My fiances son went to jail and he is facing a very long prison sentence. My future sis-in-law wants my fiance to dip into savings for our wedding to get him a lawyer to get him out on bond. My fiance said he was not going to do that bcuz he didn't put him in jail. We'll be there for him in every other way but my fiance refuses to dip into our wedding fund and his sister told him f**k your wedding! Is my fiance right? And should I still invite my future sis-in-law to the wedding since she doesn't seem to care about it anyway? I guess I should say that his son is up on a murder charge and we would need like $25,000 to get him out on bond, I might as well kiss my wedding good bye! What do you think?
2006-10-31 08:59:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your partner is very right and his son will have to incurr the harsh realities of such a horrid act. if your sis in law is so passionate on getting him a lawyer she can pay for it. Stand by your man on this hon, he sounds like he has a good head on his shouldrs. still invite her if she refuses that is her tough luck, she will miss a truly wonderful occasion. enjoy your wedding !!!
2006-10-31 09:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by Spastikus 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Apparently this son is an adult. So, he needs to take responsibility for whatever it is that he has done. If there is a question of his innocence I may say scale down the wedding and help him. But if he is guilty then you need to let him deal with what he has done and go on with your wedding. And if your future sis-in-law cannot respect the decision that you and your fiance make she needs to stay home. You don't need anyone at your wedding that is not happy for you.
2006-10-31 09:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to your fiance for doing the right thing! Under no circumstances should you sacrifice your special day to bail out a criminal up for a MURDER CHARGE. His sister is being very unreasonable, and your fiance is right. Neither of you put his son in that position, and you shouldn't put your wedding on hold to support him.
I would extend the invitation to your sis-in-law anyway. If she decides not to attend the wedding, then that will be her loss!
This is going to be one of the most beautiful & important days of your life; enjoy it!
The show must go on!
Congrats. :)
2006-10-31 09:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Janx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's just it. It's your future husband's son. He needs to be the one to make that decision and if his answer is no, then so be it. It's his child and if he's made peace with this decision and can honestly say he has NO regrets standing by his decision, you should support him. If you're having trouble understanding his decision not to try to get his son out, talk with him about it. ow else will you be able to appreciate his strength? It takes a lot for a parent to make difficult decisions where their children are concerned. As for the future SIL, well, it's not her money that she's wanting to spend. If your husband-to-be doesn't want to do it, than no one should make him. She needs to understand and respect and support him as well. If she wants him out so terribly, then let her post the money. She has no right telling either of you what to do during this difficult time. As for inviting her to the wedding, send her an invitation. What could happen? She sends it back and/or doesn't show. That's her problem. Not yours. Good luck!!
2006-10-31 10:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
F*** your sister in law.... your right you didn't put him in jail and personally its non of your sister in laws business tell her to get him out if she wants him out so bad. You are not doing anything wrong.... as long as you support him and help him in ways that you can your fine. I would not sacrifice your wedding fund to get him out of jail. I am sure there are other things your whole family could do to try and get him out. Don't stress and ignore your sis in law.... but still invite her to the wedding, if she chosess not to come so be it, but at least your in the clear and 30 years from now she can't say you never invited her.
2006-10-31 09:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question? Do you even know your fiance's son. And if you do,
Is it worth bailing him out? And mean, he's facing murder charges. That's pretty deep s**t. If he deserves to helped, I think you should help him. Who cares about a big wedding. You have the ceremony, people criticize you anyway and it only last for a while.
Your new marriage should be based on trust and caring for each other and I know that deep within, your fiance is suffering because of his son. If you have a chance to help him and if he's worth it.
DO IT
2006-10-31 09:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by Paul G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! Do not take your wedding money to get him out on bond. Murder charges? It's not like he shoplifted a pack of gum. That is serious and if your future sis-in-law is so bent on getting him out of jail, ask her to take out a loan herself to get him out of jail. Why should you and your fiance give up your wedding (or your money - period) to get him out of jail?
It's unfortunate, but as your fiance said... he didn't put his brother in jail. You play you pay.
As for inviting her - yes, I would still invite her. It's not worth casuing more trouble by not inviting her to the wedding. Let her be the rude one to not go, rather than you look like the rude one by not inviting her.
2006-10-31 09:02:57 · answer #7 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a good man if he refuses to dip into the wedding savings to get his son out of jail - especially if he is in there on MURDER charges! Maybe his sister should get him out if it means so much to her! The more you 'save the day' for criminals, the more they end up looking for handouts.........let him serve his time and learn his lesson......
2006-10-31 12:42:12 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Have your wedding and invite your sis in law and never speak of it again. It is not your fault he is in jail and you shouldn't give up the most important day in your life to bail someone out of jail...especially if he did murder someone! Why doesn't your sis in law take out a loan and pay for it herself?? She has no right to tell you what to do with YOUR money. It sucks that he's in jail....but no one else should have to suffer because of that....
2006-10-31 09:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your fiance is saying he won't bail his brother out, then don't push it...your wedding is a special day and you both deserve it. If his sister is being that way...she probably won't show up but to avoid more tension you really should invite her. If she causes a scene then ask security to get her out...its that simple. Good luck!
2006-10-31 12:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋