My son is 21 months old and he is being at the daycare since 4 months old but lately he is acting different when I drop him off. The teacher told me that he is hitting other kids but when he is with us (mom, dad, relatives) he never act like that, on the contrary he is always giving affection to other kids, and he loves kids. Should I believe her?
I am afraid the new caregiver does not understand him. When we get to the daycare he doesn't want to go in or stay at class, he starts crying and giving tantrums. The caregiver told me that the reason he doesn’t want to stay is because they do not let him do what he wants, but neither do we… What should I do? Is the caregivers fault?
2006-10-31 06:26:53 · 16 answers · asked by Bloved 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You should tell the teachers you concerns and ask exactly how he acts after you are gone about 10-15 minutes. He should adjust by then. If they don't want to work with you and let you know exactly what is going on you may want to look into a new setting for him.
2006-10-31 06:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by usmcspouse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not always the caregivers fault. Sometimes this is the way the child is telling that he's tired of daycare. But also there is a flip side, Is the teacher mean to him? Does he prefer to go to another class. Sometimes teachers don't take the time to get to know the child and they just label them! This is a BAD thing! Because then your child gets mistreated! Pay attention to how she reacts when you/son walk in the room! Stick around and look thru the window when she's not paying attention. With some of the teachers that are not doing right, they will do it as soon as they think your not looking! Just be careful and pay close attention! Hopefully its just that he wants to go home with you! Good Luck! Hope you find out whats going on @ daycare! Although hitting and biting is normal for a 21month old.
2006-10-31 06:49:39 · answer #2 · answered by panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say its their fault but more that the child has learned what he can get away with at home and at school and he knows the difference. Children are often different at home than they are at school. Ask the caregiver to record the behavior. The time the behavior happens the circumstances and other things going on in the classroom at the time. There may be something that is setting your child off that the caregiver is not aware of. It could be another child is provoking him, he may be hungry or tired, it could be a number of things. Another thing to keep in mind is that environment is often the reason children act out. If the colors in the classroom are overstimulating or the teacher changed something in the routine it could cause the child to change behavior. Talk to his teacher about some of these options, they will be glad to explore some of these with you.
2006-10-31 15:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by rozepetal23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. I work in a daycare, and sometimes children dont want to leave mommy or daddy. It all depends on your childs situation. Has he just moved to a new room? If so, he could just need some time to get used to his new teacher. Also, things are always ALOT different at daycares. You may not let him do everything he wants, but at a daycare there are alot of children in the same room and there is more stuff that he cannot do....some kids go thru a stage where everything is "MINE" and if they dont have to share at home they dont want to at school, that could be why he was hitting...or maybe he got hit first and the teacher didnt see, One day at lunch (when it isnt naptime at daycare) go out there, a surprise visit, peek in the window to see what your child is doing, to see how he is doing.
Also, big thing here, TALK to your childs teacher, if there is something she needs to know about him, tell her. With 6 toddlers in a class room (thats how it is here anyway) there are some things the teacher is bound not to notice. And make sure if you have any questions ASK THEM. This is your child here, I personally get more concerned when a parent doesnt ask questions about their child and things that happen. It could just be a stage though, ive had kids go thru them when they just didnt want to be there.
2006-10-31 15:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is now a toddler. Toddlers are becoming little people and are testing limits. Perhaps after you drop him off you should observe his behavior without him seeing you. He probably is hitting other children because he does not have the words to tell them that he wants the toy or wants to be left alone. This is normal toddler behavior. You may ask his teacher to encourage him to use his words and to tell him "We do not hit we use our words" Your son does not behave like this at home because there are less children. You should definitely purchase a book on toddlers so you will know what to expect. You may also consider enrolling him in a teaching daycare center. (Just so you know I have been a toddler teacher for the past 15 years) I hope this helps.
2006-10-31 06:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by miss m. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you feel uncomfortable about your child or his or her behavior there is reason for concern. I would highly recommend as a first step to make it a point to check in on him early one day to check out his behavior and his enviroment. If you feel that the day care where he is going of course I would advise to seek alternate care for your child. But, you must remember at 21 months old your child learns different ways of getting his parents attention and tempertantrums are a part of it. Also at 21 months old they are expressing there emotions and it sounds like this may be the case too. Maybe if you keep taking him to the same center that he will see that Mommy will return and he will be assured that he is ok where he is. Sometimes even a toy or blanket from home with your scent can help.
2006-10-31 06:41:15 · answer #6 · answered by iamahotty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is at the terrible two's stage....so this behavior may be expected. he will have to follow the daycare rules. you ar another relative should make unannounced visits to the daycare to check on things. one of my daughters was 5 years old when a daycare teacher slammed her head into a wall, rupturing her eardrum...she is 15 today, and still has trouble with that ear. after that experience. .. i was very suspicious of all daycares. when my youngest was born, i had to work, and check outdaycares. for the first year, myself or someone made "frequent visits", the director knew of my past experience and encouraged it. have a meeting with the caregiver and director...if your gut tells you something is not right...believe it. good luck!
2006-10-31 06:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything new going on at home? Most of the time behavior problmes are due to a new addition, recent move, divorce, big fight between loved ones, change in routine.
Try having another caregiver drop him off at school. This could help.
2006-10-31 06:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by momoftwo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions. I am a mother and I was also a daycare teacher at one time. It is entirely possible that your son is just going through a phase. As a mother though, if you are not comfortable, you have every right to request a different teacher or to switch day cares.
2006-10-31 06:33:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your daycare have webcams that you can watch your child? If not maybe you would want to drop in without calling in the middle of the day to check up on them. If you are really worried think about switching daycares this is your child you can't replace him. Good luck
2006-10-31 06:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by elainecynthia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋