My fiance and I are getting married next year, and I made the mistake of telling some people around the work place. This one guy was thrilled and wanted to go so bad, so I told him ok. That was a mistake, because since then he has stabbed me in the back several times here at work.I took the high road and ignored his behavior but I no longer trust his character and do not want him at my wedding. How do you un-invite someone without being rude?
2006-10-31 06:23:17 · 29 answers · asked by ~I'mTheBest~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
BTW thought I should mention that I had these "save the date" magnets made and he came to get one from me when I was telling my co-workers about the wedding, so technically, he hasnt recieved an invitation, but in a way, he has...
2006-10-31 06:40:49 · update #1
I think you should weigh two things: 1) How much of an *** is he at work and 2) how much of an *** is he going to be at the wedding? If he is going to show up and ruin things then get rid of him no matter what. If he is going to show up, drop off a gift, have some champagne and leave, let it go. At this point you may just want to put up with him for one day (albeit an important day) than have a lot of crappy work days with a pissed off coworker. I don't know anyone who is absolutely thrilled with every person on the guest list.
If you don't want to be rude you will have to lie or be brutally honest. Being honest is not rude, it is just not going to be well received. Just tell him you had to axe people from the list and he is one of them. Tell him you will make it up to him later at the "after wedding party" for all the people who got axed that mysteriously never happens.
Lastly, when next year is the wedding? If you have about 6 months and this guy is not buying a plane ticket or making hotel reservations then you have every right in the world to adjust your guest list. As long as people don't find out at the last minute they can get over it and won't feel like they got shafted.
2006-10-31 06:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by SL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... Quit your job, get a new one, and by the time your wedding rolls around, he probably won't even remember you. Orrr you could devise a plan to get him fired lol... j/k I would just not say anything for a while and see what he does. If he is still insistent on coming, I would sit him down and confront him about what he has stabbed you in the back about, and tell him that you not only don't appreciate the way he has stabbed you in the back, but you also don't want someone like that at your wedding. Let him know that your wedding is only open to people who love and care about you and your fiance, your true friends... and that you would love to have him at your wedding, but his character has displayed that he is definitely NOT a true friend... So, that's just me though, I am a confrontational person.
Remember, it's YOUR wedding! I just had the same problem with a girl who I thought was going to be my bridesmaid... But I just thought you know what, this is MY wedding, I am not spending money and stressing out for people who aren't even my friends... So anyway, it's YOUR day, if him being there is going to ruin it, don't let it happen!
From one bride to another..
2006-10-31 06:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by DanielleJane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that your best option would be to tell him that you've over-extended the guest list and that you and your fiance are having to eliminate non-family invitees (or some other reason, related to a family issue). I have an acquaintance that invited two of our co-workers (guys) to her wedding in a similar "work-place sort of way". She managed to UNinvite the guys by simply telling them: oh you know how I asked you if you could come to my wedding? Well, I'm sorry but you can't come now -- we don't have room with all of my family coming in from out of the country. The guys were fine with it.
2006-10-31 06:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by Shibi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't send him an invitation you are in the clear. When it comes time to send out the invites and he mentions that he didn't get one, just tell him that waaaay too many people ended up being able to come so you had to cut back a little. I did that to a few people before my wedding and it turned out ok...
2006-10-31 06:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to un-invite someone without being rude.
But, have you REALLY even invited him? It sounds like you have not even finalized your plans. If you have not told him the date, then you have not invited him.
Keep your plans under your hat from now on until you're really ready to send out invitations. Friendships change over the course of a year, and you don't want to paint yourself into a corner by verbally inviting people who you will later regret inviting.
2006-10-31 06:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can simply tell him the guest list filled up and there was no more room. I had an ex-friend who, from the moment she was engaged, told me to plan for her wedding. Her bridal shower came and went - no invitation. I never got an invite to the wedding and never heard from the girl again - we had been friends for 3 years. I have no idea what happened - my best friend, who was also her friend, didn't get invited either. We think it was a conspiracy by her fiancee - who didn't like either one of us because we were single party girls and thought we were a bad influence on his girl. Oh well!
But you are under no means obligated to invite him. He sounds like too much of a jerk anyway. ON the flipside, if you do invite him, you can ignore him all night and you'll get money from him - kinda cool. :)
2006-10-31 06:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't un-invite somebody without being rude.
If it's soooooo important to you that he doesn't come, and you don't mind looking like a jerk, go ahead and tell him he can't come. Otherwise, continue on the "high road" and let him come.
Personally, I think you should be thinking about more important things on your wedding day. Ten years from now you probably won't even remember whether or not he came.
2006-10-31 06:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by ez_cheez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not getting married until next year. Just don't send him an invitation. Say you have to limit the number of invites due to money problems and tell him you're sorry.
A spoken invitation isn't the same as a paper invitation.
2006-10-31 06:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by momoftwo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he did something that made you not respect him, then you need to tell him. Regardless of your question about the wedding invite. There's no other way than to confront it head on - without looking like the bad guy, that is.
2006-10-31 06:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by sjrae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that only "close" family and friends with invitations are invited to the wedding. He is probably coming to be nosey and to continue to stab you in the back.
2006-10-31 14:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋