I am 23 now and my sister is 18 but during our childhood and still to this day she is favored way more. She is favored more financially, and everything she does with her life they love but me completely opposite. I have had to support myself solely since 16 and they hate every decision I make for my life..and they aren't all bad decisions. I mean they hate my career(Im an accountant), they hate my fiance(he's great)and they think I had my daughter to young(just had her a few months ago) ( I thought only I saw it but other family members agree) How to confront parents on this? It hurts and is unfair but I dont know the best way to say it. I mean its not like Im a screw up so why such negativity to me. ( also forgot to mention when I say parents its my biological dad and stepmom, and my sister is their biological daughter.)
HELP! Feelings are so hurt!
2006-10-31 05:08:30 · 11 answers · asked by Jewelz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I dont resent my sis but I greatly resent my parents cuz even though I am stronger for it..I have struggled for many years to survive on my own.
2006-10-31 05:55:51 · update #1
First put some space and time between you and them. Go about your life and know that they are there in the back ground but don't make them a focus of your life. Let them come around when they are ready. IF they should ask why the distance, tell them in a kind way that you have experienced hurt by feeling slighted. Of course they will most likely deny it, as most parents don't realize they are showing favortism. Still, be kind to them. Give them a chance to make amends. If they do not, be prepared to live your life content to know that you have other great things in your life to make you complete. It will make you a better mom to your little one. God bless you dear.
2006-10-31 05:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Catie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate it for you because I have so been there. It is not an easy thing and it never seems to go away. My brother and I had this thing for years because he was so favored and it irked me allot. Now it seems when we get together and start drinking it never fails that I end up crying thinking about some past thing. It is so silly at our age still fussing over that stuff but it does hurt and the hurt never seems to go away. My bro is 31 and I am34. I was daddy's lil girl until daddy got his boy! Try to hang in there. It may never change but eventually you just decide to love these people with their faults...lord knows we all them....also when you have children of your own try so hard not to repeat the same thing. I am very careful with all 4 boys that everything is very equal. Including my love for them!
2006-10-31 14:05:03 · answer #2 · answered by bbmk333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hurtful situation. I was the 'favored' child in a family of five. I couldn't do anything about it, and my siblings hate me for it today - they hold it against me, and resent me for it, so it has hurt me, as well.
I don't know why this is, but I think it's true that all parents have a favorite and the wisest ones do what they can to make sure no one senses that. I'm sorry that you have to experience this, but please try not to resent your younger sister for something that, really, isn't her fault.
2006-10-31 13:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its probubly you're step mom's fault. She obvioulsy favors her own daughter over you, and your dad followed her like a puppy. I also lived in a home where i was the un favored one. Becuase of that i did many suicide attempts, ran away from home a couple of times, cut my self lots of times, started smoking, i hope you didn't do that. People like us just have to lbe stronger, its not fair but you have to choose if you will be stronger or just cry about it. i choose to be stronger and now i can still have a sort of loving relationship with my dad
2006-10-31 13:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel.My brother who passed away in march was the one they stuck up for,gave loads of money and forgiveness.I wrote a poem about it even.It was called "Tainted."Everything was tainted in the way he was most important.Just so you know,my brother died without warning so I'm not whining about a sick person getting all the attention.It hurts and I don't know how to help you.If KC was here he would still get the spoils of my parents.My x-husband is the only child of his parents combined.It has caused anger on his brothers and sisters,they let him get away with a lot.Know you are important and that you have your own little family that you can love and loves you back.
2006-10-31 13:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to your father and stepmom. you are 23 years old and are old enough to live your life the way you want without having to answer to them, besides they should support your decisions anyway because you are family. let them know how this makes you feel and if it continues then stay away from them for awhile maybe they will get the point.
2006-10-31 13:15:26 · answer #6 · answered by S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came from a family of 8 kids , my father had his favorites and my mother had her favorites , and I wasn't any of them , yes I felt left out and unwanted , even to this day , it seem no matter what I did my parents never cared or never said good job ...but I don't hate anybody because of that....
2006-10-31 13:18:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are hunni, because she is the daughter of ur stepmom, it's likely that it's more the stepmother's fault guilting ur dad into thinking that their daughter is more important. it's called....the Cinderella theory. Do something about it...like talk to ur dad privately about it. That way, you may be able to tell if its her or if ur dads a space case too.
2006-10-31 13:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by sapphiredreams_69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them down and tell them how much you love them and that they are hurting you maybe without knowing and explain your sadness, your thoughts try and be open and prepare what you want to say before hand,
sooner better then later.
2006-10-31 13:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you just answered your own question. She is their biological daughter....although it is wrong, it happens. Tell them to stop treating you like that. You have to teach them how to treat you or it will continue.
2006-10-31 13:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by Smiles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋