I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2yrs now. But I recently met someone who also has a girlfriend but he says he likes me. The other day he told me that his girlfriend is out of the country so he has an empty house. I have been so so so tempted to take him up on his offer but my boyfriend is the only guy I have ever slept with so I keep getting scared. Also I don't know if my boyfriend would do the same to me even though he says he loves me. HELP!!!
2006-10-31 08:51:17 · 29 answers · asked by coolblu_topaz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I did it the once would it still be cheating?
2006-10-31 08:53:43 · update #1
Well, ultimately this is up to you to decide, but I wouldn't do it.
I was in a similar situation last year - I was single though, but a guy who was seeing someone else was interested in me. I decided to give things a go with him anyway, and his relationship was rocky and patchy to begin with. I knew I would end up getting hurt but I did anyway. I didn't sleep with him, however I ended up feeling used anyway. I never would have thought I would have agreed to go out with someone who was already seeing someone else, but I think I just wanted to feel that someone was interested in me. I called it quits in the end and that was the best thing to come out of it - I feel rubbish about it as it is and all I can say is that I thank my lucky stars that I didn't sleep with him as I would feel even worse now to be honest (I don't have much sexual experience and something like that would have probably caused some psychological damage!).
I think you need to ask why you want to sleep with him - is it just desire, or do you have a need that isn't being satisfied by your boyfriend? If it is the latter then you need to identify the problem you have with your boyfriend. If it is the former, well in any relationship I think it is likely that either partner will feel an attraction to someone else at some point, but in a good, stable relationship an attraction is all it will be allowed to be - if your relationship with your boyfriend is going well then there is no reason why you would risk what you have with him by sleeping with someone else, and someone who is likely to trample all over your heart at that. You say that you don't know if your boyfriend would do the same to you - after 2 years you still don't know that? It sounds as if there are some serious trust issues here, and while not knowing how likely he is to cheat on you is understandable in the early stages of a relationship, after 2 years you should know that by now.
I think you should review your relationship with your boyfriend, preferably by discussing it with him directly, before you go with this other man. However, for all you know this other man could be the best thing to happen to you, but be aware that if he is cheating on his girlfriend, then he is likely to cheat on you too, so how can you trust him anyway?
If it is no strings sex that you are after with this other man, well that could be fun, however in this situation both you and the other man have a lot to lose, and when it goes sour it will be like an atomic bomb in your heart.
Good luck!
2006-10-31 09:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by Leafy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats wrong... Just like everyone else is saying - how would you feel if you were the other girl and your bf done it to you??
I think you have to ask yourself if your still in love with your bf, cause if you really are you wouldn't be contimlating it. Sure we all find other people sexually attractive but if you act on it thats when you have to question your love for your partener.
Think about it but... and if you really want to do it, then break up with ur bf first, that way the guilt wont come back to haunt you.
Good luck.
2006-10-31 17:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by Justaguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have kind of answered you question in your own statement you obviously don't feel as strongly toward your boyfriend as he to you or you wuoldn't even be contemplating cheating on him. Kissing (toungues etc) touching is all cheating wether once or a hundred time's the question i would be asking myself is if i love the person i'm with why am i thinking of cheating on him. address that one before stepping any further.
If this guy can cheat on his girlfriend he obviously doesn't have a lot of respect for her or you. thing of the consequences if you do do it and your boyfriend finds out.
there are too many other things to think about well before sleeping with this guy..
2006-10-31 16:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by kittycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say what goes around comes around. You have a boyfriend so why would you risk damaging your relationship to sleep with another guy who has a GIRLFRIEND just because she's out of the country? It's not worth it. If, you love your boyfriend and your relationship dont do it. If you don't love him then get out of the relationship.
2006-10-31 16:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please respect yourself and DON'T do it. See how you're questioning your BF now? if you do it, you will always suspect, because we never suspect anything unless we imagine and act up it.
Why would you want the drama? Would you want your man doing this to you? Think about if you were that guys GF who's away? If you were her adn you found out how would that make you feel?
Why would you want to hurt anyone or yourself for that matter like this?
Please don't do it, cheating is wrong.
Edit: Yes if you did it JUST ONCE it would still be cheating.
2006-10-31 16:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by MisterO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.
Well, sounds to me like you are telling yourself lots of excuses because you want to do this.
The truth is, you are "sexually attracted" to this 2nd guy, but you know you don't LOVE him.
My question is, if you would consider cheating on your long time boy friend, do you love him either?
The BIG questions is, if you base your happiness on "sexual attractons" BEFORE love
do you even love yourself?
Do you even know who you are beyond a sex object?
Is there more to you than that urge between your legs?
What is cool about you?
What makes you feel good in your HEART about you?
What ever you decide, remember, you have to live with that decision, and the consequences.
One consequences of cheating is the strongest human emotion = guilt.
Can you live with guilt???
Just giving you some things to think about.
stw
.
2006-10-31 16:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey I've been tempted before, but bottom line is, if you really care for your bf, you're going to regret cheating on him. In the end, the whole thing just won't be worth it. Trust me, I've been there (to a certain degree.)
2006-10-31 16:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by fruninto 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't cheat on your boyfriend. This shouldn't even be a problem, because if you truely cared for your boyfriend, you wouldn't even think about cheating. Maybe you're just getting bored with your boyfriend... Ask him about experimenting.. maybe adding another person in?
2006-10-31 16:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by chula198705 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hell no. You have a boyfriend and He has a girlfriend. Girl get your head in the game. yes it would be considered cheating just one time. think of this is one death to many. yes it is. So i hope you take my advice.
2006-10-31 17:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by Blondie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh..first, break up with your boyfriend if your even thinking about this.
Second, I wouldn't sleep with any guy unless theyre willing to live up to a relationship or some kind of commitment.
2006-10-31 16:55:03 · answer #10 · answered by Lina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋