my daughter recently started pre school, and doesn't like it when i or her father leave her. Any advice for a mum at her wits end
2006-10-31 02:04:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Preschool
talk to her and make sure there isn't a valid reason for her not liking to be there. Talk to the teachers, and make sure the environment if safe. Take a little time, and sit with her, until she starts making friends, and getting to do something fun.. over the days or weeks.. it would be easier and easier.. she just need to adapt.
2006-10-31 02:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by key key 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take her out, wait for a bit, and try again. Do assure her that her happiness is of utmost importance and that you will not send them somewhere they will be unhappy. Encourage her to give you details.
Mine were left with a very good childminder for a while before they started school, so they became used to staying some fun place other than home, with a fun person other than mum. Pre-school was a doddle after that. If you have only ever looked after your child yourself you must expect difficulties at this stage.
Older pre-schools may have a good reason for not liking school - they are at an age when they are able to make simple judgements about the kind of people looking after them and the arrangements, and maybe they don't like what they see. Don't automatically assume it is the child being difficult.
2006-10-31 06:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by Tertia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have often asked parents to provide a picture of them and their child together so when your child is feeling a bit sad they can look at the picture.
I have had some parents start their child off at an activity before leaving. Often when the child is involved in an activity they don't mind their parents leaving.
I also encourage parents to talk to their child, for example; "Were going to school today to play for a while and while you are here mommy is going to do (or go)..... I will pick you up after nap, story, outside time, etc.... "
This lets your child know that you are coming back and when. Another trick is to place a kiss in their hand or cheek and tell the child that "while mommy and daddy have to do mommy and daddy things here is a kiss that will last all day. If you need another kiss just place your hand on your cheek and you'll get another kiss from me until I get back" Read the story "The Kissing Hand" so your child can see how it helps.
You can also ask your child's teacher to help transition her into the room. Please do not sneak off without saying good-bye this adds to the child's anxiety.
2006-10-31 02:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by CAT 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From my experience the longer the parent stays the longer the child screams and cries. Sign her in, tell her you're leaving and will be back, and hand her over to the teacher.
Do not sneak away, it makes it worse. Sometimes giving her a picture of yourself with her makes a difference.
Most children are fine within a week or two but there are those cases when they cry for the first 3 months and sometimes longer.
2006-11-01 02:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Nita 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just leave, and leave quickly. Then call and ask the teachers how she is doing. A lot of times the crying, screaming, whatever tantrums stop as soon as they get in the classroom. The longer the parent stays the more stressful it is for everyone. If she is still having a hard time after you leave then you need to change something, but for now just see what the teachers tell you and ask for their suggestions. Biggest thing is to just leave. I know it is hard, but it really is the best thing.
2006-10-31 02:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Patience, patience, patience... firmly and lovingly... and decidedly no ifs, ands, or buts, she does exactly as she's told when she's told... and walk away as soon as she's inside the building gates... and decidedly ignore the tears and tantrums... you are blind to them ok?
She's got to learn that every kid has to cope with this same situation... as does every other parent... so don't get worked up when waking, when breakfasting and dressing her... and never when walking, driving her to pre-school... she'll home in on you're distress and make capital on it... so you don't have any... right?
Don't even consider hanging around at the school... and make her feel different to all the other kids, or when those other kids see she how she gets attention, they'll home in on it and she'll get bullied for it... and be none too popular with teachers either, they have a whole class full of precious bundles to deal with too, besides your precious child, each one feeling the same, but bravely overcoming it because their parents don't make a meal of it!
She's the child, you da parents... just keep it that way before she senses your insecurities and homes in on them and makes your life a living hell... right until she's in her twenties and beyond!
mum of six
gran of twelve
great gran of... don't ask;-)
been there, done that... got the tee shirt... wanna buy one?
2006-10-31 02:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
She doesn't HAVE to go to pre-school! Children mature at different ages - maybe she needs to be at home for a bit longer with mum!
2006-10-31 12:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by Home_educator 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Speak to the people that run it. I bet they'll tell you that she stops screaming the minute you're gone.
If that isn't the case then start inviting some of the other kids to your place at the weekend - if she makes friends she'll start getting excited at the thought of seeing them.
2006-10-31 02:12:06 · answer #8 · answered by Hello Dave 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you have to just tough it out..she will eventually get used to it and love it..of course she does not know anyone so she's stressed but if you stay with her a little bit maybe that will help.
Also what helps is before you go to drop her off, talk to her and tell her that she should not cry when you drop her off tell her that she should be brave and make mommy proud that she does not cry.
2006-10-31 02:12:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
she'll get use to it just some times stay up there with her and let her know you love her and you 'll be rite back, but it take awhile she'll start playing with the kids and forget all about you.
2006-10-31 03:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by CHINADOLL901 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋