I'm married to a wonderful man, who unfortunately is just like his mom. My husband has 2 younger brothers, the youngest I am REALLY close with. I consider him my brother. He's a US Marine (served in Iraq and is now in Okinowa, Japan) he's seriously dating a Filapino girl. I'm happy for him, the rest of the family is concerned to the point of being unsupportive (because we are Christians and the girl he's dating is not a Christian) I'm happy for my brother, I want to be there for him. The rest of the family (remember this is my HUSBAND'S family) thinks he's making a big mistake, turning his back on them, etc. This is a problem between my husband and myself (because I'm supportive, he is not towards his brother in this matter!) Should I just keep my silence and be supportive of my brother still or side with my husband?! I'm at a total loss!
2006-10-31 04:28:10 · 15 answers · asked by Carpenter's Daughter 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off, I see several problems within your questions.... But, I surely appreciate the things you are asking. I too am Christian, a strong, devout Christian,... a full gospel Christian. and I believe all of the Bible and I take it seriously.
Next, scripture tells us you are to stand by your husband, but that doesnt mean you cant have your own opions. It is ok to tell your husband how you feel, but then let it go. Allow him to feel as he does, and ask him to allow you to feel as you do, but do not continue to go to the brother and take his sides. You must be with your husband on this, or it will cause problems, this is why the Bible tells us we have to stand by our husbands.
Next, this will surely surprize you, but I agree with your husband and his family. Scripture clearly tells us we arent to have a Christian marrying a non believer. that is a major NO NO. So, they are all correct. But they are surely missing out on a lot of other scripture. God gives us all the blessed gift of free choice. ANd, allows us to suffer the consequences of choices apart from Him, or to reap the rewards from choosing to follow Him and His directions for us, to know that we honor Him and know He knows best what is for our life, and to follow that ONLY
Yet God still does give free choice. and God tells us we cannot judge non Christians, tho we are to go to fellow believers and tell them when its wrong, or we will be held accountible as tho it was a sin WE committed. this is all in the Bible, clearly.
Most Christians like the pointing out of sin stuff. Its natural, because we love them and want them to know God too, and to be saved. But, facts are facts. WE arent to go to non believers with any of this. Now, your husbands sister is Christian, and yes you and the family have every right to go to her and state the Biblical facts. Look them up, research them, pray about it and then go to her. But, do it in love, or not at all. Once you have presented the Biblical truths, then you must be silent and allow her to deceide for herself. as hard as that sometimes can be because we love them. We arent to turn our back on our family, unless they are violent and will hurt us, etc. But, they can tell her that they all still love her, and will pray for her, as she makes her own choices. And, then if they arent comfortable around them a lot when they are married, then just dont go around a lot. But, when they do , they must show only love for them both. In this young girl seeing true Christian love, that can win her heart. By showing her contempt, they cant lead her to Jesus. They have already by then stated their case, and now must allow this young man to make his own choices, but always let him know he is loved and needed, and encourage him to try to lead her to the truths he has found. It is so neat that you love your husbands brother as your own. that is Christian love. But, do not allow this to come between with you and your husband. Tell him exactly how you feel and do it in love. Then stand by your man as he is also allowed to make his own choices. By your showing true Christian love, the family can learn from you. I guess my best advice to you girl, is YOU GO GIRL> KEEP LOVING AND FORGIVING< But truly following all the Bible says. As it says to love and forgive , it is also clear you must stand by your man, unless he is asking you to do something not of God yourself. and he is not. Just let him know your point of view cant change, because you feel it would be unchrsitian, and noone is ever to put a mate above GOD, NEVER..... Now, just love your husband, know this is hard for him and the family. Its the devil bringing issues. Just stand firm in your own truths and stand by everyone the best you can. God loves you, and will give you the strength to do what all He calls you to do, and remember Jesus is coming SOON, Lets just keep our own minds and hearts ready to meet the Lord when He comes. Obedience brings blessing, and disobedience brings curse. We just cant follow the parts we like. thata rebellion, which to God is as witchcraft. thats Biblical too. Press on sister. I will pray for you. I too have had many similiar family issues, and I know how hard it is to always do the right thing, but God gives you the strength to just do it. I did love your question, as it shows there are people left trying to do the right thing in difficult circumstances. God loves that. Pat yourself on the back and know God just loves you and is with you in this as He is everything...
2006-10-31 05:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by full gospel shirley 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's best to be the neutral party and not side with anyone while you love your brother in law and support him and are happy for him and his new found love and even if you feel they are making a mistake you can only speak for yourself not for the family as a whole and all you can do is support your husband tell him you don't like his choice but you can respect it as you want him to respect your choice of being supportive to your brother and that you will not take sides
2006-10-31 04:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to side with your husband just because you are married. That would be a hipocrasy on your part. Support your brother. However, this is something he was probably aware that would happen when he got involved with this girl and there may not be anything you can do to make sure the family stays together. They will have to form their own opinions.
2006-10-31 04:32:04 · answer #3 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why should you side with him if you do not feel this way ,as I recall speaking on christianity that moses had married an Eathiopian woman and that his brother's wife had spoken against her , God had heard this also and had exiled her , but because of his mercy upon them He gave her a week to think upon this then to return , I am sure Aarons wife took a new outlook upon life Remimber even if you can not remind without conflict that Jesus took all who were willing into his fold We for the majority are not original but grafted in to The Lord's great family remember it may not always be easy but we must always do our best to do His will and not our Own . God is the one We all answer to on our decision making You can always ask Him what His will is and the power to carry it out
2006-10-31 04:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by treafrog01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad your husband's family is so close minded. Tell your brother-in-law to follow his heart and his dreams will come true. Other than that, don't get in the middle of it. How bad could she be? The Filipinos I know are Catholic, and I consider them to be christian. We have three Filipino teachers teaching here at the school where I work, they are hard workers. Maybe a little harsh, but good work ethics.
2006-10-31 04:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always stand up for what you believe! Why you would even think to "side" with your husband is crazy! If his family wants to shut out the member of the family that's their loss not the brothers! Stand by him, he is going to need you. The family will learn that if they want a relationship with the brother they will have to let him live his own life and not judge him for it! He is a grown azz man!!!
2006-10-31 04:48:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be supportive of your brother. this isn't the 19th century where you were expected to agree w/ everything your husband said. You have your own ideas about life and your vision is clear. Whereas your husband and his family, while concerned for him, their minds are narrow and it is a shame that they will not open their eyes and embrace him and his decisions. I mean after all, they are his to make. Wether it be a mistake or not it is his choice not theirs. You just keep right on showing your support to him. This I am sure means the world to him since his own family will not accept it. Do not back down to them, you have your own ideas, express them. I say good for you!!!! And good luck to your brother.
2006-10-31 04:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you have to have a mind of your own. if you feel that you are right in this small family debate, then side with your brother, if your husband loves you, and I'm sure he does, he will respect your opinions as you respect his, don't let this divide your family bonds, it appears to be very important to you. let your husband know you love him, but that you will stay on your brother's side, Good luck Hun, all will work out
~Frenchie~
2006-10-31 04:32:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
with the aid of fact Jesus became precise. There would properly be no solidarity between religions, with the aid of fact of this Jesus became plenty against faith. Catholics have a significant subject with relatives who replace into "born lower back" and now no longer have self belief in teh Catholic rituals. jesus got here to hold freedom from non secular bondage, this freedom will set human beings against people who've obtained it. The rituals that faith makes human beings do shrink the capability of God in making human beings have self belief that with the intention to get carry of God's grace, forgivenss, help, or regardless of, that they'd desire to accomplish a definite action, say a definite subject, pray a definite way, or regardless of. Jesus by no potential taught such issues yet taught that God does not care approximately rituals etc. non secular traditions have not everywhere in genuine Christianity; it is what contraptions people who're nonetheless non secular at odds with people who're rather following Christ.
2016-10-03 03:31:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stick to your guns and be supportive of the brother, you are doing what you feel is right. Hopefully the family will come around
2006-10-31 04:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep your opinion to your self. Your husband has the right to say what he wants. If your brother-in-law knows how you feel, then let it be. You never want your husband to feel like you don't support him, so just let him talk. Any way you look at it, your brother-in-law is going to do what his heart tells him to.Just step back and welcome your new sister-in-law to the family when she comes.......Best wishes.......
2006-10-31 05:06:12 · answer #11 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋