First, I should let you know that I'm a 41-year-old single mom and have a 15-year-old son who loves to fish. Okay.....he has a sort of "mentor" that takes him out fishing and they also fish together in tournaments. Over the past few months I have kind of grown to like this guy a little (who is a few years older than me), mainly because he is such a good role model to my son. Without actually coming right out and asking him out, how could I very discreetly let him know that I'm interested? The last thing I want to do is be pushy. And I definitely don't want to ruin anything for my son. He has already made it a point to let me know that he is single. I'm a little on the "shy" side and haven't dated since my divorce almost 5 years ago........any suggestions?
2006-10-31 04:20:48 · 22 answers · asked by Sharon B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Invite him to dinner and prepare some of the fish he and your son have caught together. That would be completely non-threatening, and a nice way of saying "thank you." You should be able to better gauge his interest over dinner.
2006-10-31 04:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by DidacticRogue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you invite him over for dinner after one of your fishing trips? Your son will be their too, so it won't be to obvious. You could let your son have a friend stay over, and after dinner the kids could go off and play while you and the mentor spend a little time getting to know one another better. Find a good movie the two of you could watch and share a few laughs. Build a friendship with him so the two of you are more comfortable with moving forward. You could also ask for his advice about something, or maybe you could use a little help with something around the house or with your car. Good luck
2006-10-31 04:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him over for dinner. Then make sure the conversation lasts past your sons bed time! That way it gives the 2 of you a chance to talk a little more. Some wine, good Italian food. Maybe if you have a chance to talk to him one on one and make a better observation of if he is interested.
Keep in mind, if you do date this guy, and things end badly it could be awkward for your son and he would loose a good mentor!
2006-10-31 04:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by April M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.
I understand that you do not want to ruin things for your son. That is really important for him to have a very good mentor.
So, if you do start something with this man, do make sure that it is something that will lead to committment, not an 8 week trist.
An "affair" after ending, may mean your SON loses more than eithe of you.
So, then, you take it VERY slow. Let "love" build into something that will last
BEFORE the sex part, no matter how much you want the sex.
Most men will go for the sex early, and tell you anything to see if you'll put out...
but that won't make them decide to stay with you long term > in fact it will work the opposite.
Most men will tell you they want sex early on, but they will only "respect" you and consider you for a long-term relationship if you DON'T give out before love.
They want to DO an easy woman
but they don't care to be long-term with her.
For a long-term relatioship men want a woman with boundaries, is cool, clearly likes them a lot, but won't be used, or be a doormat
trying too hard to please him turns him OFF...
If you want a relationship that is good, and will last, then you must respect yourself and who you are, before you can expect him to.
Remember: If you want a guy to have long-term interest in you, then you need to show him other things about yourself that make you above the rest of the girls, before you give him sex.
If you are afraid you'll lose him that way
you are totally wrong.
A guy forms his opinon about how he feels about you: Sex-object, or Cool-girl
according to how you present yourself.
A guy will desire a Cool-girl that makes him wait for the sex part, but will be willing to wait
if she is lots of fun, interesting, confident, and shows she likes him a lot and more
BEFORE she gives him sex.
Men RESPECT having to wait for sex with a very special Cool Girl.
How do you make the first move?
When he brings your son home, invite him in for a talk, offer him dinner, or
if you are all out, invite him to get a bite to eat with you and your son.
Let your eyes and your body-language tell him you are interested. He doesn't need more clues than that...he's no dummy, so don't force things by going overboard with anything you do.
Let him know you are a cool girl, and that you have a strong grip on the reality of human relationships, that some work and some don't...and it's should not be a big deal when a relationship doesn't work out = people should remain friends no matter what. This will signal him it is "safe" to date you (even if it doesn't work out).
I wish you love
stw
.
2006-10-31 04:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him over for dinner to show your appreciation for all he does for your son, and make sure your son is out for the night. See what happens. Maybe if given the chance, he will go for it. He probably is as nervous as you are, and doesn't want to make a move in front of your son. So create an opportunity. If nothing happens, hey...no biggie...he still deserved the dinner for being such a great mentor. What have you really go to lose?
2006-10-31 04:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are sweet! I can tell. Make him dinner as a thank you for being a mentor to your son. Invite him out with you guys to the movies. Include him in your plans often. And smile at him a lot!
2006-10-31 04:23:35 · answer #6 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right you shouldn't be too pushy but I would just suggect things casually like invite him over for dinner or tell him there's a great movie coming out that you would want to see and you wouldn't mind him going with you if it was cool. Eventually things will come into play but start off with small talk and casually suggest things! I hope I helped...
2006-10-31 04:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you could do to start would be to talk with your son and tell him how you feel. Sometimes in cases like this your son might say its ok but deep down it would be like you are taking one of his friends away from him if you two got serious. Im not sure how your son is you would no. But start with him to see how he feels. Good luck! Once again you only live once so live life to the fulliest
2006-10-31 04:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by tckk1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask him casually out. Maybe you can suggest going to dinner with you and your son. It definitely sounds like he's interested too. It's just a matter of who's going to break the ice first. So, do it now before its too late.
2006-10-31 04:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will let you know that I am a 37-year-old male who admires your willingness to ask questions. From a male point of view: ask him out. Here's why:
If he is not interested, take whatever nice way ("I'm involved," "I'm recovering," "value our friendship," or whatever, but don't take it personally. I cannot predict if he feels the same but I can nearly guarantee one thing:
If you ask, his ego will bloom. It will make him feel great and will make him like you more (intimately OR platonically). If he says no, don't press (THEN you become the stalker). Just shrug it off and pretend it didn't happen as he will (with a smile of pride to boot!).
If he says yes:
YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH for both of you!
You sound like a great lady. Here's hoping he thinks so too!
2006-10-31 04:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by brucebhumphrey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋