10 points for the fastest help ;) HW PLZ HELP?

Question

HI all ;)
before i start i just want to tell u that english is not my first language so im kind of bad at it ;)

any way the first usefull help will get 10 point so .. :)

i have an essay about my dream job and i have to explan it and since i don't have any dreams i found it hard to do this essay any way ,, i did it and i need you plz plz to read it and correct and add some ideas and stuff here it is and plz i need it ASAP i have to hand it in after 15 hours -->

Having the ability to dream is one of the blessings that we were lucky to have as human beings , it help us go and accomplish things through life, dreams have no limitation and no boundaries .

I have many dreams that I’m hoping to accomplish them through out life, one of those dreams is to start my own business, having a business of my own will help me do many things that I’ve always wanted to do them, it will also help me develop my personality, and it will make me a better and more assertive person.

So after very long time of thinking I found the perfect type of business that will help me meet al the dreams that I want to accomplish them on the business field.

I needed a business that will help in shaping a better future; a job that will help those young children’s who one day will be the leaders of this country, a job that will keep me and all workers around me happy, a job that will help in building a better and brighter future. And because I wanted to start something new that hasn’t been done here I thought that I might be the first to do it “a hobby development center”

What’s a hobby development center you might think? It’s a center were people of all ages and different genders can develop and they might even discover there talents and hobbies , that’s why my center help young people in particular and old people in general keep their minds in something useful that will help them lead there country and raising it to the top .

In order to do what’s in my mind I need a creative staff a staff that contain many experts “scientists, psychologists, athletes ...Ext” and I will also be needing patient employees , employees that knows how to deal with people so my clients will be happy and satisfied .

Finally , I’m really hoping and believing that it will really be a very successful center because people are eager to this kind of what I call it excitement learning .

Answer 1

Having the ability to dream is one of the blessings that we are lucky to have as human beings. It helps motivate us so we can accomplish things throughout our life. Dreams have no limitations or boundaries.

I have many dreams that I am hoping to accomplish. Throughout life, one of my dreams is to start my own business. Having a business of my own will help me do many things that I’ve always wanted to do. It will also help me develop my personality, and it will make me a better individual, as well as a more assertive person.

So after very long time of thinking, I found the perfect type of business that will help me meet all the dreams that I want to accomplish in the business field.

I need a business that will help shape a better future. It is important to find a job that will help young children who want to be leaders of our country. It is necessary to find a job that will keep all the workers and me happy. The job must help in building a better and brighter future. I want to start something new that hasn’t been done here before. I thought that I might be the first to do start a "Hobby Development Center.”

What is a Hobby Development Center, you might think? It is a center were people of all ages and different genders can develop and even discover their talents and hobbies. My center will help young people, as well as older people. The center will help the clients lead their country and contribute in raising it to the top.

In order to make my center, I need a creative staff which contains many experts such as scientists, psychologists, and athletes. I will also need employees who are patient and who know how to deal with all different types of people. This way, my clients will be happy and satisfied.

Finally, I believe my "Hobby Development Center" will be a very successful business. In my opinion, people are eager to experience exciting and hands-on learning.

Answer 2

The idea is good. I think you need to check some of the grammar. I'm not criticizing just noticed that some of the sentences don't have a flow to them. Write the paragraphs down and correct some of the spelling and sentences. ou need to use that Dream word a little more maybe and be more detailed in what exactly you would be doing at this center, it's a little vague. I don't have the time to go through it all but, take your time and keep checking yourself. Get a teacher or a friend that is very good in English to help you a little... it should be your work. OK?

Answer 3

Ok here are some ideas, you need more commas and you need to go back and make sure that you speeled EVERYTHING right! I noticed that you misspelled a few words which is understandable considering the great amount of stress that it takes to write a essay. Your storyline , however, is great and I like it. I just thought that i would give you some ideas. I don't want to give you the exact answers, because i want you to be able to do this on your own and when you get an "A" it won't be someone else who did it for you. Well i really hope this helps i really need 10 points haha =) well good luck and God Bless!

Answer 4

This is pretty easy. The paper airplane/helicopter with the most paperclips is assumed to fall much quicker than the plane with the least because more weight causes a greater gravitational pull. Or The plane with 2 paper clips is likely to fly faster and farther due to the added weight which creates less drag and air resistance when the plane is thrown.

Answer 5

The "dream job" is just an expression, not the job you see in your dreams but the most desired job you could imagine for yourself so the whole story about dreams may need to be scratched and reworked. Your English is fine for this job. Keep up!