It wasn't until I had the ring on my finger did she start making nasty comments about me. We are only a few weeks away from the wedding and my future mother-in-law is trying to get my fiance to call off the wedding. He reassures me that that won't happen, but for some reason now she can't stand me. We have been dating for 3 years and we talked openly about getting married for at least a year, so its not a surprise to her. She has even threatened to not come to the wedding at all. I honestly can't think of anything I have done to offend her. She will completely deny everything if I ask her. I just don't know what to do.
2006-10-31 08:46:47 · 33 answers · asked by Jenna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that she is in a power struggle with you .She probably does
not want to let go of her son, Just be as nice as possible to her.
Once you are married she will come around to the realization that
you are the one who makes her sonny boy happy. If she doesn't ---well that's her problem. Get married, don't let anything or anybody ruin your special day. It will her loss. and she probably
is just bluffing anyway--- She wont want to miss the chance to show off anyway. HAVE A HAPPY LIFE!
2006-10-31 09:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by bernice l 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You stole her baby thats what you did!!! You cannot stresss about your mother in law.... you didn't do anything wrong. she probably is just feeling awkward because she is losing her son to you. Its hard for some mothers to let go. You just keep on smiling and loving your fiance. If she really starts to be mean, then maybe it will be a blessing if she doesn't attend the wedding. I know many mother in laws that do that, and I find it very weird. But remember that she will get over it, she had to know that he son would fall in love and get married. I would talk to your fiance about how this is making you feel and maybe you three could have a talk. Try and put her in her place so he straightens up. Good Luck and don't stress.
2006-10-31 08:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're taking her son away. Many mothers have that reaction. You're just fine and dandy dating,... but when you "steal" him away with marriage then it's a whole other story. That is not to say all mothers do this! Most do not. But some do. I think this might be a case of jealousy and insecurity on the mother's part.
Maybe talk to your fiance to see what it could be that has made her so hateful towards you. Let him know that it's important that you and she have a cordial relationship and ask if there is anything you can do to "remedy" the situation. If she is unwilling to discuss anything with you or unwilling to give your fiance any solid answers as to what you have "done" to make her so hateful, then I would say it's all just jealousy and hurt that her little boy is now going to be cared for by another woman.
2006-10-31 08:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well good luck on this one. Just keep being yourself make sure she knows how much you love her son and that won't change. If your fiance is serious about the wedding he knows that he is taking the next step. You will be his new family. Of course the two of you will be involved with your mother-in-law and eventually we hope she will realize that the two of you are one now. I have been in a similar situation. Believe it or not my mother-in-law and I can now be friends. Maybe not the best but after 14 years with her son I guess she figures I'm not giving up.
2006-10-31 08:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by ft123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it can be so hard to have someone hate you all of a sudden. She may feel you are taking her son away. You just have to trust your fiancee when he says he will not call off the wedding. The best thing you can do is talk to your fiancee about what is going on. He needs to make sure he is on your side, that he fights for your team. His mom may not like it but if you are a team she will have to learn to deal with it. You and your fiancee cannot let his mother's threats interfere with the wedding. You both have to make it clear to her that you are going to be married with or without her. (Do it nicely though) I hope she won't be petty enough to not show up to the wedding but if she does then it is her loss. I wish you the best.
2006-10-31 16:33:36 · answer #5 · answered by ravendark_82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try your best to ignore it for now. A wedding is stressful enough without the mom-in-law drama. Some people just love attention good or bad and that's what you are giving her when you worry about her liking you. This is your big day! Eventually she'll come around. I think it'll be a big mistake to start catering to her because she'll expect it from here on out.
2006-10-31 09:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by Candace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore her and live your own life. Make sure your fiance supports you in this decision as down the road things could get rocky. The only thing you have done wrong my dear is in her mind you are taking her baby away from her. Until now mommy was his no.1 female and she can't stand giving that up. Trust me stand up to hr now and things will be easier later. You may even come to be friends. WHY you say I can say this been there done this
2006-10-31 08:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by bridgettemarie123@yahoo.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels like she's losing her son. It doesnt sound personal if you've done nothing and she liked you before. The only thing I can say is she's wrong, but hopefully she'll eventually come around and just put on a happy face. If she's not there, then she missed out, not you. I'm sure she'll eventually come around though, you might just have to be the better person, althought you shouldnt have to be.
2006-10-31 09:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be kind to her; she's probably having a hard time adjusting to losing her son. Even if that's not the case, being gracious is better than being bitter. Hopefully your fiance understands your feelings (you've talked to him, right?) and, as your future husband, I would hope that he would do everything he can to help ease your feelings. It may be that he needs to talk to his mother about where he stands and explain that you are the one whom he has chosen.
2006-10-31 10:59:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sorta went through the same thing with my future mother in law. She was as sweet as could be while we were dating, but then she went into freak out mode when she realized it was getting serious. Im sure it isn't anything about you. She probably thinks she is losing her son to another woman. I ultimately decided that I would be as nice as possible to her, and really show her my great qualities-the same qualities that her son fell in love with-and she could either absolutely love me, or hate herself for hating me. It worked! she is now happily planning our wedding! Good luck!
2006-10-31 09:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋