My husband and I went away for the weekend to have some time to our selves. My sister wanted to stay with our kids so she could spend some time with them. I have a on-line casino game on my laptop, where I play for real money. I deposited $100.00 and had it up to a little over $2800. My sister asked me if she could play. And I told her yes, BUT if she started to lose don't lose stop when she was down $200. She kept playing and lost all of the $2800. I got mad and chewed her butt out over it. But My husband thinks she should pay me back for what she lost. I know she has had a hard time this year went through a divorce (Her Choice) And her ex has a new wife and a baby on the way, she is really upset about that. We also lost our Grandma just this month. I feel bad for what she has been through. I did tell her she could play but I also set a limit. She is 32 and old enough to know what she is doing. And is pulling dumb stuff alot lately. What would you do??? I am tired of letting her slide
2006-10-31 05:19:59 · 20 answers · asked by Kali_girl825 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She also did not tell me about it. I found out on my own last night when I went to play.
2006-10-31 05:20:46 · update #1
I think your sister was wrong for what she did. She violated your trust.I understand that she has a lot on her plate, but she was wrong. I think she knew she was wrong that's why she didn't tell you. What if that was your mortgage,money, or your family vacation money? She should apologize and repay you $2600.00. She should not take advantage of you. Your her sister and sounds like you have been there for her through her rough times. As my mom tells me She should scratch her butt and get over the divorce thing. Its done. Tell her to grow up and get on with her life. ( I two went through a divorce) I am 34. I didn't mistreat anyone while I was going through. As for you, continue to be her sister, love her with all that you have.If she does not apologize and offer to repay you then you should not give her the opportunity to hurt you again. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-31 06:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by Grown Lady 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is right. No matter how hard she has it, there is no excuse for gambling away money that wasn't hers. Tell her you want the money back (minus the $200 you told her she could loose) and set up a payment plan where she can pay what she can afford each month. Get the agreement in writing so that you have leverage if she tries to back out.
If she's unwilling to do this, then make some threats. She's a grown women so she needs to get over whatever pity party she has been throwing herself since her divorce. Sorry, it's harsh, but it's true. I understand that a divorce is hard to go through, and knowing that he's happy with someone new doesn't make things easier. But it doesn't mean that she gets to go back to behaving like a child with little though to her actions and the consequences of them.
And my condolences on the loss of your grandmother.
2006-10-31 13:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should pay you back the entire amount of $2800. You said she could play with just $200 that is like borrowing the money from you to play. She was completely wrong for going over your set limit. It is even worse because she didn't have the guts to tell you that she lost all of your winnings. I wouldn't trust her again on my computer. I would make her pay back the entire amount. Tell her she will have to pay back the money she used without your permission. Make a loan contract, for her to pay you back in weekly payments. If she misses a payment, you will add an additional late charge. She had stolen the money from you to play the game and you are considering it as money she borrowed since she is a relative. Have her sign the contract and if she refuses, ask her if she would rather settle this is court or file charges against her for theft. Then I am sure she would rather sign the contract than go to jail for theft.
2006-10-31 13:52:56 · answer #3 · answered by Old_Brat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know she is having a hard time and yet you see the need to imply things are going badly through her own fault (hence the reason you told us the divorce was her choice) do you really feel sorry for her or are you in a way glad to see her world falling apart. Have a heart and forgive her, sometimes when life is tough you could do without others coming down on you.
2006-10-31 13:25:57 · answer #4 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow! How inconsiderate! No matter how rough her life has been lately, It is because of her own choices, and you can't always feel sorry for her. Like you said "she is old enough to know what she is doing." She should indeed, pay you back the money and you shouldn't feel bad asking for it. She demonstrated a complete lack of consideration and respect for you, in loosing all your money. Especially without telling you she had done so. (I would be upset too!) Perhaps she needs some counsling for the failure of her marraige, her ex- and his new life, and the loss of your grandmother. She could be suffering from depression and It sounds like she is loosing control of herself and or life. If you wanted to recover your money, you should check your state laws about online gambling, and your rights and responsibilities. Good luck with this issue, It is so hard to know what to do when some one we love treats us bad!
2006-10-31 14:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by herbestgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off I hate to hear about the lost of you alls grandmother. Sorry to hear about her divorce. Sooo how long are you going to play sympathy to all of her problems. She can use that as a crutch the rest of her life. I believe she really didn't intend to lose all of your money. I believe she got down to the lowest terms and she really wanted to win your money back. Instead of stopping she pushed forward and ended up losing it all. Of course she didn't tell you she felt bad as hell already. I think you should just let it go and chalk it up as a lesson learned not only on her part , but on your part too. Next time let her bring her own money to the games. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!
2006-10-31 13:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You told her she could play with your money, she had no self control and spent it all. Sorry, next time dont let her play
Sometimes you have got to be the one who says NO, we have had to do it before ... everyone is mad for a while but eventually they get over it and YOU ARE NOT OUT OF POCKET
You can try ask for the money back but I doubt you will get it. Its a good lesson to learn, painful but good.
2006-10-31 13:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister is having serious emotional issues, i.e. the divorce, wrong choices, gambling, etc. I would let her know that you love her, but that you aren't going to let it slide this time. Sometimes our loved ones, or even us, need to have a boundary, just like we did as kids, and it could be she's looking for that boundary.
2006-10-31 13:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by Alicia L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep sorry to say even though she has been through a hard time she is certainly old enought o stop when asked to do so.If you and your hubby have lots of money she probably doesnt feel as bad as she would if you didnt.Yes ask her to repay the money or put passwords and tell her no so next time this cant happen.
2006-10-31 13:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by mygodiam28 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister put me in a somewhat similar situation after borrowing over $4,000.00. Anyway, make her pay it back! Her life may be crappy right now, but she STOLE your money! You deserve it back. And don't do what I did, which was let my sister make payments. Make her get a loan if she has to, but make her pay it back all at once. My sister is STILL paying me back almost 4 years later.
2006-10-31 13:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋