my husband and I were seperated and he passed away . His mother without letting me know he passed away filed and was granted guardianship of our children within days of his death without letting me know. She claims we were not married and I have the documents to prove we were. Can she do this and not be challenged?
2006-10-31 03:59:02 · 22 answers · asked by mzrbinsn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, she can not do that and you can challenge it. You are the parent, not her. The courts should have tried to find you. You need to get a lawyer to get your kids back.
2006-10-31 04:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you were separated is irrelevant. Another individual such as a grandparent can be granted guardianship, but she cannot block you from filing to reassert your parental rights, even if you didn't have the marriage documentation.
I have a different situation upcoming -- my wife is divorced from her husband who is a threat to her and the kids, so we have to very carefully file papers that don't disclose her location but that allow me to be appointed guardian if something should happen to her. Even then, unless his parental rights are terminated, I would have a big legal war on my hands to maintain custody -- that is how strong the legal precedents are.
So I know understand some of what you are going through.
Having the documents makes your claim of parental rights even stronger. Unless there is something in your current or past history that puts the children at risk, I can almost guarantee that you will be successful in regaining custody of your kids.
Unfortunately you will need an attorney to begin the court processes for a change in custody; that person will advise you where and how the filing will take place. If possible I would suggest that you do so in the state/county where you live if that is different than where "Grandma" lives -- you want this battle on your home turf, not her's.
Good luck in this difficult process.
2006-10-31 12:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by HeartSpeaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she did not tell you that he passed away it is more then likely the courts did not know that you are even a part of the children's lives or want to be because she probably didn't mention to the courts that you were willing to take your children in the event that something happened to their father. All you have to do is get an attorney and if you are legally their mother and your not unfit or been labeled unfit by a court then you can have that decision overturned and your children will be returned to you. Those kids are your kids whether you were married or not. The only way a judge would not return them to you is if for some reason your unfit but other then that, you are rightfully the custodial parent. Go get your kids girl!!!
2006-10-31 12:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kendra J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were the kids living with you when your husband died?
There is no state that I know of will give a family member the children from the mother unless the mother is into drugs or abuse the kids. You have to be served court papers to go to court by either the sheriff or a process server. Did you see any papers giving the kids to her or did she just say she went to court and got custody?
Did your husband have custody before he died or did you? Now if your husband had custody of the kids, she can get temporary custody but then there should be a court date coming up to prove if you are a fit mother to have the kids. You need to check with the court clerk's office and see if there is another hearing coming up for full custody of the kids. If your mother-in-law says she doesn't know where you are they will just put it in the newspaper I think three times and if you do not appear she gets them. If your husband had custody of the kids and the mother-in-law was the caregiver for a long period of time there is a chance she would get to keep them. Depends on the state you live in and the reason why you
didn't have the kids with you and your husband did. Also it would depend on if you have a good home for them and a good job to support them. Money talks.
Also if the kids are older they can choose who they want to live with. One thing that is for sure you need a good lawyer.
2006-10-31 13:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by myangelmyson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you two were married isn't the issue here (even though you were.) The issue is that you are the mother, and as long as you had your rights, the courts should have notified you of any petitions for guardianship.
Hire a lawyer, and fight it. There is no reason for her to have your children. Take all the documents you have proving that you were married, you are their biological mother, and you want your children back. No judge is going to leave them in her custody when the mother is fit to care for her kids.
2006-10-31 12:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is how did you not know that your husband had passed away i mean if you have close contact with your children that may have come up . Anyway you should contact a lawyer since you are their mother you have more legal right than their grandmother but when you go to the lawyer make sure you let him know all of your dirt that way he is not blindsided in court so the major dirt is drug use child abuse neglect even if they were just allegations but as long as the court finds that you can give them a stable environment and are fit i don't see why you would have a problem getting them back
2006-10-31 12:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOw, that isn't legal. If your husband passed without your knowledge, you should be the next person to get your children, UNLESS, you were granted by the courts to not have any custody or vistiation. But, if it was not that way, she did this under false pretenses. I would speak with an attorney, get a free consultation, and find out what the laws are in your state. Then, who knows, you may be able to do it without even going to court. Stick with it. But, remember, grandparents do have rights, and be ready for a fight if you aren't on good terms with them.
2006-10-31 12:03:28 · answer #7 · answered by kimmypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem lies on, who has the guardianship right of your children before your husband passed away?
But remember that, no matter what happen, you're their mother and she's their grandmother.
If grandma felt the want to take care her grandchildren after the recent loss of her son, let her. Just make sure your children know that you love them.
2006-10-31 15:44:03 · answer #8 · answered by E A C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if you are doing a good job. Not if you make your kids first priority. And if you do both these things your kids won't tolerate being taken away from you and given to someone else.
Don't worry about trying to straighten things out with your mother-in-law. She seems to be acting out of self interest. If it were not so, she would appear on the scene to solve prolems for you and the children, without arousing any of your insecurity.
Best you don't use her services as a babysitter. She considers herself your competition. Your real friends won't treat you that way. If your husband didn't die, his mother would still regard you competitively.
2006-10-31 12:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by kasandra k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can take guardianship and it's up to you to fight it. You will probably win unless you are found unfit or the children are not biologically yours. If either of these are the case then I'm unsure what recourse you have.
I would definitely contact a lawyer in your state and if she is in a different state contact one there too, or find one that is licensed to practice in both places.
2006-10-31 12:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by Heather S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a court case number for which she received guardianship. Hire an attorney and file under the same case number and contest the issue.
2006-10-31 12:02:25 · answer #11 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋