Atheists & Agnostics - would you lie to a dying child?

Question

This question came to me after viewing an ad for a cancer treatment center. They focused on children, and showed a mother and child, who were both scared that the child would die. This made me wonder - if I had a child who was diagnosed with any life-threatening disease, would I (as an atheist) feel compelled to lie to them about what happens after death? To comfort them, of course. Would I suddenly want to tell them that they'd go to heaven, or perhaps adopt another religion's belief such as reincarnation? Or would I feel that telling them the truth - whatever I believe that to be - would be best?

I suspect I'd lie. I doubt I'd go the christian heaven route, but I might adopt the reincarnation theory.

What do you think you would do?

(I apologize if this question is in any way insensitive or brings up any painful memories or situations).

Thanks to a_Delphic_Oracle and Salient2 for coming up with the most unique (although that word doesn't do them justice) answers! And a nod to Cato for his or her brutal honesty and integrity. And to most everyone else who gave thoughtful, honest answers. I can't choose the best answer, so I will leave it up to a jury of your peers to decide. Thank you!

Answer 1

It depends what the child believes in.
If the child were religious, then I would reassure them using religious statements.
Otherwise, I wouldn't particularly dwell on it.
Focus on the here and now and make them feel as loved as possible.
By the way, I am an Atheist.
I believe in truth and understanding.
I also believe in tolerance and respect.
I also believe in the golden rule and leaving this place better than when I found it.
Simple rules and ideals.

Good question by the way, probably the best I've seen in while.

Answer 2

It depends on the child... I have explained to my own son (age 6) that some people believe there is a good place or a bad place where you go after you die, some people believe you can be born again as a new person to live another life, and I happen to believe that when we die that is just the end and our body goes into the ground and that is part of the circle of life (you know... like in lion king LOL)

I wouldn't tell them anything unless they ask... and then the first question would be, "well, what do YOU think?"

Answer 3

I was thinking about what I would want if I were a child in that situation. If I were a dying child I think I would want people to be truthful with me. But maybe that is because as an atheist I value honesty so highly. I would just tell the child to try to enjoy every day we have on this planet because none of us know what the next one will bring.

Answer 4

if the child knows he is dying, i would tell him or her what they would like to hear.
Afterall it is a child who knows very little an innocent. Why hurt or scare him or her any further than the damage that this little brave mind already knows.
Why not give him both answers, like yes you go to heaven and god will give you the choice to stay with him in paradise so you can look down on your friends and family, or god will give you the choice to come back as another person.
I mean i belive in god but what happens when you die is anyones guess!
So i would just tell him happy things and that one day you will be together again.
I am sorry for your loss and hope that you and his or her family take it well.
All the best!

Answer 5

Hmph.

There is never any excuse for lying.... and no, I wouldn't lie to a dying child. I would tell them the same brutal truth I'd tell any person.

Admittedly, if it was my own daughter then I would try to stop it sounding as harsh as usual.... but if it was anyone else then I would tell them the no-frills truth.

I would tell them that they were going to die, that this was the end of them and that there was no more.... that after this point the suffering that was their life was phasing out.... that their body would rot down and become one with the earth much as the essence of their life... their consciousness and memory would be disintegrated and dissipate to non-definition.
I would even tell them, if I was feeling particularly callous... that they would eventually be forgotten and that nothing they had done in their life would matter any more.... that they were just another insignificant blip on the grand and pointless cycle of existence.

And thats about it.

Lie?

Never. To lie to someone else is to deny one's own truth.... to deny one's own intents... and when you've done that, you've already died inside.

Answer 6

My intergrity would want me to remain truthfull. But I know deep down I'd lie.

If we are right and there is no heaven or hell, or riencarnation, then what harm could it do to comfort them?

It's a rather horrible situation to find yourself in and I sure hope I never end up in it, but I know I'd lie. Children are innocent, when I was little heaven existed and God was taking care of me. It only changed when I got older...I wouldn't want to shatter that belief, for a child who's going to die, that (in my opinion) would be wrong.

Answer 7

That is a tough one. If it were one of my children I would definitely say something to the effect of what a previous poster said about the land where you will be happy forever. Something like that. I wouldn't want them to be afraid and although we have our beliefs none of use REALLY know what happens so it really doesn't matter what we say we'll find out soon enough. It would take a REAL butthead to tell a child.
"Hey son your dying and you'll just be buried and rot in the ground" or some crap like that.

Answer 8

This is a very good, thought provoking question. I would definatly try to comfort my child, but depending on the age, they would already know my beliefs. But I would follow the reincarnation theory. It's a very tough call.

Good question!

Answer 9

You wouldn't have to lie. None of us knows what happens after we die. A parent, regardless of their beliefs could say something like, "I don't know what happens when we die but I do know that you won't hurt anymore and that you'll be free from pain and sickness." That way the parent wouldn't be lying to their child or going against what they believe.

Answer 10

Good question, but since under the Christian mythology only God can guarantee entry into Heaven -- the only alternative being hell -- maybe it is more comforting to suggest nothingness.

I am not trying to be crass, really. Everyone (including me) wants to believe that we live forever. But wanting to believe something doesn't make it true.