Should I give up on waiting for her?

Question

I've been walking a rather slippery slope. About 3 months ago, I began dating a co-worker. The relationship began as very intense and passionate. Problem is...she's married. Since she began working at my company, she constantly told all of us that she was unhappy and planning to get a divorce. I guess my mistake was believing her. In any case, I went with her to see a divorce lawyer (at her request), and I even helped her get an apartment in my building (at her request). She never moved into the apartment. And the relationship fizzled. Her statement to me was that she couldn't date until after she was divorced. She no longer works with my company, but I still talk to her online on a regular basis. I haven't seen or spoken with her in person since the day she stopped working with me. I have told her that I will wait until she is divorced, and she has never told me not to, but I keep getting the feeling that she won't get divorced. Should I move on? I really care about her. HELP! :-)

Answer 1

I am so sorry and can't imagine how painful this has to be for you.
I would have to say move on. Sounds to me like she really didn't have a clue and as bad as I hate to say it, you were used in the proses of her discovering her self.
I would without a doubt move on and never tangle in the ugliness of a married woman and her what are a lot of times lies.
I would say she felt a void in her relationship and it's since been filled. Maybe she didn't think you would take it so far. She got cold feet and ran. I wouldn't even waste my time talking to her on-line. I'm pretty sure she's trying something/someone new to fill her selfish void now.
Again, I feel for you but life is FULL of real woman, unattached. Don't let her get you down.
Sorry I may not have been as helpful as some.
~T~

Answer 2

First of all, a long term relationship at work is not the smartest thing to be done. Plus the fact that she was married, it spelled disaster right from the start. Think about it this way: if she really wanted to be with you and get a divorce, she would have done it a.s.a.p.
There could be many reasons for which she couldn't divorce: she may have loved you, but she could have loved her husband more; maybe she thought about her kids (if any) and how they would have handled the situation, there are so many situations to be considered!
The point is that if she changed her job and she doesn't want to meet you again face2face, even if you 2 talk on-line, it seems to me that she cut off all real connections between u2, so my advice is LET IT GO! move on and keep your head up even if it hurts! Good luck!

Answer 3

Im sorry to tell ya, she is not interested anymore. You should definitely move on. It isnt right that you went for a married woman, and not to be mean, but you kinda set yourself up for this confusion and possible hurt feelings. I was kinda in this type of situation before, and then I realized even though my relationship was passionate and hot with the one guy, I didnt feel like I would leave who I was with for him. She may have troubles and frustrations with her husband, and maybe even want to divorce him, but at the same time not want to be without him either. Its like we women get mad cause were not gettin what we want in a man, and we say we wanna break up/divorce, but really we hold out hope that our guy will change. So I wouldnt wait around for someone, you are obviously on the back burner, and she would just be using you because things didnt work out with her hubby, and she may just find someone else after you even if she did leave him for you. Just suck it up and move on---for yourself and her!!!!

Answer 4

I think you should take her leave of absence from the physical world as the answer. Wanting to divorce or not, she is married. I know that you have developed feelings for her, but you need to get into a healthy relationship with someone who is single and willing to see you in person on a regular basis.

Answer 5

If she is not ready to move out yet then she isn't really looking to get a divorce quite yet. She may not be happy but that doesn't mean she has any plans on leaving him. Sounds to me like she just wants you around as a back up plan.

My advice - Find your own woman

Answer 6

In that sort of circumstance, someone who is married, NEVER wait on them! It's awfully flattering to the one you're waiting for, and they have the best of both worlds. Go on with your life, if you are still available if/when she gets a divorce, fine, date her then. If you wait, how long will you wait? 1, 2, 5 years? Don't set yourself up to end up feeling like a fool.

Answer 7

You should definitely not wait for her. She either has someone else, still has unresolved issues with/feelings for her ex/current, or she just doesn't like you anymore and wants to get rid of you. Forget about her. I'm a woman, I've been in similar situations (although I'm not married), and I'm talking from experience.

Answer 8

everyone deserves to be loved I think you should move on . But dont feel rejected by her because she doent leave her husband it doesnt mean you are not a loving person but sometimes it takes yearsa before you leave a relationship especailly if you have kids involved or property together. good luck in finding true love

Answer 9

ok listen, the girl used u.she probably wanted someone to talk to because her husband is away or maybe she has a husband that she is inlove with and he is not in love with her they are together for some cause. But you sound like you have it all together so believe me she has no intention on being with you so let her go. find you some one to be with for the rest of your life.

Answer 10

Remember this, she cheated on him with you, what's to keep her from doing this again?

You should just ask her, if she wants to be with you or not. Tell her she has one week to tell you one way or the other. Stop hanging on, she's not coming your way. I can tell from the start.

Just find another girl and stop thinking with your little head. She may have been good in bed, but she sucks at life in general.
Most do......