I've never been in love with anyone, thank heavens, and I don't get close to people. I don't think that babies are cute, at all! And neither are little kids. I dislike romances, unless it's a classic like Pride and Prejudice, in fact, I love my dog more than I love anyone in my family.
I've been disappointed many times, and hurt, but I carry no regret or remorse or pain about it. They don't bother me at all.
I'm emotionally detached from people and the world. I'm interested in what I want to be interested in, and I stick to my priorities.
Now I have a boyfriend, who seems to be the same, though not as "hard around the heart". We get along fine, and cuddle and everything. But I feel trapped with him, because I do not love him.
He's said that he loves me, I've said it back simply because I felt that I shouldn't disappoint him.
Am I too hard a person?
I have truly attempted to become "softer", but found it impossible.
2006-10-31 11:50:31 · 8 answers · asked by Nicole 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just for interests' sake:
I have lived, and still live, a normal life, with a normal family.
I have never been molested or raped or beaten. Nobody would've gotten it right with me anyway... I believe in my rights to a good life.
2006-10-31 12:00:01 · update #1
if u find a good answer let me know because i am the exact same way........
2006-10-31 11:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You sound a little hard but you sound like you want to be hard, there is a difference. If this guy isn't what you want you need to do the right thing and tell him. Don't keep him around just to keep you from being lonely. Tell him how you feel and then get out there in a group setting or something and find someone, not to get engaged to but to spend time with, do yu have friends that you spend time with? You could have problems attatching to people. I moved a lot as a kid and growing up I always had to leave everyone. I always felt like a gypsy and never attatched easily. so, I know how you feel. I still feel like moving sometimes out of the blue. Been here for 14 yrs. Longest in life before this was about 2 yrs. so, I know it's hard. But, I am married for 18 yrs and he's great. So, we are all different and have different hangups. The merging of two people not alike but different and talking to someone that understands you and still wants to be around you is nice to have. Not all love is fireworks, I always found those short lived myself. The tried and true are the ones that will be there when your mom needs you or your health fails or you need help with a family problem. Those are the really important things, especially for people like us. We don't understand that and are scared of it, but, it is what we need. Good luck.
2006-10-31 12:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think some therapy might get you in touch with some feeling you seem to have behind a very thick wall. This doesn't mean you have to change everything about yourself, just get some help on bringing the wall down a bit. You are being so careful not to get hurt you are actually missing a beautiful thing called love and all the things that go with love. Sometimes you'll get hurt, but that's the risk, because the benefits or pros far outweigh the cons. I hope you you open yourself up to find true happiness.
2006-10-31 12:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Did something happen to you when you were younger to make you where you detach yourself emotionally????
I myself think this is a little strange that your so detached from everything.Your missing out on the best parts of life (in My opinion anyways).Also if your really that detached from everything and everybody and don't get emotionally involved it's kind of like being a robot and going through the motions of living and to Me thats not having much of a life.I could not even begin to imagine the kind of life you live.
You make me really sad for you....i couldn't imagine how it is you keep everyone at a distance and to never be in love....Wow!
I will say this i am picky about who i let close to me and they have to prove themselves to me before i'll get myself emotionally involved but to never get too close to people..i don't get that.Ohh and about your question are you too hard of a person.In my opinion yeah you are...and if you really desire to try and become a softer person as you put it.Then you'll have to learn to open yourself up to people and let them in.It's not an impossible thing to learn,just take baby steps and eventually you'll get there .
Ohh and about saying i love you to your boyfriend,if you didn't mean it you shouldn't say it.I'm assumming thats why your feeling trapped right now.
2006-10-31 12:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe you should detach yourself emotionally if you're a Doctor, or someone working with people that will eventually die and leave you for sure. If you're in that career and you attach yourself emotionally to these people, you would be an emotional wreck because you continue to lose the people you love and have built close bonds with.
I think you're selfish because you only care to save yourself from hurt, but you're more than ready to hurt others. You don't think he's telling you the truth?
You know you're not telling the truth and that's awful of you to lead your boyfriend on when there's no possibility of feelings of love for him from you.
2006-10-31 12:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you for the most part, although I do love babies (even though I'd never have one) and my family is tolerable. You're absolutely right not to get close to people. The worst thing a woman can do these days is look vulnerable to anyone.
2006-10-31 13:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My dear, you are who you are, don't ever make any apologies for who you are - you are as unique as a snowflake.
I like to detach myself emotionally but it's a challenge for me.
FP
2006-10-31 11:53:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what happened to you when you were little?
2006-10-31 11:54:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋