the words wounded me. but consider the source of the words. she is not a nice person, just know that the other guy has the problem now, as i thought when my ex left me for a skinny girl. well i moved on, met someone else, who is much better than i had before. don't let this no nothing girl define how u feel about yourself, don't allow her to cheat you out of finding someone else. revenge is sweet, when u find someone else and are happy, why let this woman make you wallow in self pity. just be glad the other guy has her now with all of her hurtful ways. she is just saying that so she will have a reason why, so she won't have to be accountable for doing what she did. as for immature, people ususally call others what they really are.
2006-10-31 20:19:31 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey man you have to move on if u realy love her just be happy that she's happy Why she dumped you so harshly she's probably like my friend when she gets into a real relationship and is finaly happy she gets scared she's gonna get hurt and runs she was so harsh because she wanted your love for her to stop and in a way wanted you to hate her -don't give up on her but you can't be single the rest of your life
2006-10-31 20:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by prty grl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you are hurt, you will love again, we all do. I think that maybe she was not too good in the breaking-up department, but I can recall breaking it off pretty harshly with a few guys in my time because they did not understand the nice way of doing things.
2006-10-31 20:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do sound like a great guy and dont change-I feel this is why men turn to jerks, when bitches like her make it hard and men feel they need to go bad/same goes with girls. Skin colour, height, weight, looks whatever, she sounds like she wont ever be satisfied and you need to be strong and realise that people just are nasty when they could do things in a more polite way. She doesnt seem to respect her self-now that shes off with someone else. Value your self and see this as a good thing. You deserve better. Oh and dont settle for second best, you chose to be with someone who sounds like shes queen ****! You will find someone great when your least expect it! youll see. Take this as a learning experience. Dont judge what happened with her ruin your chances if you find someone nice. Be single for a while. I know your hurting. Thats life, you have to take chances and that includes with people too. At least you tried with her and it didnt work its normal. Just dont judge others for the way she is-its not fair on you and on someone that will like you later on.
2006-10-31 20:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a total *********!!!! You should be grateful to be out of that relationship, but I don`t think you should just give up. Not every woman is that cruel and you shouldn`t judge all future relationships on that one girl or you could miss out on YOUR chance to find "the one". I can`t believe she talked to your mom and bragged about being with another guy! What a loser!!! You don`t deserve that!! Noone does. I hope this new guy treats her like crap or cheats on her and she gets what is coming to her. Don`t dwell on the past and use it as an excuse to not put yourself out there. She obviously wasn`t right for you, but someone out there is. Just take what happened as a lesson learned and steer clear of girls like her.......but don`t cut out ALL ladies out!! Some lady will come along and show you the way love is SUPPOSED to be and you will forget all about what`s her name. By giving up on ALL women, you are giving her another victory and letting her control your life even after she is out of it. Don`t let her have that! Go out, get another woman, and try again. It`s VERY worth it once you find the right person!!! Trust me! I hope things work out for you. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you!! Good luck hun!
2006-10-31 20:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by slipknots love slave 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about the end of your relationship. Why did she have to be so mean? I wish I knew. Let your heart heal. You will find that special person, because you are a special person.
2006-10-31 20:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by RockwallCat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way I can explain her strong reaction: you must know something about her that she isn't comfortable with herself. and by telling you and your mom she's found better...it's her way of saying she's not affected by you knowing who she is, but she is affected and running scared.
2006-10-31 20:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by Omni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. Maybe she's just a *****. Or maybe someone told her you did something to her, that you apparently didn't know about.
2006-10-31 20:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by Jordan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋