Tough love?

Question

Have you ever needed to use this and did it work with your children, and did they understand what you were trying to do?

Answer 1

it works better than you think.

Answer 2

I think tough love does work, but you have to use it when it is most appropriate and not a tool you use tag lag.

If your child needs to learn a lesson (something really to give them an eye opener into what they are doing then go for it).

Make sure you are able to deal with the consequences of what may come from this and before using it, learn all the facts and be sure you can deal with what comes.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I am in the middle of it now and hoping it will turn out OK.
I get support from my other children, so at least I don't feel so bad about my decision. My heart hurts at times, but at least I am not feeling angry like I did before.
My son, I am sure, does not understand what I am doing right now. He just thinks I am mean and tries to use guilt to get to me, but he does the same thing to his brothers and sister, who have taken the same stance as I have.

This has been going on for 5 years and he is an adult.

I think you have to use your head over your heart in a tough-love situation.

Answer 4

Yes, sometimes that is what they need to learn some self-respect. My 19 year old son had graduated HS, and sat around all summer and did nothing about getting a job...I finally told him he had 90 days to get a job...even filled out some job applications for him (found them in the trash later)...I waited the 90 days...packed his stuff up, put it on the porch and gave him the number for the Salvation Army. He stayed there 90 days...got his act together, a job, a better car and is now a mature young man who thanked me for what I did.

Answer 5

Its simple message both reflects hope for the future and acknowledges the pain of trying to parent an out-of-control youngster.
does not work instant miracles. Rather it offers strategies and supports that break the cycle of parental helplessness often accompanying a child going out-of-control.
i am against it as i feel there are better ways to educate and discipline our kids, but i sure understand other parents using the technique.its used bydesperate parents who can no longer find a way of communicating with their wayward kids

Answer 6

Tough love-being cruel to be kind-reverse phsycology (correct spelling?),carrot and stick,(though not the stick so much nowadays!),they are all one and the same,and when used correctly,with explanation,can be a simple but effective tool in mum and dads box of parenting tricks even from an early age-the "formative years" as i like to say.I certainly had loads of carrot and even more stick over 35 years ago,it is only now that i appreciate the experience of it all-doesn't stop my a..rse from smarting still when i think of it though!!

Answer 7

Being the mother of 6. 5 boys and one girl. Boys ranging from 21 to 14 and one 15 year old girl. My oldest and my 19 year old. I did use this method. Hell, No they didn't understand. Me and my husband stuck to it and explained as we went, we got a BIG thank you from them once they graduated from high school. One is in the Air Force and he calls everyday telling me the stories he shares with his fellow officers and he brags about it and laughs. It will be okay believe me. Been there done that. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!

Answer 8

when u have tried everything else and they still seem to take the pi** then tough love is the only way to go. and it works like a dream, hard to implicate though as lets not forget, these are our little angels and being mean to them is just not in our nature, but surprisingly enuff it works great x

Answer 9

I've never used it, my kid is a baby, but my parents used it on me. I did not understand at the time why my parents were doing it but looking back understand it's because they love me. If used well it can be a effective tool.

Answer 10

You really need to be more specific about what you mean by 'Tough love'

Answer 11

Yes- You have to be cruel to be kind. I think kids today need tough love!!