after introducing myself to my fiancee's pastor, he sent a massage that i should not call her, visit her or even send her a text massage. it's a month plus now and he has not lifted the embargo. i'm no more comfortable with the whole thing. she told me she'll rather obey her pastor. it even get worst when i force my self to see her. for my calls? she won't just pick them. what should i do? wait? and for how long?
2006-10-31 03:27:47 · 13 answers · asked by dearson b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Put on army fatigues, a BIG gun on the hip, don't shave for a few days, eat a raw onion then go see the pastor and say this: "I would go around the world 5 times if I had to, to find you, when I did find you I would rape your sister, kill your mother, burn your house, blow up your car, sodomize your dog just because you don't mind your own business." Give him 2-3 seconds and then add "... and if that didn't work I would get really nasty".
2006-10-31 03:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by argeesoftware 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like either one of you are ready to be married. If she didn't want you to call/contact her, she should have come directly to you and explained why. You shouldn't need a third person to communicate with each other...or to try to work out what's going on inside each others heads.
Think about it, she's meant to be your fiancee! There shouldn't be anyone other than the two of you in your relationship (that includes pastors, parents, friends...whoever!). If this is what it's like now, it's probably not going to be any different after you've married her.
She hasn't respected your feeling or even considered your right to know why she cannot see you. If the restriction was imposed by someone other than herself, then she isn't standing up for or by you...and she's not going to start once the wedding is over. A marriage with poor communication and support for each other is not likely to work when the tough times roll round.
Also, you're planning on spending the rest of your lives with each other...why would you not be allowed to speak to each other??! Doesn' make much sense does it? YOU should not be the third person or the outsider in this relationship.
You should probabaly contact her (if she won't pick up the phone, email/write a letter...if going over doesn't amount to much!). If you write her a letter, make sure she get's it. Explain how you feel, discuss the dynamics of your relationship, what you both expect from it and of each other, and ask her for an explaination. Work out if you (both) still want this marriage...and if you're ready for it.
Expecting you to wait without so much as letting you know why, isn't fair by you. However, you owe it to her, as much as she does to you, to talk things over.
2006-10-31 12:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by Nereid 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she's the kind of girl who'd rather "obey" her pastor than be with you... then the pastor did you a huge favor. I'd say give her an ultimatum: me or the pastor. Her answer decides whether or not it is time for you to give up on her and move on.
2006-10-31 11:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by Dark Prince of Pomp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the reasons for this is best known to your fiancee and her pastor. If you have the gut, why not are the pastor for his reasons , so that you know whether to look else where or not.
2006-10-31 11:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by freeall_freeme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should give her the option of ignoring you because YOU are getting married to her. not the Pastor. I understand if she wants to listen to her pastor but at the same time you have to try to talk to her to make her understand.
2006-10-31 11:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by Foxxy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you wait, her pastor may going by the Bible ---about being unevenly yoked. You said "her pastor", that means he isn't YOUR pastor. Different churches work differently..Get on with your life, there will be the right one out there for you...
2006-10-31 11:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The good thing about being engaged is that you call call it off at anytime.
When things are off or uncomfortable at this stage I suggest you take a step back and look at this picture again.
Do you want a lifetime of someone else other then her having an influence over your life......you decide.
2006-10-31 11:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha massage eh? I know you meant message. Anyways i am not a religious person but doesnt that seem a lil ridiculous. A whole month..man sounds like he wants to get in her pants or he doesnt like you. Well she seems like the very religious type and i dont think you have a choice. If you make a big stink about it, you arent going to seem like the supportive type and women dont like non supporters. I think you are SOL.
2006-10-31 11:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by dlite1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go talk to the pastor and find out how long you are restricted from having contact with her.
2006-10-31 11:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by momofmodi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
did u ask y? or were u given a reason? it might be part of the counseling for getting married if you all are doing that together with him. however, it does sound very hairy....i would still try to talk to her and figure out why its so important
2006-10-31 11:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋