is there anyhope left in this relationship?

Question

this has probably been heard many many MANY times but here it is again. i feel in love with someone over the internet. i meet her on a online game and first off it was nothing at all but it got deeper and deeper untill where im at now. she is 23 live in canada, know her for about 3 months. know what she likes, know what she looks like, heard her voice, she knows what i look like. she had some hard times and i helped get back what she lost, she doesnt notice i have or just covers it up. then i did somethings not so good, lieing and misunderstandings that lead to what was recognized as "stealing". ive tried explaining things to her but she doesnt want to talk much now. she talked to me the day before i posted this with interest and told me some things that were goin on with her life, nothing that was personal tho. this is where it is going to look bad to some. im 16 i live in another country, i lied and said i was 17 but i admitted it and i told her why i did, reason was because i thought she would start treating me different, and would think less of me. I do love her i know it is love because when she told me she just wanted me as a friend a week ago i crashed and my parents sent me to a hospital an hour away for a week, and my gut hurts ever since, unless she talks to me but it comes back later. ive thought of suicide. i stopped realizing nothing comes from it. i want her to tell her things but i dont know what to do. she was in love me before she admited it. i love her so much its almost sick, i look back and realized that. if you could give any words of wisedom, or any advice id greatly appreciate it.

just ganna say wow first off i realized something huge thats going to effect me forever. she was mad and alot had to do with me lieing and she said she couldnt believe me then it came to me. when i was in my last school class i was thinking why couldnt she and of things ive done then in my mind it just popped up "if i love her so much, i cant build a relationship on lies because when that lie is seen everything i do after it pretty much means nothing, all that comes from lieing is sadness and disappointment and i didnt want her to feel any of that because of me. to not do that i cant lie and never will to her again or anyone else. im not perfect but i can get closer to it.

Answer 1

Hmmm.....You shouldn't have lied. Lying hurts people, and it wouldn't hurt so badly to her if she didn't care in the first place. However, being sixteen in our country is entirely different than being 17! Someone her age cannot legally pursue or have a relationship in any way with a person your age or she will be viewed as a pedophile. Stay friends until you are of age, that will give time to your relationship...sounds like both of you have some work to do maturing. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

There are a lot of issues that you need to work through before you should think about a romantic relationship with this girl. Lying, theft, and "not good things" are exactly the things that destroy trust and could destroy chances of a relationship.
Concentrate on being just friends for now, and step back from the Internet for a while. Go out and do things that you enjoy, things you are good at, or things you would like to learn how to do. Also, try to develop closer friendships with the people you know in the real world. The internet distorts people because it is very easy to lie, to present a better version of yourself to people (as you have already experienced). Work on being honest and trustworthy with her, but in limited contact. Don't call or email or anything more than twice a week.
Love does not inspire suicide. If anything, it should cause you to desire life even more. hope it all works out for ya.

Answer 3

Given your age, you're probably new to the whole relationship thing. Online long-distance dating is darn difficult even for experienced daters. But the one thing you really need to work on is your honesty. You CANNOT have any kind of relationship if you've started it with lies. Have you come clean about everything with her? If not, you need to. Ask yourself why you feel you can't be honest with her: are you afraid of her reaction? If so, talk to her and let her know that's why you didn't tell the truth. But women don't react well to finding out that the person they've developed feelings for has lied to them, so don't be surprised if she's angry with you. Give her some time to cool down after you come clean with her and then talk about where you'd like this relationship to go. Perhaps it's time to visit her. Perhaps it's time to move on. Time will tell--this is a conversation the two of you need to have. And if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, don't fret. It's good experience to get under your belt. Now you know what to do and what not to do the next time you care for someone. And NO relationship--absolutely NO relationship--is worth even contemplating suicide. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

She is way too old for you, even if you were 17, she is too old. She could get into a lot of trouble, just by writing to you & talking to you. Move on. You are too young for this drama. You have the rest of your life for love & relationships. You will meet many women in the next 5 to 10 years. Enjoy them all...all women are beautiful. Also, a 23 yr. old woman shoulod not be interested in young men like yourself....she has a problem. Go to school, hang with your friends, have fun, go out with girls your own age, go to college & stay off the internet dating sites. Enjoy your teenage years!!

Answer 5

Why are you wasting your time with internet relationships. There are so many internet relationships that have never worked. Somebody posted a question in Yahoo Answers about how this friend of him got a russian wife from mail-order-bride, and now that woman has left him does not respect him etc. Don't bother with things that are out of reach. In my opinion, you should quite going after her and try to find a true love that you can touch, hug, and care for. She is too old anyways. You are very young right now and some people like myself like to hand out with older girls. But I never saw anything fruitfull and I would recommend that you forget her and hold grip of reality.

Answer 6

At 16 im sorry but Love shouldnt even be in your vocabulary. i know you think you love her because of the aches and pains but you should move on. A 23 year old and 16 year old have few things in common. When you get older the age gap isnt an issue but for now it is. I think you should go out and meet people your age.

Answer 7

First off she is quite a bit older, and if you contimplated suicde over her breaking up with you then, its not really love. I hate to say it. Because when you are in love with somebody, you want them to be happy no matter how bad it hurts you. But then again I could be wrong. You could love her, and that hurting feeling you feel is becase your scared of getting hurt by her. It's like a security blanket! Talk to her about how you feel, if that doesnt work, walk away!

Answer 8

You're very young, and she is an adult. So she may be afraid to get too involved right now since you're under the legal age limit. I don't know what country you're from, but people here go to prison for having relationships with people under age 18

Answer 9

I can't say you have no hope, because I don't have the right to say that, but I seriously don't think the relationship will work out between the two of you. Long-distance relationships aren't as strong

Answer 10

*sigh*. Don't commit suicide. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but you're awfully young, so these feelings you 'think' you feel might seem a lot worse than they actually are... Just take things a day at a time, and you'll start to feel better soon... I promise.

Good Luck.