have you ever dated someone who is diagnosed so called "bi-polar" & "borderline personality"

Question

what was it like for you? for them? did the meds they were on help?
were they able to grow and participate in the relationship in ways that worked for you?
was there any down side not apparent at the beginning of the relationship but developed down the road?

( a close friend is considering such a relationship with a woman diagnosed so called "bi-polar" and "borderline personality" )

Answer 1

I did not personally but my sister-in-law did.
It is very hard to keep a relationship with someone who is bi-polar.
He did take his meds but sometimes when he didn't he was very "not himself". He actually seemed calmer when he was drinking. Staying drunk all the time however affected my sister in law and she became a heavy drinker. After the split up she sobered up but he still calls out of the blue and gets quite upset to hear how her life is going. Then he will be sweet as can be to her... one wrong saying and he is fuming again.

Answer 2

Well, bipolar is the easy one, relatively speaking (I'm bipolar, FWIW). I have been bipolar for 25+ years, and it has screwed up most every relationship I ever had and most of my jobs. But I have been married for 20 years and I am now on meds and in remission. So if the woman is doagnosed and taking her meds abnd they are working, then there's no reason for her to be any different to anyone else.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a harder one, though. There's no medication for it, particularly (although some doctors do use the bipolar meds). It's treated usually with Dialectic Behavioral Therapy.

Hey, evertyone's different.

But I question someone who wants to do this kind of analysis before starting a relationship. Did he run a credit check on her as well?

Answer 3

I dated a girl on and off, mostly on, for about a year, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She had some treatment in the past but she found it unsatisfactory and she resisted my suggestions and gentle pushes towards the doctor's office but eventually yielded and went. Mostly what I noticed was that some days she was very quiet, tired and just wanted to stay home and watch tv, then another day she would have an unlimited supply of energy and desire and interest to the point of being hyper-active. She started taking medicine but we broke up and I don't really know how it's working for her or if she's even still taking it. I would say her condition was no more than a moderate strain on our relationship, sometimes she would act inappropriately in public during one of her high moods, but that was all. Is she receiving any kind of treatment (highly recommended)?

Answer 4

i'm a bipolar woman. i do not have borderline personality disorder, or bpd, but i know people who do, and can talk about it.

i'm by no means a lost cause because i'm bipolar. actually, if anything, my disorder has made me a real fighter. i'm more creative, passionate, and spirited because i have to struggle wtih this than i would be otherwise. it is all what you make of it. you can let it get you or you can fight and win. it all depends on attitude.

as for having borderline, that means that someone is very emotionally raw and it is easy to hurt their feelings. bipolar disorder is a MOOD disorder, and bpd is a PERSONALITY disorder. that just is the way she handles her interactions with the world. she's more sensitive than your usual person. sometimes she may feel like hurting herself or like she is terrible (people have all kinds of different feelings), or feel like no one understands her, or may feel lucky in love and happy. these people really wear their hearts on their sleeves.

i wouldn't say to stay away from anyone because of a lable. all these diagnoses are are just that-lables. it is good of her to give a heads-up about her disorders, but if she didn't, would your friend have known any differently?

none of my boyfriends have ever once complained about my bipolarity or anything about it. they want to help when i'm down and are a bit concerned if i'm too up, but because of my medication and therapy i keep it even.

let this person be judged for her soul and spirit and who she is, not for some letters that may not mean ****.

Answer 5

I live with Bipolar Disorder and have been in 3 serious relationships that have failed as a result. The disorder can cause great distress among those afflicted and those living with them. Left untreated, bipolar disorder can be a disabling condition, with a high risk of death through suicide. However, if treated properly, it's a very manageable condition where one can live a healthy and productive lifestyle.

Essentially, the disorder lives differently from person to person. In my experience (before treatment), I would experience episodes of mania for long periods of time (2 - 3 months), followed by luls of bipolar depression for a similar timeframe.

Each relationship would always begin while in the manic phase of the disorder, where I was able to present myself as the stereotypical alpha male, the type of guy every girl wants, with the confidence to approach any girl and deliver on my confidence. It's a huge bluff, which I call "manic charm" which is incredibly hard to resist. The characteristics of thoughts feelings in manic episodes are ; elation, extreme optimism, rapid unstoppable flow of speech, racing thoughts/flights of ideas, agitation, poor judgment, recklessness or taking chances not normally taken, inordinate capacity for activity, difficulty sleeping or lesser need for sleep, tendency to be easily distracted (may constantly shift from one theme or endeavor to another), inability to concentrate, exuberant and flamboyant or colorful dress, authoritative manner, and tendency to believe they are in their best mental state.

Naturally my ex's where very attracted to these qualities and I was told I was the most intelligent, fun, outgoing, crazy/funny guy they've ever been with. Each of the three fell in love within the first 3 months (which is insane).

As the relationship progresses, it's only a matter of time till the ugly side came out, where in context of bipolar disorder, I experienced a mixed state, a condition during which symptoms of mania (or hypomania) and clinical depression occur simultaneously (for example, agitation, anxiety, fatigue, guilt, impulsiveness, insomnia, disturbances in appetite, irritability, morbid and/or suicidal ideation, panic, paranoia, psychosis, pressured speech, indecisiveness and rage).

These episodes would also last 2 -3 months and put an amazing strain on the relationship. I put each of them through hell, with verbal abuse, wrongful accusations and exposed them to uncontrolable rage. I've also been hospitalized twice because of overdoses where one of my ex's spent two days with me in the ICU (not fun). It was very confusing for my ex, because there was no explanation for where any of this came from and there was no way to explain it, because I had no idea I was bipolar and I never dwelled on it long enough to think there was something seriously wrong.

A good prognosis results from good treatment which, in turn, results from an accurate diagnosis. Because bipolar disorder continues to have a high rate of both underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis, it is often difficult for individuals with the illness to receive timely and competent treatment.

Bipolar disorder is a severely disabling medical condition. In fact, it is the 6th leading cause of disability in the world, according to the World Health Organization. However, with appropriate treatment, many individuals with bipolar disorder can live full and satisfying lives. Persons with bipolar disorder are likely to have periods of normal or near normal functioning between episodes.

Ultimately one's prognosis depends on many factors, which are, in fact, under the individual's control: the right medicines; the right dose of each; a very informed patient; a good working relationship with a competent medical doctor; a competent, supportive, and warm therapist; a supportive family or significant other; and a balanced lifestyle including a regulated stress level, regular exercise and regular sleep and wake times.

It took me a significant amount of therapy, including medication management and specialized psychotherapy, in order to function in a healthy relationship.

If this woman is educated about her condition and taking care of it properly through meds and psychotherapy (for a significant amount of time) and is inherintly happy because of this, then there is no reason why your friend shouldn't consider getting involved with her. If she's not addressing the condition properly, the chances of having a healthy relationship deteriorate.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Nope not worth it, gowin threw a divorce now cause of one. Course her meth use in highschool could have F#@$ed her brain up to. I Should of known better.

Answer 7

Don't save the world move on if they have that kind of issue

Life is not about settling you can do alot better

Answer 8

yes i am dating one right now...he has b.p....its very difficult and draining but if u love that person then its worth the effort...

Answer 9

why not