advice with my son, potty training?!?

Question

Hes 2 and a half, and have been advised in the past to wait til he appears ready. I just dont think that time is gonna come. He sees me and his dad on the toilet, and is interested, but i ask if he'd like to go on, and hes shouts no. I've asked him would he like to do a wee on the potty- still a very adament no! Have bought a duck style toilet seat, which he loved- until i placed it on the toilet, he then screamed and pulled it off- he went ballistic! Have bought "potty stories" which he also loves, but doesnt wish to copy! recently, i told him he would get a sticker if he sat on his potty without his nappy on. He was happy to do this once, but didn't do anything on the potty. He got the sticker, and i thought we were getting somewere, but he wont do it again. he now wants the sticker, but wants to miss out the potty bit! I really have tried everything i can think of. I dont push it, i always ask him calmly, but he just seems to have a fear of the toilet and potty! help

Answer 1

My thought is that he really isnt ready. My son was 3 at the end of August. I started bringing up the potty thing at about 2 1/2 also. Every time I wanted him to try to go on the potty (little potty or the real toilet) he would cry. Recently i started a part time job and he goes to a sitter for a few hours 3 days a week. It must have been seeing other kids his age going on the potty or maybe it was being told by someone else other than mommy and daddy that diapers are for babies but he has been in underwear for a week and half now. Only two "accidents". I also had a bag of cars and trucks (he absolutely loves them) that he could pick out of as his incentive. Now that he has the idea of peeing.. the bag of cars and trucks is for going #2. (He has major issues with bowel movements in OR out of the diaper lol). My older girls were both trained by the time they were 2 and a half. I have often heard that it takes longer to train boys anyways. They learn to be hard headed at an early age lol just kidding. Anyways.. maybe you should just put the potty away and out of site for a couple of weeks to a month and try again. But keep up with the stories and mentioning when you or daddy go potty about big kids using the big potty and not diapers.. Diapers are for babies.. LOL that just reminded me that one time while I was using the bathroom I asked him if he was a big boy? he said yes he was.. so i said good lets try and use the potty.. and he looked at me and said nah.. i'm a baby! LOL anyways it just goes to show that when they are ready they will do it.. they will find their own reasons... Don't lose hope.. It WILL happen.. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

Hi, I too have a son that we recently potty trained. We tried everything, stickers, treats, you name it. He wouldnt sit still for the life of me! Anyway, we started in September, (he will be 3 in December) and we took away diapers and did the pull up thing. Well, that didnt work either. So, by the beginning of October, I was getting frustrated and tired of cleaning up messes. I just happened to be looking for potty training ideas on the web, and came across a site that says "potty training in 3 days or your money back"! Yeah right! Well, I figured, I would try anything, and if it didnt work we would get back the money and try something else. So, we paid the 12 dollars and got the ebook and started with it the next day. Honest to God, the first day he had 12 accidents, the next day 3 and after that none. Now, it has been almost a month, and he has had maybe 4 accidents since we started! He wears only big boy undies and we dont even have to remind him to go anymore! He goes and tells us after and we still give him stickers to keep track. We have gone through over 100 stickers since! I would recommend the site to anyone! It is well worth it and if you have anymore children, you can keep it and do the same for them. The site is www.easypottytraining.com and it is great! Good luck!

Answer 3

Capable Girl's advice is the best I've seen here. To add my two bits worth: Totally back off for one month. Takes 3 weeks to make/break a habit, & with his stress reaction, give it that extra week.
Then, DO NOT ever ASK a child if they do not have the option of really deciding the matter, or you have just established a power struggle.
As an experienced pre-school teacher, I have potty trained so many kids it's not even funny.
Two things are critical #!) Keep it light hearted and 2-4 minutes. You may have to work your little one's time up from the 2 to the full 4. Gives his body time to relax on the toilet.
#2) As with naptime & everything else, they are constantly afraid of missing out on something more fun should they slow down & be still for even a bit. Counter this with books, and toy catalogues, and always the assurance that you will stay there with them, it's OK, they are not missing anything fun-the swingset, etc. is/will stilll be there, use humor ie." it (the swing) is not going to get up & run out of the yard while we're in here", etc. Anything to lighten the mood and dissasociate them from being stressed about this.
Kepp a cheerffully persistent attitude, and when they say they are done after 2 seconds, tell them that "I will let you know when you are done. Not very long to go now" ALWAYS encourage them that they are doing fine, and be the one in charge .ALWAYS reward them with an m&m. A parent taught me that & it's great. They always get one just for sitting. NO pressure to "go" either. Tell them they don't have to go, just to sit for a little bit so they get an m&m.But when they do pee, they get 2 m&m's, and 3 for pooping. After this is a well established habit-using the toilet- you can wean them off the m&m's prettty easily, sometimes by simply agreeing that you both forgot about it.
Take a calm, no-nonsense approach that this is simply what must be done now, no biggie, just another routine in the day.
And do praise them for being a big kid when they go.
Try to note when/how often they usually need to go, then head for the potty about 10 minutes before then, 5 if you can cut it that close.
That & stickers have never let me down, including the Summer I worked in someone's home and potty trained 4 toddlers at once! Just avoiding as many diaper changes was a motivator for me!
And of course, do stay with nap & bedtime diapers- it will be some time before their little brain signals to pee are able to wake them out of their sleep at that age.
Oh, and oftentimes the flushing away of their" creations" just plain weirds them out. Or the noise of the flushing, especially the loud toilets ar preschool and other public places..Some kids need to be assured not to worry, the toilet won't make any noise while they are in the restroom.
Wait to flush until they are around the corner-it's amazing how many kids for whom this is a hidden issue .After awhile, when they are more comfortable with the whole experience, they will ask or you can encourage them that it's OK if they want to pull the handle. Just do make sure that becomes a part of their training before you consider it done.
Also, many parents have used that suggestion of making no plans for the weekend but toilet training. They prefer to just get it over with, and once they've tried that way, they swear by it.
Good luck. you can do it, and so can your little one, just without the power struggle.

Answer 4

my son is 2.5 and he is fully potty trained and has been for about 3 months. What we did was took away the pull ups altogether. he had a few messes but he didn't like the way it felt. and then we gave him 1 skittle for peeing in the potty and 2 skittles for pooping in the potty. sounds like you and him need a potty training break. give it a few weeks and try again. we also bought my son a seat that goes on the toilet and let him decorate it with stickers and permanent markers. he was proud of his work. good luck and I'm sure he will do it on his own time.. keep you head up and keep smiling you on the right track:)

Answer 5

My best advice after raising three? Choose a three-day weekend. Talk it up for him in advance. "We're going to start using the big-boy potty all the time this weekend" Get him some big boy pants. On the first day, put the big boy pants on. Then every hour or so for the next two or three days (during the daytime), get excited and announce "We're going to potty now. Let's go!" Swoop him up or grab him by the hand. Let the excitement of the moment get hold of him. Literally scurry to the bathroom (as if he actually had the sudden urge to go). Put him on the seat and say "Let's go! Let's go to the bathroom! We'll come back and do it again in an (hour or two hours, whatever you think is best for him)! Yay for us! We're learnin' to potty!" Then, a M&M for completion of that trip, whether he potties or not. No lengthy stays, maybe just a three or four minutes. If no potty the first trip, say "We'll come back for next time, but good job trying!" (whether he really tried or not). Then, (this is the main trick here) do the exact same thing over and over every hour or two for the next two or three days. Let him wear his diapers at night, if you need to, but only big boy pants from here on out (announce that too). Stickers for each trip could work too. Believe me, soon he'll be waiting excitedly for each trip. It really works, and at age three, it'll work great. Good luck!

Answer 6

My son was exactly the same, and although this probably sounds awful, the way we did it was to take him in the garden (it was summer and he was 2 1/2) and asked if he'd like to wee on the ground....he absolutely loved the idea and spent the whole day weeing in the same spot. The next day I put the potty in that same spot, and hey presto, he started going in that too. The next day I moved the potty inside, and again, he started going in that....we stayed with the potty for a few weeks, and then moved onto the toilet. He was dry within about two months, and when he started nursery just after his third birthday, he was totally confident in going alone in the nursery toilets. I know it sounds an odd method, but it worked for us, and it might just be what you need to get your son to stop being scared of the toilet, and to start focusing on weeing out of his nappy.

Oh, just wanted to add, it took a while longer for him to stop wanting to poo in his nappy, as he was desperately scared of relaxing incase he fell down the toilet. He was about 3 1/2 before he actually went to poo on the toilet, but I think wee is the most important thing to conquer first anyway.

Answer 7

If you're in the Northern Hemisphere (ie, heading into winter) wait for the warmer days of spring, and let him run around the back garden with nothing on his bottom half. I did this with my son when he was 1 and a half. I showed him the potty and what it was for, but he didn't seem very interested - when he wanted to pee he did it on Daddy's tomato plants. Or potatoes, wherever. Indoors we continued with a nappy (diaper), obviously

With nothing on his lower half, he became more aware of what was going on, and got the idea that he could control where he did it, and within a couple of weeks he was trotting inside and asking for his potty.

I think you are right not to push it now, let it go for the winter (unless you're in Australia, in which case seize the spring months) and if no joy by Spring, try my suggestion, which incidentally, I got from Dr Spock's Book of Baby and Childcare, which was my bible 40 years ago !

Good Luck

Answer 8

I have a daughter who is just over two and she wont do potty. She sees me and her 7 yr old sister do it but is not interested. She sits on the potty for ages but when about to do it asks for her nappy. My 7 yr old was dry by the time she was 2 so every child is different. Give him time and he'll eventually get there. Good luck.

Answer 9

My nephew was the same - he just wasn't ready at that age. I think if you force him when he's so dead against it you might create a problem for him, you'd be better to wait a little while until he is more open to the idea, then it won't be such an emotional problem for him. 2 and a half is still very young after all - as long as he's completely out of nappies by the time he gets to nursery or reception I think it is fine.

Answer 10

My eldest son was quite the same in his attidude. Up until he was 2 1'2 but when he started toplay with boys his age who did go potty on thier own he was very interested in doing the potty ting. Be patient as he will get the hang of it. My eldest has now helped train his little brother 2 and he's four now. Things can change. Keep trying.