How do yall feel about parents having favorites???

Question

My friend Is a twin and her mother always put her sister over her and makes her feel so bad. Then she makes her have a low self-asteem

Answer 1

I've always stress to my children that life is not fair. Everytime I heard them tell me that "it's not fair!" I would ask them "Who lied to you and told you that life was fair? It wasn't me." The greatest thing for your friends self esteem is learning to love them self just the way they are. We can't go through life thinking that if we only please people we will be happy, and depending on that to build our self esteem. That will always cause a problem. Sorry, I know this was not the answer you were looking to hear, but it's the best advise I can give you.

Answer 2

I feel for your friend. I grew up in this same situation, and for a very long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. My mother didn't marry my father. She married another man when I was 4 and my half-brother came along a few months later. Until that happened, my mom and I had a very good relationship. She would read me stories every night and tuck me into bed. When she got married and my brother came along, I was suddenly 'cast' into a corner. I felt like I was an inconvenience to her, and that hurt a lot. I became very jealous and resentful towards my brother. My step-father was very emotionally and mentally abusive.

As I grew up, I developed self-esteem issues, and food became a comfort for me. To this day I battle with a weight issue because of it, and it is very hard. I hated my step-father, and I wished and prayed every day that my mother would get divorced. It never happened.

Even today, at 26, my mother's love and acceptance is very important to me, though I am starting to learn that it really doesn't matter anymore. My mom still favours my brother over me, and I believe that she always will. I wasn't a bad kid; I never got into trouble, I got straight As (at least until I hit senior high; then I didn't really care much), and I graduated from high school with honours. I was involved in church, and I was on every committee that was started. I was a Sunday School teacher by the time I was 15, and I was in the church band. I never could understand why I wasn't loved as much as my brother.

My stepfather's entire family treated me this way, with the exception of one or two. My grandfather was just outright mean! And grandfathers aren't supposed to be that way. I used to believe it was because I was adopted, but when I got older, I realized that other people had been adopted into the family and they were treated normally. There was just something about me that they didn't like. After I'd gotten married, one of my aunts said to me "It's not that we didn't love you, it's just that you were so different." She didn't mean for that to sound mean, but to me it just meant that in order to be treated like everyone else, I had to BE like everyone else. And I wasn't. I am a very strong-minded person, with my own ideas and opinions, and I am not about to change that for anyone else.

Love your friend, and tell her everyday that it isn't her. One day, her mom will have to answer for the fact that she treated her daughter this way, just as my mother will have to. I know that I will never change my mother, so for now, there is nothing I can do. Strangely enough, I don't think my mother and I are that close, but she seems to think we are. Then again, my mother has always been a tad delusional.

Answer 3

I think its horrible. I had a grandmother that did me that way with my cousins who were the same age as me. We all had birthdays the same week. She treated me and my brother horrible. I would go home crying from visits. She is deceased now. But I still have memories of how she treated me. It doesn't feel good at all.

It is not right at all for parents to have favorites. You might be closer to one child but you should never play favorites and make a difference between children.

Answer 4

Unfortuntely, it happens alot. I work with kids and their families everyday and its easy to see when parents choose favorites. I really don't know what to do, but I think its very unfair and has harmful effects on the one who isnt the "favorite". To fix it, she could say something to her mother. If she is too afraid or embarassed, maybe you could say something. It might not be the best thing, but I think its better to let the mother know the effect she is having on her daughter than to let your friend go on feeling like that. Good Luck

Answer 5

Of the four children my mother has I am her favorite daughter (also her only daughter) my oldest brother is her favorite when it comes to math, the middle one is her favorite joker and the baby is her scientist so each of has is a favorite in a way and each. I feel bad for those who are made to feel that one sibling is better then another.

Answer 6

I hate it. There's 6 of us, I'm number 4, and she always seems to get stuff for the youngest, and the oldest. D:

Answer 7

I'm my dad's fave, and my sister's my mom's fave.
So it means that I get the **** end of the stick.
Being a favorite should be used to the best advantage, in all of life's situations. I'm sorry. but it's true.
Let the sister talk to her mom about it.

Answer 8

Parents (or grandparents) showing favoritism is one of the saddest things. How they can be so cruel I don't know.

Answer 9

it sucks!! my parents favor my brothers rather than the girls in my family. i had to see a psychiatrist (4 of them) to get over it. now, i've come to terms with it and accept it as it is. i can't change my parents but i can change myself.

Answer 10

just tell her to ignore her mother because im shore that her mother still loves her