completed me.I found that my heart and mind where not insync.I let myself get caught up in "what the future will hold" and left my new love to go back to my boyfriend.Now that I am back, I find myself completely in love with new guy and only here with boyfriend to make him happy.I am 30 yrs old and feel like my life is a disaster.Do I follow my heart or do I stay and build a life that I know will be secure.I'm scared to make the wrong decision.B/f is 34, divorced 1x and is on the path to success,my new love is 31,divorced 2x and has 2 children.He has a good job and does what needs to be done. For me it is not about $,for you can love a rich man as well as you can love a poor man.I am just sooooooo confused and am in desperate need of some input. Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-31 05:04:01 · 16 answers · asked by Mystery Girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Both guys are divorced, couldn't make a marriage work and you are thinking of fixing them?
I DON'T THINK SO.
You would be better off to find someone who hasn't been married and make a real life with a real guy.
PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO DAMNED LOOSE WITH THEIR LIVES.
Sleeping around at the drop of a hanky does not promote respect. Hopping in and out of marriage is just more of the same menttality.
2006-10-31 05:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I only had to read half of what you wrote to know you shouldn't be with the old boyfriend. Being happy should be your number one goal. If you stay with the old boyfriend out of loyalty you're just asking for trouble. You'll be unhappy and he will sense it. Not only that you may wind up cheating and hurting him worse down the road or maybe he'll cheat on you because he can sense something is not right. Spare yourself the drama and leave.
The big problem though is that you should have never gone back. That was very dishonest to him and yourself. Now're going to have to leave him again and hurt him once more. On top of that you may have hurt the new guy by coming and going.
I have no idea if you should go back to the new guy or if he'll even take you back but I do know you shouldn't be with your old boyfriend. Future financial stability will not make you happy. Better to be poor and in love than rich and unhappy.
2006-10-31 05:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by DiRTy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you left your b/f because you WEREN"T HAPPY!!!!. Why go back to unhappiness if it's not about the money. You must consider your feelings foremost. 2ndly, when you got with the new guy, it was probably a "rebound" thing since you were just coming out of a 2 year stint with guy #1. How about this: ask yourself if you are truly happy with the current situation. If you can't honestly answer "yes" without a shadow of a doubt, or if it takes you too long to find the answer to that question, then consider being by yourself until you "find yourself" and figure out what makes YOU happy. Then don't settle for someone just because. You can't truly put your all into a relationship until you know what you want to gain from that relationship. Good luck. Hope this helps a little.
2006-10-31 05:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by Sherbert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My rule has always been: never recycle used husbands/fathers from another woman's family because his kids and first wife will always come first. Emotionally, financially, time-wise.
A 31 year old twice divorced man (only 31 and 2 divorces???) with 2 kids doesn't exactly say "secure, family values" to me, and certainly isn't "doing what needs to be done" if he's already dumped 2 wives before the age of 35.
Your third option is neither man. I think there are more than 2 men in the world.
2006-10-31 05:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't care about the money you wouldn't be having this problem.
You need to get a job and support yourself and stop worrying about your boyfriend's "path to success".
You say in some of your previous answers that you're not a little kid....that you're grown up. Well you sure as hell don't act like a grown up. You're as selfish as a 12 year old girl.
And by the way....since both of you were cheating to be with each other....what do you think is going to happen once the intial spark fades? You two deserve each other.
2006-11-01 02:35:55 · answer #5 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to go back to the man you love, the new man, if you felt that you weren't happy with the man you were with for 2 years, you will get that feeling again, and then it might be too late to go back to the man that you recently met. You should be with the one who your heart chose, and that way you together can work on making the money and making a happy family. Everyone makes mistakes and maybe his 2 divorces were things where he went wrong. Maybe he needs a good woman like you next to him to make him complete?
2006-10-31 05:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all you left bf #1 to go be with bf #2? Oh boy, then you left bf #2 to go back to bf #1? Honey, you aren't confused. You know which side of the roll has your butter and you are "rolling" with it. I think both deserve better than you, running back and forth and if it wasn't the money, wasn't the security, you wouldn't have mentioned it. As to bf #2 doing what needs to be done, yeah he's done it 2x and you wanna be #3? and bf #1 has done it 1x. And you? I have 2 words to describe you GOLD DIGGAR....on a path to success and you are going to ride the coat tails? Puuuuuuuuulllllleeeeeessssee these guys both deserve better than you! Hit the road and don't look back!
2006-10-31 05:24:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Will think about it this way if the new guy was divorced x2 there must be a reason. He might be the perfect one at first but once those papers are signed he might change his ways. But follow your heart and gut. You just give us a little input on how your life is but only you know what is best. Even if no one else thinks it's right.
2006-10-31 05:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl. Get the hell outta Dodge. I know exactly what you're talking about, and believe me...YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU STAY. There are no rules to life and love...make your own. Break the ones you're used to...whatever you do.. DO NOT STAY IN THAT STALEASS relationship. You'll end up hating him and yourself, so don't do him any favors by staying for him. What about you girl? and your happiness?
Isn't that worth something? You're damn right it is, it's worth everything. Your happiness comes first, then the other person's. It's not selfish, it's how great relationships stick.
2006-10-31 05:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by shortbus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My input is as follows: Take a break and get away from both guys for a few days. Be honest and ask yourself what you really want out of the relationship - is it compatibility, mutual love and serinity or constant pursuit of ups and downs and wishful thinking. Make a list of the pros and cons of both based on your criteria and then select the one with the highest score.
2006-10-31 05:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋