Well I have been with my bf for almost two years now and I am deeply in love with him,but we are pretty young(16, 17) but we have spent so long together. We have been arguing alot lately and we arent sure if breaking up is necessary or not. I dont know what I should do. Can you help me?
2006-10-31 09:14:56 · 20 answers · asked by nicole 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're very young and A LOT changes during this time. I would take a break. Don't get serious until you mid 20's. I still talk to my high school sweetheart as friends and we are REALLY different from eachother now. We laugh trying to picture what it would be like if we were still together. We took 2 VERY different paths!
2006-10-31 09:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by [un]bro/ken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, you are VERY young to be this attached to one person. But since your heart is already there, let's see if there is still room for reason. Sometimes fighting is an indication that all is not well and that there are serious differences which cannot, or should not be ignored. If you are sorting things out as you argue and coming to mutual agreements, good. If not, and you continue to bicker and fight about the same things over and over, it may be a way of starting to cut the cord. In relationships, there are ebbs and flows. Sometimes things are great and sometimes things aren't so great. How you work through says alot about each of you. Sometimes fighting can be a way of checking to see if someone is ready to take it to another level, a deeper level, and the thought is, well, "If he or she loves me and we are meant to be, we will whether this, if not sinara amigos". How many people have you heard of being given the big heave ho, and a few weeks later they are all lovey dovey and planning their weddings? ALOT! But sometimes, its a sign of real trouble. Try and examine what is going on, have a heart to heart with your man when you ARE NOT FIGHTING, "I need to talk to you and understand what is going on here, I want to have a serious talk, but not a fight. So can we speak honestly so we can either work this out or at least understand what is going on?" Then let him talk, let him tell you what he thinks, what he is feeling. Ask if he would like to take a break from one another? Does he want to date others? And so on. Be prepared to let him go if he says yes. Be a big girl and say "I love you enough to want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me". If he finds someone else, he was going to anyways. If he wants to make sure you are it, by seeing what else he might be missing, make sure you can do the same, then do it. Date around, see other people. If you are meant to be, you will. If not, you will and he will find someone else to love. In any case, being so young, you have your whole life stretched out before you, make sure you aren't continueing to invest in a relationship just because you have two years in. Do you want to wait until you have 3 kids and he thinks he missed out? Or you think you did? Think about it, if you're old enough to date someone, you're old enough to be a big girl and learn some valuable lessons and see if your man is really a man or just a playboy. Good luck to you! I hope it works out for both of you!
2006-10-31 17:29:13 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are telling my life story. I was with my ex for 2 years and we were arguing a lot after the 1st year, we ended up breaking up and to be honest it was the most difficult thing I had to do in my life, but now its been almost 3 years and I couldn't be happier, I found the right person who makes me laugh and makes me happy. I think that after the 2 years you still love the person, but it seems like you are used to that person a bit more, just like I was. Good luck hun! I wish you all the best and if you are not happy get out you are only 16. Happy Halloween!
2006-10-31 17:22:07 · answer #3 · answered by Solomia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is time for a break. I was with my x for 3 years, and I thought we were in love. I was 19 when this happened. We took a good look at our relationship and thought that we needed a break. After a while I found out that all we really wanted was something different. I found a new guy that is even greater than my x. You may not necissarily want to go out and get someone new if you love him, just take some time to breathe.
2006-10-31 17:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt matter how young you are if you guys really love each and want to work it out and be with each other for years to come than try talking about WHAT makes you argue and if youre still arguing take a little break.
2006-10-31 17:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by abelssexywifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation before, trust me I learned from my mistakes. What you two need is some time apart. The argueing isn't going to stop soon. Some time apart is better if you guys are always together. Let him go with the guys and you go with the girls, talk about it with him. Trust me, you don't want your guy to get tired of always being with you and he'll end up wanting to try someone else. The same goes with you. You guys will think about each other more and actually miss each other!
2006-10-31 17:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lilmamasita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at your age, both of your personalities are going to change MANY times. The trick is to see if you can keep up with eachother's changes while dealing with your own. If you've been fighting lately, it seems that the changes have already started. Breaking up is not really necessary but this should give you some insight on what to watch for.
The fights are just from the changes. If you two can't keep up with eachother, it's ok to consider breaking up.
2006-10-31 17:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just be having growing pains. It's understandable that you love your boyfriend, but maybe taking some time apart will save your relationship. Sometimes when you spend so much time around a person you start to grow tired of that person. Maybe taking up seperate interests like sports or something else recreational wise, will give you two a chance to be apart but still together and also it gives you a chance to grow and widen out and meet new people.
2006-10-31 17:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both so young. If you are planning on going to college after highschool, your relationship will most likely come to an end eventually.
At your age, a relationship is for fun. If you are arguing alot, it might be time to give eachother some space. Spend time with your friends and focus on school. That's my advise.
Good luck!
2006-10-31 17:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both young and have so much to look forward to in life. If these are arguments over the same thing over and over or they are just picky thing there is no need to have to put up with it obviously the problems arent being resolved so move on and cut him off completely. You dont want to waste such a great time of your life in tears and anxiety over it, and you will only gain strength from this for future relationships and have the benefit of being able to recognise bad behaviours in future relationships.
Time to move on, hold your head up and smile,its just closing a very very small chapter in you life. :)
2006-10-31 17:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Spastikus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋