Help me, Iam so frustrated with my two year old right now!!!!?

Question

She is having a trantrum and crying fit, because I wont let her have her my little pony chewy candy. She wont eat her cereal, she only wants thae damn candy.She is on time out twice already this morning. my nerves are shot. she needs to eat something. She is the type of child who throws tantrums and wont share for anything! I try really hard to change this but nothing works. i know shes two, but she is real bad. why cant she be a good kid like others i have seen. i was NOT like this when i was a child. please help?

oh ya spanking does not help!, she is in her crib screaming.

Thanks you guys.. she for now has settled down, but it took some milk(which Im trying to cut her back from so much-to normal amount a day). I don eat candy and certainly would not eat in front of her and not offer. duh
she is eating crackers right now, wtching her li mermaid dvd.

my daughter is very smart and knows her colors, knows 21 asl signs, and farm animal sounds, counts too.

Answer 1

My kids are wild too. At 2 it's hard because if time out or spanking doesn't work it's even harder. I know you're tires, I've been thought it with my son. My daughter's not 2 yet, but she throws fits. I just let her lay where she is and act like I don't see her or go into the other room. I don't know if your a stay at home mom or if she's an only child, but if she is daycare or a playgroup could help, it did with my son. I put him in a daycare that was run by people I knew and trusted at 20 months. He learned a schedual and how to deal with other kids and he calme ddown a little. I just started my daughter in one and she's starting to calm down. They learn that they have to share because thy're not the only kid areound and they're better prepared when it's time to go to school. I don't know how to help with the eating thing because my kids don't pass up a meal unless their sick. Maybe if you tell her she can have the candy if she eats all her food it will help.

I know you're tired, I hope something works.

Answer 2

#1. You are obviously a caring, loving mom to come here and look for answers.
#2. Think of it like a toddler does: Hmmm....candy or cereal? Hmm...go to sleep or climb the curtains? OF COURSE SHE WANTS THE CANDY! She is....a toddler! It is not a question of good or bad. It is a question of temperament and teaching.
#3. A suggestion: Can you teach her that a "treat" is chopped apples, yogurt or something else so that if you do give her something besides cereal, it will still be somewhat healthy for her instead of junk food?
#4 Be consistent. If you said cereal and no candy, DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE TANTRUMS! You can't make her eat what you offer but don't give in to the candy. It only reinforces the fact that it will work.
#5 Tantrums are perfectly normal for a two-year old. It is part of the growing process to learn to be more independent. Studies have also shown that children that are more willful tend to be the most intelligent. If you think about that, it makes perfect sense. They know what they want, are passionate about getting it and try to devise ways to succeed. Sounds like the foundation for an intelligent little girl.
#6 Her temperament and personality probably wouldn't be like you when you were a child. She is a different person.
#7 As the mother of a two-year old "spirited" boy, my prayers are with you. Remember, this too shall pass and one day we will laugh about our "spirited" children. Maybe not any day soon, but one day. Okay...maybe we'll just be glad to get through it in one piece...lol.

Answer 3

Whenever she starts throwing a fit just walk away from her, once she sees you're not paying any attention to her when she does this she'll stop.If she hadn't seen the candy she wouldn't of wanted it put it where she can't see it. The child will eat when's she's hungry, she'll tell you when she is and that bowl of cereal will look real good to her then. You need to take three deep breathes and walk it off even if it's just walking around the house or apt, give yourself a five min. time out..Don't compare your child to other children she has her own individuality, just as you do. Pay more attention to her, play games with her: hide & seek, try and keep her calm by reading a story to her and hold her in your lap as you read.Love and attention those are the two most important things you can give any child. I'll pray for you both..

Answer 4

If she doesn't want to eat the food set before her then she doesn't get any. If she say she is hungry tell her what she can have to eat. I a would put the candy away and definetly not let her have it, even if she does eat all her food.

Leave her in her crib, better she screams in there then you getting frustrated with her outside of it. Let her scream it out, maybe she will fall asleep and wake up in a better mood. I do this with my son when he starts tantrum, he will scream for a while then fall aslep and wake up a happier boy. Sleepy kids throw bigger fits.

Answer 5

First off....She isn't good or bad....it's her BEHAVIOR that is bad or unacceptable. Please remember to label the behavior, if you must, and NOT the child.

Try hard to be calm, patient and consistent with her. "Cereal is for breakfast, not candy." Repeat it calmly. You may have to go through this a million times with some kids before it sinks in. Just be consistent!

You could have her help you put the candy in a "special place where no one else can have it" so that it will be there for her later today.

Try not to overuse the word "no" but instead find other ways to word things and save "NO" for the biggies.

Help her learn to commuicate without screaming and crying and having fits. Name her emotions for her so she'll learn to do the same. "You're angry/disappointed that mom said no candy. That's the rule. You CAN have the candy after lunch" or something similar.

Answer 6

Calm down mommy. My son does the same thing and he just turned 2. He didn't used to behave that way. Whenever he throws tantrums, I merely leave him where he falls out, and walk out of the room. When he says he is hungry, I give him the choice between two foods that are appropriate for him to eat at that time. If he asks for something that he cannot have. I simply tell him that he will have to wait until another time to get it.

Sometimes that sparks him to throw another tantrum, and again I'll leave the room. My little one has gotten so bad at times that he will throw things out of frustration. Time outs work for him, in some situations, but not when it comes to food.

Answer 7

how do u know if u was not like that at 2 years old. can u remember? memories have a way of getting distorted.

anyways maybe u need to take a time out. how about getting someone to watch her for a while and go out and wallk or jog or sleep or do nothing but stare at the wall. u sound really stressed out, after relaxing u may come back with a different mind set and so will she.
pick your battles if she won't eat her cereal than tell her to go play, but don't give in to the candy. she will eat when she is hungry.

Answer 8

Ignore her. When she is hungary she will let you know. I don't think giving a two year old candy is a good idea, but she is your child. This is the time you should get her started with good eating habits and introducing fruits / veggies and this sort of stuff. Kids her age are more opt to try different foods rather than older children. When she starts her little fits, just ignore her...simply tell her when you want your cereal I will give it to you, but you need to stop crying and walk away! Don't give in, she is testing you to see how far she can get...but if you give in, she will learn quickly if I cry I get my way!

Answer 9

Set some crackers out for her - tell her she has 20 minutes to eat them and if she doesn't eat them than take them away. She won't starve by not eating one day - she needs to learn that she eats when you feed her and she eats what you feed her. Don't let her throw her fit and then decide she's ready to eat. Let her throw her tantrum while you read a book or flip through a magazine. Try to get your mind off her tantrum.

Answer 10

I know this does not make sense, but give yourself a 'time-out'!

Take a break, put her somewhere safe (crib, play-pen, floor w/no access to dangerous things). Then lock yourself in the bathroom with a radio for 5 minutes and drown out any frustration. As a toddler, she will sense that you are frustrated and it will add to her already irritable mood. My daughter does the same thing, she is 2 1/2. BUT kids out grow these things eventually.

My daughter's nickname is 'the little witch'. I assume that when she is a teenager the 'w' will be replace with a 'b', but I'll just have to seen how much she changes. At this age, she is not a bad kid. She may be high-strung, she may be high-maintenance, she may have a bad attitude, but this is part of the territory. My little girl, head-butts, pounds her head on the floor when she doesn't get her way and bits her brother when he takes her down from trying to dance on the coffee table.
It's insane! It's chaos!! It's having a toddler!!!
Good luck!