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I've been dating a guy for a few months, he acts like he loves me, but he lives 3 hours away, after I came back from spending the weekend at his place, he started ignoring me, like when I would text, he wouldn'nt always reply, but if I call, he'll answer but never take the initiative to call me first. After 4/5 days passed, I sent him a text saying 'I thought u were special not like the using bastards I've had in the past, guess I was wrong'. He didn't reply. But spoke briefly on MSN the other day, he called today and said that calling each other too often is excessive, and calling every few days is how he prefers it, he said he still really likes me but was put off by the text I sent, should I be weary to the fact that he's not into contacting me as often? or am I over-reacting? He's always been like this but I wasn't really too bothered cuz i was doin my own thing,he's still doin it, it seems odd. Plus, we have awkward silences on the phone.

2006-10-31 03:35:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

28 answers

Yes you are over-reacting.

"he has always acted this why" the only thing that has change is you aren't as busy as you use to be, there is no reason to believe that because you have more free time he would suddenly be this super-outgoing person.

2006-10-31 03:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 0 0

The problem is the we each of you view the relationship.
You are looking for something permanent and exclusive.
It would seem that is not what he wants. he may very well be seeing others. And sense you are only seeing each other there is nothing wrong with that.

From what you say it seems you have had sex. Often this means different things to men and women. If your relationship continued to expand and become more intimate with time then you could and should expect more attention from him.

The reverse of that would be that you have not had sex. If that is all he wants at this point in his life he may be looking elsewhere.
When you were not bothered by this and doing your own thing he no doubt was quite happy about it. Now you are getting serious and he is pulling away.

It would seem he is not there. He likes you and may want to see you now and then but it is clear he does not view this relationship as going anywhere.

Find out where he is with you or move on. You are worth far more than a brief affair. Find someone close that values you. You will not have to ask this question then.

2006-10-31 11:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0 0

No you're not over reacting. It sounds like you want more than he's willing to give at this point. I think I'd probably take what he says at face value. He probably isn't much of a phone person so talking every few days or so is good enough for him. If you want more then I'd sit down with him sometime and talk to him about it. Tell him how important it is to you and how it makes you feel that he doesn't call. Maybe he just doesn't realize how important this should be to him. My husband was deployed to Iraq and only called once or twice a month because he thought he covered everything in his emails. He did but I needed to hear from him. I needed to hear his voice. He didn't get that until he came home and heard me talking about it and saw how it was actually affecting me. Maybe you just need to express yourself face to face so that he really understands what's happening when he doesn't call. Good luck!

2006-10-31 11:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by Angela G 2 · 0 0

Yah, you really need to chill out. There is nothing wrong with giving a guy some space. This often entails not calling him all the time, not texting him all the time, and most importantly, not expecting HIM to call and text all the time. Sounds like you are being a bit "clingy" and he's not having any of that. Letting your anger get the better of you and accusing him of being a "using bastard" just shows that perhaps, just perhaps you are the one who needs to take a step back.

2006-10-31 11:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by Dark Prince of Pomp 2 · 0 0

He does not want to be a one man women. He doesn't like girls he feels are chasing him. What I would do is be the same way he is and just start IM other people instead and when he writes tell him Oh so sorry I couldn't write back right away I was out with mark or SAM a lot this week. Then your more more wanted.and don't look so needy I say this not to be mean.

I just know my son when girls called all the time he ran as fast as he could from them .

2006-10-31 11:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by dianehaggart 5 · 0 0

well honey i think that is lil weird my bf started doin that when we first started dating but i talked to him about it to c what the deal was and he told me that he didnt want to wear our relationship out which i understood but we do talk at least 4 times a day and text each other all day.....the best thing for u to do is sit down and explain how u feel its bad enough that u live so far away from him and then only talk to him like every other day sucks that should make him want to talk to u more the distance between u 2 soo jus talk to him dont get all freaked out and yell at him jus talk and let him explain in a better more detailed way this time and make sure to get ur point across !!!!

2006-10-31 11:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by UR COUNTRY BEAUTY 1 · 0 0

I wouldn't say you're over reacting. You did over react with teh text message, but I can understand your desire for more frequent contact. It can be hurtful to have your significant other not take the initiative and have you do much of the work to set up dates, if that's happening. Still, I do think that your boyfriend is right, you should let him have some more time to himself, or talk to him about making the relationship closer.

2006-10-31 11:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Leave him! he probably has someone on the side..or just isnt into u that much he might just see u as a booty call! and doesnt see u as someone he wants to get serious with! take my advice call him let him know that u feel like your wasting your time and that u would rather move on and find someone who lives in the same town that u can date and see often! see what his response is if he easily says thats fine then he probably didnt want to be with u anyways

2006-10-31 11:39:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sounds like its time to move on sister- life throws you odd curves at times- maybe the one that's truelly looking for YOU is out there doing just that and your worrying about this guy is holding you back from finding him. Be thankful at the things you've learned,enjoyed and shared and keep the peace but start shopping!

2006-10-31 11:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0 0

I've been in this situation before and it sucks lol the same exact thing well it got to a point i really over reacted and he got mad and that's when it was all over now i understand that guys are different you just have to trust his feelings for once even though its very hard

2006-10-31 11:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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