I am in love with a man who is much older than I. Over the last months my feelings for him have deepened. Everytime I see him my heart pounds and I feel "weak at the knees". I tried avoiding him but it's hard to because of the ties I have with his family. I want to move on but I don't know how.
I tried to think of him in a nonromantic way and it helped a little. ( I do love him as a friend) There's still that part of my heart that longs to be with him though.
Any advice??
2006-10-31 03:33:56 · 13 answers · asked by isitlove20 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He isn't married and he's about twenty years older than me.
2006-10-31 07:40:05 · update #1
It takes alot of work and strength starting on the inside of you. I don't know the full details (like if you've had sex, if you've ever been involved with him) but I just know that you want to get over him. If none of the above ever happened and you just have feelings for him or admire him from "a far", then it sounds like you may have an infatuation with him. I know that word sounds crazy, but it's not. I've had feelings of infatuation before and if felt just like you are describing. But it's up to you now. It won't happen over night, but it will require alot from you. Take it one day at a time. Involve yourself in other projects, hang out with your friends; spend more time on you and what you like to do. I've definitely been where you are and if you know that you will never be together, then you have to start saying to yourself, "what about the man that I am going to be with? How will I have room for him to come into my life if I am still holding on to this other guy?" Think about when one door closes, somewhere a window opens. If he's your friend, then that's cool, but if it hurts to be around him then it may be necessary to distance yourself from the situation for a while. It may also be necessary for you to tell him your feelings just so that he can tell you that it will never be. Also that holding on may be a confidence thing within yourself. I myself am in a situation similar, and the reason I couldn't let go is because I was thinking that what if he's the one and I'm not around when he comes around? If he's the one, he will come around, but that's not a good reason to block yourself from all the blessings that are coming in your life. Believe me, it seems like you will never be able to move on, but you will. Don't give up though. If you feel yourself going backward, take that moment, and with all the strength you have inside you, PUSH FORWARD!! I hope I helped a little.
2006-10-31 03:51:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. The man that I secretly loved was available for me. I was too shy and afraid when he was interested in me, so we didn't work out on my part. After a few years went by and I found myself still thinking of him and wanting to be with him, I finally got up the courage to contact him and tell him how I felt. Guess what?..............he had gotten married and moved away. That was two years ago, so for the past two years, I cried and beat myself up. I couldn't let it go and knew I would never be truly happy because I allowed the true love of my life to get away. Well, a few months ago......Guess who called? Yes, it was him. He and his wife were no longer together and he was interested in me and picking up on our relationship. I said all of that to say this. If you really love this man, let him know. You should not hold your feelings in when he may feel the same way. Even if he doesn't feel the same way, at least you would have gotten it off of your chest. Trust me, let him know, that way if he moves on with someone else and it doesn't work out, he will know how you feel. You can also look at it as closure on your part. I really do believe in fate and that whatever is meant to be, it will be; however, I also believe that we have to let our feelings about people be known and then let fate do it's work.
2006-10-31 11:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by AMAZON 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man why do you not love him completely instead you are playing a game by trying to avoid him If it bothers you that he is older. There are a lot of relationships with older men and younger woman if you look at the the stats you will notice that you can be happy with this older man if he is available
2006-10-31 11:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. What you can do is go and find a bf or something like that. Don't feel upset or sad. You just go 2 his house and dont pay attention 2 him at all and youll probably will feel kind or confused but later you will find out he is not the love of your life.
2006-10-31 11:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by clau_kool_lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try a hard as possible to control your feelings since you know he is older than you and try not to have any contact with him but if you do just let him know you want him as a friend and he might be able to help you move on with your life
2006-10-31 11:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya ya move on. really. he's probably just looking at you as a young sex tool, if anything...cause really he can probably not relate to you.
life is NOT at ALL fair okay? you're gonna have to ignore those feelings. your brain is powerful, but your conscience is more powerful. get over him and maybe shake your head literally when you think of him. you might look crazy...but it helps.
good luckk..
2006-10-31 11:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by B.B Top 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to make him aware of your feelings, is there a reason you havent? What are your ties with his family? Hoiw much younger are you? is he currently married?
2006-10-31 11:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is he most beatiful thing enjoy it even if you will never be able to share it with him......
Most ppl wait there entire life to find that person........
About moving on take it one step at a time......
Good luck............
2006-10-31 11:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by tutsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl if you know you can't be with him why hurt yourself i promise you'll sometime move on so ..... don't worry... this happens to alot of us we fall for someyone for some reason we never get to be with them.... just do anything possible to keep your eyes off something that is not for you ...
2006-10-31 11:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by gina g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grab yourself by the boots and move on ...life hard deal w/it
2006-10-31 11:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋