At a party where there was drinking involved, my friend (15 at the time) and I (18 at the time) were dared to make out. A year later when her parents found out (btw...might I add they are UBER Christians) issued a restraining order against me and threatened to press charges. Do you think they are justified in their actions?
2006-10-31 05:31:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Might I add... an 18 year old GIRL
2006-10-31 06:28:15 · update #1
No not if you and her was both willing to preform the dare. Her parents sound crazy.
2006-10-31 05:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally, yes. An 18 year old for purposes of sexual relations is considered an adult. When an 18 year old (in most states) has any type of sexual contact with a minor, it can be considered a crime, and the 18-year old could certanly be charged, and possibly sent to jail.
The fact that it was a dare, the fact that there was alcohol around doesn't dismiss the fact that a legal adult was intimate with a minor. You're lucky that worse than a restraining order didn't happen.
2006-10-31 05:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I belive some states have special provisions that have execeptions to statutory rape laws, when the older person is within a couple years, (that is, within a very conservative dating age range)
legally I think its as said, in most cases its still questionable. ... but likely less signifigant than the drinking in the given circumstances.
morally I see no problem with it. theres a severe difference between a 40 year old taking advantage of a 15 year old, and a 18 year old and a 15 year old making out, or whatever.
2006-10-31 05:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As Christian parents I am sure there are many things to account for here that would cause any parent to be alarmed. Everyone has touched on the fact that a person who is 18 (considered an adult and obviously of legal consent) making out with a 15 yr old (who is not of legal consent and is considered a juvenile) is a crime. The fact that there was drinking involved which means TWO people were under age with alcohol, and as parents I am sure there was the thought that there was more pressure from the 18yr old on the 15 yr old to do things than vice versa. A third thing, which may come as an issue with any parent whether Christian or not is the fact that you were both women. I could be wrong, and I haven't seen anyone touch on it here so either they are trying to ignore it, didn't catch it or assume it was between an 18 yr old boy and a 15 yr old girl as one person openly assumed it was. But looking at your Name, Avatar and profile I am going to assume you are female which means this involved and 18 yr old female kissing a 15 yr old female at a party where alcohol was involved. So from a parents stand-point, especially a Christian parents stand-point can you honestly say they were over reacting?
The problem I see here as I do other places on this board is people have their blinders on far to often. To the person who asks the question, I would simply say put yourself in the shoes of the parent. The one duty I see of all responsible parents, no matter what their beliefs are, besides loving their child unconditionally is to protect their child, especially to protect their child's innocence. And even as friends do we not also consider it our job and our duty to protect our friends, and in doing that does that not include protecting them from ourselves sometimes.
What I see here from a parents perspective is that you, who were supposed to be her best friend and protect her have become the very thing that parents try to protect their kids from. Is it realistic to protect our children? Probably not, given the access kids have today to information, etc. it definitely makes a parent's job harder, but it won't stop them from trying. When something like this happens a parent will do whatever they feel is necessary to keep it from happening again, no matter if their efforts are successful or not or even extreme. Ask yourself, if that was your daughter at 15 and you found this out, what would you do? It may be time to walk a mile in another person's shoes and stop looking at the world through your eyes only. Do I see anything morally wrong here? absolutely, and for someone to say different then I think they may need to take a deeper look into the situation. I am sure people will make the argument that no one was hurt, or that the age difference of 3 yrs is not the same as say 30 yrs., and so on and so forth, but this is the difference between most moral Christians and moral non-believers. The idea that morals are relative. For a Christian they are anything but relative. They are in fact black and white. There is no justification. What's wrong is wrong. It's what's known as dichotomy. For most other "moral" believing people those morals are relative and subjective. Another words most people believe it is wrong to steal and lie, but the difference is that people whose morals are subjective and relative will find situations and reasons where it is ok. They will find means to justify their actions. "It's wrong to lie and steal, but if that lie keeps someone from getting hurt, or if I steal for survival then its ok."
That's just $.02, which you can do with what you like. If you asked the question because you wanted to know then there is one perspective, but if you asked it just to get people to side with you then I am sure you will get plenty of that.
2006-10-31 07:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by Bruce Leroy - The Last Dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their daughter was a minor.
Also, it looks as though drinks were served to a minor. That in itself, apart from the "making out" , is serious.
I can understand why the parents would be concerned, christian or not.
Whether they were justified in having a restraining order issued against you, depends on what your behaviour has been like since then.
2006-10-31 05:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not so sure it was the making out that freaked out the parents, if I had to guess I'd say it was the combination of their daughter (who couldnt drive, vote or smoke at the time) being drunk (illegal) in the company of people who were 18 (while she was a minor) and not being where she told them she would be (most likely). so yeah, they could be justified in being upset that their preteen daughter lied to them about where she would be, would be doing, and who with. C'mon, they found her in the midst of 3 different illegal acts. Any parent would have been freaked out.
2006-10-31 05:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by kigerjane 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if that were MY daughter, drinking, and making out with 18 year old boy I'd make sure that 13 year old boy paid for it!
However, if I were that 15 year old girl, I wouldnt know any better and probably hate my parents for it.
2006-10-31 05:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in the wrong catagory, you want Law and enforcement.
Yes, a 18 can and should get in trouble for "making out" with a 15 year old.
That's why there is a law against it.
2006-10-31 05:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by TeeM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15 your friend is considered a minor and its crimanal to make out with a minor.
2006-10-31 05:40:27 · answer #9 · answered by Vanilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be glad they didn't get you prosecuted, so you'd be a registered sex offender.
Stay away from that friend for the next couple of years. Sorry.
2006-10-31 06:16:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋