okay, this is a tough one and I don't know what to do. I still have a "crush" on somebody I haven't seen for 7 years. I hate feeling this way as it always gets me down and I can't stop thinking about him. The worst part of it is he was a teacher of mine. I had the biggest crush on him when I was at school and I'm now 24 and I still think about him all the time. Why is this? Maybe I'm messed up in the head, who knows? But one thing I do know is that it hurts for some reason and I feel I can't get on with life with this in my mind. I've tried putting it all behind me but every little thing reminds me of him. This has affected past relationships and I fear it will for a long time to come. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'll try anything
2006-10-31 02:39:57 · 14 answers · asked by Liane H 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is locked in your head as an ideal because your relationship didn't progress past the initial stage of infatuation, and it still feels good to think about him.
The easiest cure might be to go see him.
2006-10-31 02:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by snowgoose8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People often have these crushes on people for many years. Some of us are more pone to them than others.
One way to 'solve' the problem is to get in contact with them person. Try and arrange to meet up with them. If the feelings are just as strong when you meet them chances are their feelings will be the same and you can take it somewhere.
You may find that when you meet that person the feelings dissappear as the reality is different to how you have built it up to be in your mind.
I am in the same situation at the moment myself. I met a guy 3 years ago but we never had an opportunity to really get together. we never even had an in depth conversation, I couldn't even call him a friend but somehow we share this strange deep bond. I wonder if its just in my head a lot of the time but when I do see him which is only a few times a year the feelings all come rushing back. I am going back to the mountains (where we do seasons) now single with the aim of finding out what he's all about and if there is something there or not. Its the only way I will ever be able to get rid of the constant hurt I have.
I think the key is to go into the situation with an open mind. don't expect anything to happen. be happy whatever the result and say whatever you want to say. don't leave with any regrets of what you could have said.
hope that helps :)
2006-10-31 02:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by cheeky_delinquent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crushes can sometimes linger for years. I know I had at least one that did. But here's a question for you: You are 24 now. Is it possible that this teacher is single? If he is there would not be anything inappropriate about you seeking him out. If he still measures up, and he is also interested you might have a really great thing! If not, it might help you move on.
Yes you WERE his student. You are now a 24 year old, free thinking ADULT who is not his student, nor are you tied to his school in any way. There is nothing morally or ethically wrong with you two getting involved.
2006-10-31 02:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a healthy "crush" to this figure you met 7 years ago. I think it has more to do with the feeling of loving what you can't have, and dreaming of what it could have been if it had developed into something. Don't get me wrong, I am not having a go at you, I just think you have not matured properly in the love department and it is understanding given your age. You will get over it when you find someone you really love AND loves you back. There is a certain fascination with the feeling of an unrequited love... It is just about understanding the mechanism and realising that, whilst romantic, it does not lead to happiness..
2006-10-31 02:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by a_facchini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should go back to the school and see him. At that age you thought he was the bees knees and now may see him in a different light. You just remember your feelings and not how he would appear to you as a grown adult.
I used to have a crush on my teacher but thinking back he wasn't s perfect... I just thought he was. And you know, I came up with that when i saw him again in the school. (I revisited another teacher and nipped to see him too)
If you cant get in touch with him, the best thing to do is just have fun, don't take life too seriously and just have 'fun' relationships. When you meet the right person, you will know it - and you will forget all about your crush
Good Luck!
2006-10-31 02:46:16 · answer #5 · answered by Chazza xx Baby born 7/11/09 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of girls have a crush on a teacher,I dont understand why you are still thinking about him.He's probably married now with kids.
Did he know you had a crush on him? If not he will get the shock of his life if you just turned up to see him.
Im really sorry for you feeling the way you do,but he's probably not given you a second thought all this time,if he was attractive half the girls in your year probably had a crush on him.
2006-10-31 03:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is because in your head he is your 'perfect man'. A bit like a pop or film start but part of you knows a bit more accessible and attainable than Brad Pitt. You have never had to live with this man putting up with his bad moods, his smelly socks, his questionable taste in music etc you have sjust seen the nicely packaged and presentable side of him.
You could try meeting up with him as an adult - maybe the rose coloured specs will fall away and you will see him as a real person rather than this 'dream date'. I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of my ex teachers in social situations because my Aunt taught at my school - they are nothing like you would expect in real life.
Failing that rent 'Teachers' the UK channel 4 series on DVD and picture your teacher like that - that should be enough to put anyone off!
2006-10-31 02:45:31 · answer #7 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say your 24, your an adult, you can aproach him and talk to him openly and ask if he wants to go out some time. Life's short so they say, and you have had feelings for him for a long time. At least if you contact him you will know where you stand and can then take the plunge and see him, or bite the bullet and move on with your life. Good luck!
2006-10-31 02:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by sandie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were 17 when you had this crush on your teacher. Well I suppose you had no one to date before this crush. The teacher is gone may be married. You have to let him go and carry on with your life. If he is available you can go up to him and express yourself. But you will have to take a step or be ruined
2006-10-31 02:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and see him again, co's the image in your head my be rose coloured, and you may cure yourself!
2006-10-31 02:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by Bikerbod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋