How do I tell my fiance politely that I will nOT sign a pre-nuptual agreement?

Question

He wants to protect all that he will "inherit" from his family.

We are both 20 years old, and I find it absurd to sign pre-nups at our age when our only assets are our cars.

Any suggestions! please!

My Mother-In-Law is the one behind the scenes....demanding her son to get me to sign the pre-nup.

It's insulting, really

he never wants to discuss the issue.

just thought i'd add that tid bit

Answer 1

Return the ring and say "bye-bye".

Answer 2

Very delicate situation. I guess it really depends on who wants the pre-nup, him or his parents. Either way it is not going to be easy. I guess a good question is, how long have you known about the money that he stands to inherit? If you have known about it for a long period of time, even before the engagement, then I can understand why he/they want one signed. If you only recently found out about it, then I don't think it is a justified request. What you should do it sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him that you understand why anyone would want to protect their future finances, but you love him for him not his money. If he still feels the need for a pre-nup, most pre-nups have a clause put in there that states something to the effect that his inheritance is his, but all things acquired during marriage will be split in case of divorce. Tell him if he is so damned worried about his money, that the inheritance can go into a separate account that is only in his name, and that your "mutual" money will be in a joint account. If he can't accept those terms, then I don't know if he is really worth holding onto, sorry to say.

Answer 3

How do I tell my fiance politely that I will nOT sign a pre-nuptual agreement? you sit him down and have a talk about how you feel and how it is wrong to have to sign a pre nup over very little, but when things heat up how you want to take all his assets and stuff from him in a divorse. stop and think about it. it can protect you too. the divosre rate in the world is very high and that is not including couples who just live togethere and have no formal break up in regards to the courts. he is not being stupid he just wants to protect himself from future losses if it comes to that. it is not dumb to do it when so many end up in the toilet. it's why do you have insurance on your car, when you never have an accident, cause you never know when you will be stopped or have an accident. love is a pretty thing but doesn't always last forever, just like your car he wants to protect his personal intersts incase something happens just like you should too.

Answer 4

It really depends on what he stands to inherit. If it's property that has been in his family for generations, or a business, then he's just protecting his family's assets and being a wise businessman. Nobody wants to think their marriage is going to end, but the sad truth is, over half of marriages do end, and very few end amicably. Most women take what they can and leave once a marriage does end. My family lost generations worth of family heirlooms when an ex-wife took them in a divorce.

There's nothing wrong with protecting what's his. It's not a trust issue, it's a reality issue and the fact that he wants some security in knowing that his family's heirlooms will stay in his family. Perhaps he stands to inherit a watch his grandfather wore in WWII that has a history to it and he'd like to pass it onto a son or nephew some day.

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or doesn't trust you. If you had your grandmother's diamond wedding ring, wouldn't you be upset if he was given it in a divorce decree?

Answer 5

I just got married this August. I am 22 and my husband is 24. We don't have anything but our cars either so I can relate. I feel the same way you do about pre-nups. I think that you should explain to him that you are excited about being with him forever and are sad that he would even mention a pre-nup. Ask him why a pre-nup is important, since you two will not leave each other? That's my understanding of marriage (unless there's abuse our something). If there is no trust, you should push the date back until he is ready to FULLY commit!

Answer 6

You could potentially be screwing yourself by not signing. Who ever it is that he is potentially inheriting money from, may leave it in their will that he cannot have it, or if its a trust that he's waiting to get, he may not be elligible if he does not sign a pre-nup. Assuming that the marriage works out andyou are together when he is to receive the money, neither of you will get it because you didnt sign. Or if he does inherit money and you divorce, you didnt earn it, and he didnt earn it, so why worry about it? I dont think pre-nups are necessary either because if you intend to stay married you dont need one. If you dont intend to stay married, why get married? However, if you both only have your cars, then go ahead and sign. It's not worth losing the man you love, over something neither of you have no control of.

Answer 7

Be honest.

Explain that 1) You do not think that a pre-nup is necessary because a pre-nup covers what you currently own (cars) and not what will be acquired in the marriage (inheritance). 2) You each will have to retain separate attorneys to negotiate the terms of the pre-nup, and that is an expense of money and energy that you do have to spare right now. 3) You feel insulted that the suggestion of a pre-nup seems to be coming more from his mother than from him.

Answer 8

You can tell him that although a pre-nup agreement looks like a good idea to him, it really does not make sense to you since the only actual assets you have to your names are your cars. If he wants to protect what he will inherit, he can only protect on paper what he has to his name at the moment. What he will inherit is not yet in his name and therefore cannot protect that. On that basis, you are unwilling to sign a pre-nup.
Hope that helps!

Answer 9

first of all however polite will not suffice or help anyone
secondly, your cars are really liabilities not assets
thirdly, you are both very young and a pre-nup does not mean he doesn't love you and it doesn't mean that you will get divorced
-it's actually a fairly common thing out there, and not so unusual for his mother to request that, probably their lawyer advised it.
it's natural that you feel insulted but you really shouldn't, it has nothing to do with that, it is fairly standard part of "estate protection" on the part of his family
-read up about it
-talk openly with your fiance about it, tell him how YOU feel
-how does HE feel about it? don't be accusatory when you talk about this, hear him out.
-if after all this you feel you can't sign it, tell him exactly why
-the pre-nup should be a formality, after all you are getting married, you are NOT planning to get divorced
if you truly love each other the thing will never matter in your future

Answer 10

Then what does it matter? I think it should be the law for everyone to sign a prenup. Especially if you are only 20.... You never know what could happen. If you end up inheriting more then him or making more money than him and you decide to divorce him...he could take 1/2 of everything!! I think by not wanting to sign one, that you are hoping to take him for everything he's got someday!

Answer 11

If you are not worried about losing any of your assets, since you say you only have a car, you should not be adverse to signing a pre-nup. If he inherits money from his parents, it would probably go to his future children, not necessarily to you. He can leave it in trust for them so you don't get any.