How to move on?

Question

my boyfriend and i have cheated on each other and neither can get over it, but neither will let go? how do i let go, i'm scared to be on my own, let alone on my own with a child. I work, take care of her 5 days a week without him (hes a truck driver-doesn't get home until fridays and leaves sunday evening sometimes late afternoon).I've never been on my own. hes very supportive financially, but i have not an ounce of trust, how do we let go and be civil??

Answer 1

Try counseling. Doesnt have to be a psychologist ..go to your church (or a local one in the area) and talk to a minister/priest. They usually offer counseling for free.

Answer 2

First, forgive yourself and let it be a lesson. Nothing you desire is worth the guilt and pain. Don't beat yourself over the head with it. You know it was wrong, now move on. Second, forgive him. He made a terrible mistake and it was wrong for many reasons. Third, you decide if the relationship is something you want to salvage. If so, you must, absolutely must, get in to counseling. Only in this order will you be able to build a relationship. If you decide he is not someone you want to continue a relationship with, then you must begin to make the steps to move on. There are programs available to help you in terms of fiancial support. Begin a search for these agencies. Look in your directory, go to the local chapter of Salvation Army and ask for direction. Don't stay with him because you feel you must. That is not a basis for a good relationship. You can be happy again, as soon as you get your priorities in order. It is not going to happen over night. There is no quick fix, no matter which way you go. Be patient and be wise. Make the best choice for you and your child will reap the reward of a stable mother. Love and consistency is the best thing you can offer your child right now. Best wishes.

Answer 3

It's hard to be in a relationship when the other person is not there.The fact that you both have cheated on eachother is going to bring the trust level down for both.It seems like you are staying for the sake that your boyfriend supports you, you need to understand and realize that you could make it on your own. Maybe not as easily as right now. But what kind of relationship will it be if you keep thinking everyday about what your boyfriend did.I hope that you and he can talk things out and hopefully make things work. Good luck.

Answer 4

why don't you read a self help book, a relationship can drain a person and make you feel that you are unable to pick up the pieces from your life. i got over my break up and moving on.

Look yourself in the mirror. tell yourself that you are a beautiful individual. You might have to be mother and father to your child. and don't be scared at all. you know why? look at your daughter, just look at her. when she looks at you you know what she sees? an adult! someone who can take charge and handle everything for her. I am sure that you put her to bed and feed her and love her correct? because you are the mother and you want to protect her. well its time for you to really exercise you authority and command that to your everyday life. Take control, do what you have to do. depending on others may be nice but sometimes you have to make it happen. as for your boyfriend, i think that the two of you need some breathing time and stay away because the more that you two are around each other i guarantee that the past is going to come up. meanwhile find a job and take care of your daughter and yourself. believe that you will be OK and don't give up!!!!

Answer 5

sounds like to me you are pretty much already on your own. If he is always gone. Listen-from experience you can never get over cheating it will always be in your mind. Just try to figure out a way to make it financially and you will be ok. You two need to talk about a way to end things civil for the sake of your child.

Answer 6

It sounds like you're on your own a lot. When you get fed up enough that will motivate you to change. I'll never understand why people are so afraid to be alone. I just love it. It gives me time to read, learn, grow, and have more to give to others. I also study other people. People just amaze me. Each person has so much to teach me. Except for the ones that try to drag you down. I leave them alone. You're not alone, you have a child to love. You won't be alone for many, many years. People know when they are with a partner, only because the other person is afraid to be alone. There is a lot of pressue on women to be with a man. I think it's over rated. I divorced, and told him to take everything, I didn't care. I then learned I could make it on my own. I got to know my own identity. Doesn't sound like this guy is giving you much more than money. Are you going to live in fear. I refuse to live in fear, because I want to be free. The alternative, to me is to be like a slave. You have to decide for yourself. I'm not afraid of anyone, but one person in the world, it took me 52 years to speak up for myself, and it was so freeing. Nothing held me back, but fear. We are slaves to our fears. We only live once. You have to dig deep into your own heart and mind, and ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if...? And where does this fear come from? And how badly do you want to grow as a person? And don't go get yourself into the same kind of situation again, which is what usually happens. I know, because I've been there Sweetie. Good Luck. It's all a growing process of life. Don't be so hard on yourself, just be honest with yourself. I think if we dig down deep enough, with encouragement from others, we can find the courage we need. And please don't listen to others' negative stuff. Stay away from that for you own self preservation. I can't remember who said this but " I am a man of many fears, most of which have never came true."

Answer 7

SO HE'S A SPERM DONOR AND A BANK IS that it? hmm well if you take care of the child ON YOUR OWN 5 days a week it sounds like your doing fine on your own,why do people cheat!!!!!!! grrrrrrrr make's no since,and revenge sex is just stupid!!!! he fffff*d "jane" so i'm going to sleep with "tom" : / sad. two cheating dogs can never trust each other again! be over it and call it quit's!

Answer 8

Sound like you answered your own question. You move on by moving out into your own place. Once you will start getting child support that will help you some.

You will be fine. You are not the first or last! Go for it!

Answer 9

Go to couples counseling.
He's really not there for you physically, it mostly financially. I don't think you would really miss him that much, cause he's always on the road anyways. If you guys seperate, he would have to help out with child support (if thats his child). But I think before you split, give couples counseling a try.

Answer 10

if he cheated he is gone. you need to draw the line. if u dont people will just walk all over you. dont be the girl on the side u dont deserve that u deserve to be the # one girl in his life