I've been seeing this guy for about 7 months now. I love him and we have good times together... but its always at my expense. We both work and make about the same amount of money, so why am I always paying for the dates? I can only recall maybe a handfull of times he treated me to something "nice." He also doesn't have a car so I'm always driving... lets face it, gas isn't cheap anymore... what should I do? I've talked to him about it before... I want to end it, but I don't know how. I'm 20, he's 22... I know he loves me, but it seems like he doesn't love me for me, he loves me for how giving I am.
Advice anyone?
2006-10-31 04:07:19 · 14 answers · asked by B.K. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am in the same boat. im 25 hes 26. he doesnt have a car and he just lost his job. we've been together for about 5 months and even when he had a job i still paid for everything. i also have a 3 year old son that i have to support. he keeps saying hes trying. but honestly its tearing me up inside and i dont know how much longer i can put myself, and my son, through this. you gatta do the same thing i have to do. think about yourself and how you want to be treated. if it is hurting you inside you have to be strong enough to get out. i know its hard. trust me i dont know how to do it either. but i have to for my son and myself. its just gunna run you down and out. remember there are so many others out there.
good luck and stay strong
2006-10-31 04:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by Teri M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to stay with him, you have to talk to him about how this makes you feel. If he respects you and changes, then maybe its meant to be. If he doesn't change his ways, then he doesn't respect you and love you like a guy should. Hes a guy and you would think that his natural instincts would be to take care of you.
He should understand that you have bills to pay too. Don't let him say he can't afford it, if he can't, he shouldn't be dating anyone, especially if he is the one who initiates the dates. My bf and I are both 20 and live together and know what its like to have bills to pay, and that makes it easier to share all expenses. You can't be selfish in a relationship.
Unless you live in a city where there's plenty of public transportation, he should get a car. Unless there are legal reasons or he lives on his own and has too many expenses to afford it. How does he get to work?? If he can't afford a car, he should be going to school or doing something else so he can eventually get a better job or advance at the one he has now.
Can you see yourself having a future with him? And spending the rest of your life with him? I know you're young, but you obviously want a serious relationship to lead to long term commitment if you are with him for 7 months.
And if its just to have fun while you're young, you are wasting your time with this guy because he makes you upset. To end it you have to be fair and tell him why and how you feel about your relationship and why its not working for you. If he wants to change and you want to give him another chance, thats your decision, but if he doesn't then you should end it completely. He doesn't even sound like someone that would be a good friend. He needs to grow up and realize that he is in a relationship and has to be mature about.
2006-10-31 12:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by ~Lin~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its at the point where your relationship with him has to end. You sound like a very kind and considerate person and he sounds like a freeloader. I'm sure that you can find someone better and someone that can treat you right. You just need to tell him whats on your mind and that you think its best that you guys break up. Good luck with everything.
2006-10-31 12:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by calibeauty3698 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd go dutch with a girl sometimes, and she drove most of the time.
Of course, I'm in high school and still paid most of the time. In fact, I can hardly remember a time I didn't.
A relationship shouldn't be about fairness, but if you are obviously being treated unfair, then it is time to take action.
2006-10-31 12:13:20 · answer #4 · answered by sebastian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be stiaght up with him and tell him he needs start paying instead of you paying tell he you broke and have no gas in the car, and he dont want but any, find a some one else!!! where's all his money go?? he dont have car so no car payment( or any thing else??), does he have his own place????
2006-10-31 12:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by stonedagain2005 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously taking you for granted and yes, I am afraid it does sound as if he loves the things you are able to do for him but unable to give back to the relationship. For it to be genuine, you need to have a relationship where both parties contribute financially and emotionally.
2006-10-31 12:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesnt sound like he's all that interested in YOU, but rather what you can do for him. And obviously you dont feel good about it.
So try doing things that do NOT cost anything. See how long he continues to 'LOVE YOU'
2006-10-31 12:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go!!! Anytime you find your feeling more or spending more when your in A RELATIONSHIP, then its time to evaluate the situation, and you have done so...
If he only loves the giving you, then just be his friend, when you have extra cash and extra time spend it with him other than that MAKE HIM NOTICE THAT YOUR NOT HIS PERSONAL ATM MACHINE....
As long as you let him do it, he shall....
2006-10-31 12:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him and find you a real man. when you find one that will take care of you and do nice things for you then you will know with one really loves you! you seem like a really nice girl and you know you could do better and deserve better than what you have right now.
2006-10-31 12:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you.
Find someone who wants to give you a good time too.
50-50
2006-10-31 12:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋