This is what I am going to tell my "gf". I say it like that b/c she's been so distant lately and she is really torn up about what she wants. It's like there's two of her, one that loves me and one that refuses to love anyone. She has said before (we HAVE talked about this stuff) that her relationships always end up here, she ends up pulling away. Anyways, I am just going to tell her to take some time, but I want her to figure out if I am who she wants or if maybe she just has never found someone who is just right for her. What do you think? I really only want her to be happy and know we could never be happy if she's not. How long would it take some of you to figure this out? If it's any consideration, we've been "dating" for about 6 mos.
2006-10-31 04:55:56 · 4 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give her some time & yes it might be that she has not found the "one" if you will. It may be you, it may NOT be you. Your relationship is still new, and maybe she is afraid to get too attached and let go of her feelings completely because she's afraid to get hurt. She was probably hurt bad on a prior relationship.
2006-10-31 05:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by malu622 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the right thing. Let her figure out what ever it is that she wants. Maybe she has had some "bad experiences" in the past that she is basing the relationship on. She is probably scared of "letting someone else in" right now. 6 months is plenty of time to see if a "couple" fits.. I fiugured out that the last relationship I was in, was no good some where inbetween 4-6 months. So I left him just before Christimas pretty much. I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere.
2006-10-31 05:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing to figure out. After 6 months a person should know if they want to continue with you or not. If she's undecided, then the answer is not. Don't be one of those people who wimp around saying "what do you want? do you want me? are you happy with me? do you need time? will you love me? I'm here if you want me."
Why don't you tell her what you want, and she can either take it or leave it. Say "I want_____ and I need a girlfriend who___. Is that you?"
The fact that she "can't" make up her minds really means her mind is made up. It's no, but there's no one else in place yet, so she'll keep you around for now.
2006-10-31 05:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your GF has had this problem before and you knew this. Your choices are as follows:
1. Have her get couseling, she needs it.
2. Its not fair to allow one partner to play games with another partners feelings and emotions, do not allow her to do this to you.
3. Dump her.
4. Stay with her and see what happens
5. If you do the same thing you have been doing, you will continue to get the same results.
6. Tell her to seek help and you will TRY and work through this with her.
7. What it gonna be?
Good luck!
2006-10-31 05:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋