ever tell me about the things he saw in Iraq while he was a medic in the military (14 years of service). I think he saw some really terrible things over there - actually over his entire military career. He has nightmares about it but talks to me very little about it. Why won't he tell me about it? What should I do?
I just want him to be happy...
2006-10-31 07:31:10 · 12 answers · asked by emmyfair 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
To all of you who have offered kind answers and wisdom - thank you so much.
This is a very sensitive issue for me - I adore my husband. He is an amazing man whom I love very much. All I want to do is help him... So if you only have harsh words to offer, please pass this question by.
2006-10-31 08:35:35 · update #1
First off let me start by saying thank you. It's military wifes like you that make us Marines and Soliders realize what we're fighting for. Secondly, I've been in many engagements, I'm a Force Recon Marine and have seen a lot of things most of which I would rather forget. I have been in the military for 16 years...since before the first gulf war. He will eventually need professional help to deal with the trauma that he has sustained as a result of being a medic. Your job will be to be there for him throughout the nightmares and anger and guilt and all of the other feelings he will eventually go through. It will be a difficult time for both you and him but understand this...he will be able to get through it. Service and sacrifice are what being in the military is all about. Sometimes the causalities of war are not so easily seen but they are ever present. Love your husband, don't ask for specifics but be there for him when he is ready to talk about it. Give him loving hugs and warmth and let him know that you're here for him no matter what. When the time comes go with him to a counselor...listen and don't probe. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness that Freedom brings with it.
2006-10-31 09:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Simple fact...you will not understand. It's hard to live in those situations. You come home and if you didn't vent enough when you were out there, even if you thought you did, that stuff will visit you through out your life. It is no picnic. My friends and family ask me about things, but I find it difficult to be frank with them. Things that were experienced should never be brought up. Nightmares are common. I know that after living more than a year in that territory and then coming back and still reliving it at night, it would be difficult for me to relive it with someone else during the day.
It will not always be like this. Dreams are usually unresolved issues. His dreams will never be resolved. What's done is done. It will get better. He will learn how to cope.
Going on with your daily life will help him get back in the swing of things.
It's hard, but be tough.
Good Luck.
2006-10-31 16:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by Gilla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emmyfair:
You have been given many compassionate remarks about why your husband does not share with you the things he has seen as a Medic in Iraq. There really isn't more I could add but to say "Thank You" to your husband for his 14 years of service and sacrifice to our country. My family and I appreciate the good works that he, and the other members of the military, do on a day to day basis to keep our country safe and free. "Thank You" to you for being such a wonderful wife to him.
2006-10-31 19:47:32 · answer #3 · answered by Peedlepup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people do want to talk about every thing that happened but very slowly it's along process but it's a comforting
one.The night terrors are so unimaginably bad that to talk about it some times makes it that much scarier!Just keep in mined that maybe at some point he may need to talk just to ease it all off.
2006-10-31 16:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him. One day he may want to talk about what he witnessed, but until then don't push him. Comfort him when he has nightmares and simply be the loving wife that you obviously are. He'll appreciate that and it will help him heal
2006-10-31 15:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Support him!!!!!!!! I have been retired from the Army since 93 and my wife still doesn't even know about half of the deployments i was on...She has never heard about anything that happened in actual combat and she never will. Most people who have seen combat do not talk about it, even to each other. He is happier not exposing you to the things he has seen....
2006-10-31 15:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by SFC_Ollie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably will never want to talk about it very much. From personal experience, absolutely nothing will mean as much to him as a quiet supportive hand on his arm when you see that he is having a problem with it.
2006-10-31 17:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by tom l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Truth be told, he may never open up to you. My father was FMF (Navy Medic with Marines) during Viet Nam. 40 years later, and he still hasn't told us anything about what happened to him.
All you can do is encourage him to seek out PTSD cousneling.
2006-10-31 19:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need to know? What would it help? Do you think by him telling you the stories and him reliving them again would help him? Be there to support him if he does decide to talk about it but otherwise don't pressure him.
2006-10-31 15:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by usmcspouse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't press him on it. When he decides to open up (if), then be there to listen to him.
He could seek out counseling as well.
2006-10-31 15:35:58 · answer #10 · answered by DW 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋