Am I being too sensitive or is he being insensitive???

Question

my bf and i are both really busy and we barely see each other...mainly b/c he is in med school...i try to be understanding when he says he can't see me or talk to me b/c he has to study...however, sometimes i feel like he is just making excuses..for instance, yesterday...i was driving home and wanted to talk on the phone with him but he said he couldnt talk b/c he had to study...however, he then ended up talking to one of his other friends for over 30 mins...he justified by saying that its b/c he doesn't talk to him very often...regardless, if he was really too busy to talk, then he wouldn't have been able to talk to him either... similarly, at another time...i had asked him to go watch a movie with me during the weekend...and he said he couldnt b/c he had no time since he needed to study...however, someone else asked him to go skiing and he agreed to it justifying it by saying that it was b/c its a rare opportunity...and he already spent of time with me in other ways (phone)...

so...i was pretty upset that he chose to go skiing after telling me that he would love to go to the movies with me but couldn't since he had to study....i feel like he totally changed that story after the skiing opportunity came up...we hadn't seen each other in person in a long time, but he felt that he couldnt make time to see me, but could to go skiing...but he says that i am being too sensitive and the truth is that he spends a lot of time on me (on the phone, not in person) and so he needs to have a balance and do other things as well...i feel like i am already having to deal with the fact that he is in med school...and so here i am waiting for his rare free moments so that we can finally spend time together..and then he chooses to spend time without me....am i wrong to feel hurt?

Answer 1

Honestly, I only read the question, not the details, and this is my answer: you are both "wrong". A good relationship needs compromise. You need to be a little less sensitive and he needs to be a little more sensitive. Both give a little and meet in the middle.

Answer 2

You're not being too sensitive. He's taking you and your relationship for granted. Perhaps not intentionally, but that's what he doing. Put yourselves on a schedule. At this time every whatever you will talk on the phone and on this day you will do something together. Obviously, med school is demanding, but you should demand some of his time and he should want to give you that time. He obviously find time for his friends. He should for you as well.

Answer 3

Alot of times women are to sensitve. Wemon tend to thrive off of emotions wich means that we creat our own problems. So what he talked to someone else on the phone instead of you, really do you want him to only talk and do things with you? Thats not gonna happen, and if my some miracle you do get him to cut off all his friends he's only going to resent you for making him lose his friends. He is in a stressful time being in school to be a doc. He needs to talk to other people his life doenst just involve you and school. You have to be undertanding of him. If you would let go of emotions and see the situation without emotions i bet you would see that its not that big of a deal.

Answer 4

Yes and no, He needs to realize that you need some hands on attention. But med school is extremely tough and it is hard to balance a GF, school, and not lose contact with old friends. Continue to tell him how you feel but remember this wont last forever he will be out of med school one day and you will get more time with him.

Answer 5

i'm comfortable to the sentiments of others, yet what happens is that lots of the time I certainly do no longer know what to assert. If somebody I artwork with, case in point, loses a kinfolk member, I do in basic terms no longer know what to assert. area of me would not care using fact i do no longer know them that nicely, however the middle of my heart feels for them using fact i'm able to usually know the way it feels while people circulate by way of troubling situations. it incredibly is not any longer common to describe, yet i'm able to experience the heartache and injury...it incredibly is the words that get away me with maximum persons different than close acquaintances. If some thing happens to me, for yet another occasion, i'm the type of individual who prefers a heartfelt hug as unfavorable to words. perhaps that makes me an insensitive individual, i think.

Answer 6

men continue to do things they feel they are successful at more and more. More decrease doing things they feel they are unsuccessful at.

When he speaks to his friend, both he and his friend have a good time. When he hangs up the phone he doesn't feel guilty for not talking longer because his friend doesn't make him feel that way.

Rather than making him feel badly for the time he doesn't spend with you (which creates a no-win for him and makes him want to do it less), try and switch the dynamic, thanking him for when he does spend time with you. The more fun he has with you, the more he is going to want to keep doing it.

Answer 7

I would think you are history. He has already laid ou his priorities and you do not appear to be one of them. Get yourself a man who cherishes you, not one who views you as a book to be opened when he has time.