Ok my last question didnt get across right. My husband left myself which I am pregnant due in just a few short weeks we never fought or anything until I told him I was pregnant again. We have a 4 year old daughter that he didn't want to see for almost 3 months. He left us in June. In May he put me in the hospital from hitting me in the stomach and making me bleed. He lives in GA with his grandparents and cousins a small 3 bedroom house. He doesn't allow our daughter to ride in his car because he said she will mess it up. He left us without any reason at all but we can still talk as friends. Our court date was cancelled but through our lawyers with the divorce I have agreed for him to get our daughter everyother weekend....Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and next year I get her on the holidays. I have agreed to a week visitation during the summer because he works and has no one to take care of our daughter there and says that work and his car are more important than our daughter.
2006-10-31 07:22:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
He wants two weeks during the summer but he hits our daughter I have pictures of hand prints that he has left on her. He pushes her if she gets in his way. He yells in her face and everything. She is only 4 years old and is afraid of her father. She has told my lawyer and his infront of us that she didn't want to go with her daddy that he was mean. She said she would go if mommy would go with her.
2006-10-31 07:28:58 · update #1
Okay apprently your not getting the picture either. Leave his sorry
***. And as for your daughter stop her from seen his sorry ***.
Girl you are putting this poor girl through hell. He already said his
work and his job is more improtant, so why is it that your still
wanting in in your life and sadly to say your daughters. Later on in the years she is going to have emotional distress because your
stupity, putting her in harms way. You are ready have the proof
what more do you want? Get the devorce fight for all custody
for the sake of your child. She stated that he is mean, the girl is stright out scared of him, listen to your daughter. You'll regret
it if she was to come home with another bruise. Leave him alone.
It would be different if he wanted to spend some qulity time with
her but he clearly doesn't. The guy only thinks about two things
and you, your daughter is not in the picture, Yes you guessed it
his JOB and his CAR. If your children in the future wish to see
him, that would be on them, for now get a restaining order agains his ***. I don't understand why young girls think if they share
a child they have to still be friend, **** no. He is abusive what
going to happen to this next child that you both brought in? I'll
tell you he is going to do the very same thing. Nothing is going to
change. Girl!! The guy sent you to the hospital doesn't that tell
you taht he was trying to kill the child that your carring, HELLO
YEAH!! What else. My younger sister was in a relationship with
2 of childrens, and he kicked her in the stomach, which she lost
her babie, due to his kick. Also he socked her in the nose and
broke her nose and knocked her out on concience. He did this
all behind our backs, but when he choked her at acarneval
in front of all kinds of people, I was there to have my say so.
I was so pissed off that I chocked him with one hand and told
him if he ever touches her again he would regret it. Well He
end up in prison and now. Till this day we have not seen or heard
from him again. I HATE guys that **** with girls like they were
a peace of rag. My I hit my son-in-law, not once but twice in his
face because he didn't want to think of my grand-daughter all
he was think about was buying himself some Weed. Well since
then he is a hard working guy and now he has two daughters to
take care of. What I said and did was a wake up call. So why don't you take the advice and leave his sorry ***. WAKE UP AND
SMELL THE COFFEE!!
2006-10-31 07:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think if your child is afraid and has expressed a desire to not be alone with him, that should certainly be honored. I think the lawyers should be informed and you should tell the lawyer that you want to respect the child's obvious fears. If she must spend time with daddy, I would want to go along to help her feel more comfortable.
I was expected to go see my own dangerous father when i was small and we were too afraid to say that we didn't want to be with him, so we went whenever he wanted and we just tried to stay out of trouble. I don't even remember spending that much time with him. I do remember being extremely relieved when he would not show and when we eventually (at 6 I think) didn't have to see him any more. I also remember being sick a lot during that time.
If you can protect her within the system, great - if not you have to do what my mother did and that is send the kids and pray for the best every minute they are away. You might want to learn about psychic protection techniques and visualization manifestation to help also.
Peace!
2006-10-31 07:37:45 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I am confused about your question... are you not wanting her to go that second week in the summer... if the things that you say are true then I would fight for no visitation. If your daughter tells the judge that she is afraid of him, it actually holds a lot of weight... judges do listen to the kids and their concerns.... or fight for supervised visits.... but again, I'm confused as to what you are asking.. if sounds like you have already agreed to all this visitation and are upset about the extra week in the summer... I guarantee you if it was my daughter, I wouldn't be agreeing to any visitation without a massive fight, if my ex dared to ever lay a hand on her abusively
2006-10-31 07:34:38 · answer #3 · answered by katjha2005 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you let that man alone with any child!? He's got major issues. He doesn't like kids, he beats women, and a car is more important than family.
1- Document everything he does wrong in a notebook with date/time.
2- Talk to your lawyer and fight for full custody. He's a danger to those kids.
3- See about getting supportive counseling for yourself. If a guy hit me and put me in the hospital, he's be in jail and would NEVER see his kids again. You need to be strong and not let his abuse wear your self esteem away. You deserve better!
2006-10-31 07:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Funchy 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to go back in front of the judge!!! as soon as possible the judge needs to see the pictures of the marks he as left on her.
you could also call child protective services, however from experience they might not do anything because there is a court order allowing him visitation, so your best bet is to see the judge with pictures! also to see a therapist that can talk to the child and report to the judge their findings. also if the papers allowing him visitation have not been signed don't sign them. you can also just not let her go but be aware in doing so that you are in contept of court, however when you go in front of the judge if you have good documentation showing why you refused his visitation it is unlikely that the contempt will be entertained.
2006-10-31 15:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by Larissa D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you allowing this guy to spend time with your child unsupervised????
He was abusive to you and now he is abusing her, and you are allowing it to happen. If you have a lawyer, file for an emergency court date to revoke his visitation or recommend that his visits are supervised! It is your responsibility to protect your little girl!!!
You said "he left us without any reason, but we still talk as friends"! WHAT!!!!!!! How can you consider a man who abuses you, abuses your child, and walks out on you any kind of a friend! You seriously need counceling!
I am not totally clear on what your question is, but I do know that you better step up as a mom and protect your child before it is too late!!
2006-10-31 07:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WOW.. that's some story, my heart goes out to you and your daughter.... You have to look and realize that your husband has violent problems... you need to ask yourself, do I want my daughter alone in his care? do I want to jeapordize the well being of my daughter?... i think not. Don't leave your daughter alone in his care, ask for supervised visits or nothing. I know it's hard because you want your daughter to see her father, but face it it's not safe!!..
No woman deserves to be treated like this by her husband, and definitley not her father. Leave, take your daughter, seek some counseling and move on. You can do better, for yourself, your daughter and your newborn!.. and I would consider pressing charges, and bringing this up in court.
2006-10-31 07:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, this is going to sound mean, and I don't intend for it to be, but why in the hell would you agree to letting your daughter be with a man who abuses her??? You have proof that he is doing it, you need to take it to the police and keep that psycho away from your babies! One time would be all it would take for him to kill your daughter or your baby, or YOU! And you would be just as guilty for not reporting it to the authorities! If he says his work and car are more important, than let him have them and keep those kids away from him! Men like that don't deserve any rights to their kids!
2006-10-31 07:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by momx4 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well i would get a restraining order against him. If you lawyer has pics of a bruised up child and has done nothing then go to child protection agency and they will do something legally. I would just go to cpa right away. They can stop his visitations. With his violent past he should have supervised visitation with his daughter.
2006-10-31 07:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by CHAEI 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, this is abuse. Take it from me.. I grew up with an abusive mother. It starts out small and it grows. My father never listened to me when I told him I was scared of my mother and things escelated. Kids are a pretty good judge of character. The older she gets and the more she voices her opinion, the more abusive he will become and it only takes one time for him to "snap" and you don't want that happening to your daughter. I lived with this every day of my life and this is scares that will never heal.. emotionaly and physically. Please do something and listen to your child!
2006-10-31 07:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋