Im 19 years old and I am in a good relationship - although we tend to argue about silly things sometimes! The thing is, my boyfriend loves kids - whenever theres one around he's all obsessed with it. And me? Well the little brats need to go away! Seriously, i am not even slightly interested in having kids....ever.
Im going to uni to study law - my dream is to be a rich successful solicitor and live in the city. He wants to have kids after i finish uni, and live in the countryside. Is it possible for either of us to change or even comprimise? Or is this gonna blow up in my face?
2006-10-31 04:05:03 · 24 answers · asked by Naomi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just don'y worry about it for now, don't keep your head in the future, just enjoy the present. For all you know you may change your mind, or maybe he will, he might find something else to obsess over.
Theres no point in losing a good relationship over something that may not even happpen
2006-10-31 04:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by Kimmyray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I had this problem, when I was 18. I wanted to go to uni, same dream as you, and my b/f at the time wanted to have 3 kids and be married by the time we were 24. It didn't work, we were just too different people. I'm now happily living in London, I've just finished my degree, and I'm with a lovely guy who, although he wants kids, eventually, he's not hugely bothered, and is willing to wait untill I'm ready. (I'm 23 now, he's 30.) You might change, you're still young, but I think you should follow your dream, if you don't then you will only end up regretting it, and probably resenting him as well. You can always have kids after you've got your career on track, a couple of years after you finish uni. See how it goes. To be honest, the odds are that your relationship won't last throughout uni anyway, sorry to sound harsh, but its true! So many people split up at uni, (we did) because you really start to find out who you are and what you want from life, and you start meeting like minded people. Don't bust a bollock about it now, it might work out, it might not. Just see where it goes...Good Luck!
2006-11-01 08:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by iwatchedthestarsfallsilently 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until after uni and see what the future may hold, either one of u may get ur dreams but when the time comes after uni then u can talk about what u to want out of life and ur relationship. For now work towards ur dream and live for the moment. Have fun.
2006-10-31 12:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by Chappers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know u say u dont want kids but ur only 19 and experiences in life change everything, if u were one of the unlucky women in life who couldnt have kids then i'm sure u would end up regretting not having them, just tell ur bf what u think ur goals are right now and see what happens, maybe he'll wanna compromise to keep you or maybe he'll say to call it a day, honesty is the best policy because if somewhere down the line u get married and then still wanna go in diff directions it wld b too late
2006-10-31 13:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how badly you two want to be together. It's a matter of you two compromising. It sounds easy, but when the time comes I'm sure settling will not come easy. These sound like issues that are hard to compromise over (to be honest). But if you two love each other you'll work it out some how, but do not getupset with yourself when you see that this relationship might not work for your benefit. good luck.
2006-10-31 12:10:47 · answer #5 · answered by smiling23beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but that is a huge problem if he wants kids that bad and you won't even consider it than there is no reason you to should think that far into the future as far as you to being together because you will not make him happy. Unless you are willing to have kids or he is willing to give up the though of having them there is no future.
2006-10-31 12:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by L@M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now you guys are ok, but when you graduate what then?
Is your future more important than your relationship or is your relationship more important?
Remember that finding guys who are willing to commit to marriage and have kids is difficult. Even I wouldn't dream of marrying and having kids.. So either you guys compromise (e.g. Still have kids and work as a solicitor) or move on..
2006-10-31 12:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by Trey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must listen to each other... sounds like you are both firm on your life's desires and those are about as far apart as it gets...
You are wise to realize how kids in your life are not compatible with your desires.
You must make your desires very clear.. write a letter so he can read it from time to time... and hopefully it will sink in..
You both have comendable goals, I'm afraid you should not be planning a future with each other.. one or the other will only end up resenting not following their dreams.
- good luck
2006-10-31 12:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still young - still have a lot of experiences ahead of you. It's a bit early to decide on your future, when you're just starting to go to university.
I would just enjoy the relationship, and not think of the future quite yet. Maybe later on, when you've had more experience, you can make a decision on your future with your boyfriend.
2006-10-31 12:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by Strange1am 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two are headed in different directions - he likes kids, you don't; you want to be a lawyer in the city, he wants to live out in the country.
There isn't a whole lot of room for compromise there, I'm afraid.
2006-10-31 12:08:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋