Loneliness is killing me.?

Question

I am a 19 year old male I have not had any friends and I work in an office. I find life so difficult I suffer from depression I am a very shy person I have feelings for a girl at work but she has a boyfriend everytime I see her I feel very nervous. I am afriad to go out I go to the gym early in the morning because no one's ever there. I am afraid to go out at night. Afraid to go to the cinema or to my doctor.

I always thought women liked nice men? No one wants to know me no one wants to be my friend people just use me.

Answer 1

i used to be really shy, until i had to move away for the uni course i wanted (no other uni offered the same course) i had no choice.

i moved into a shard house to avoid the nightmare social situation of on campus accommodation. Way too many people getting drunk each night, not my scene.

When i moved in i meet a really nice guy, we instantly clicked and we've been inseparable ever since. (three years) I'm still shy around people i don't know, but i figure thats probably better that been like those loud people that seem to know everyone but aren't that close to anyone.

Answer 2

Have you tried discussing this with someone and what do you mean by saying people use you?

An office situation is an ideal opportunity to meet and chat to people especially if it's a busy one. The worst thing you can do is start to isolate yourself as if you do you'll not get asked to attend any office nights out etc. Try not to say no if asked as you'll only get asked so many times before they stop asking.

As for the girl if she's got a boyfriend she may not be the best person to really ask out on a date. At 19 there's no rush and plenty of girls out there.

Have you tried attending the gym after work when there's more people there, this would also presend an ideal chance to chat to others and make more friendships.

Good luck. It's all about trying to put yourself out there and take the offers given to you.

Answer 3

Sounds like symptoms of low blood sugar, especially the shyness, fears and depression.

Check your symptoms against the symptoms list at www.hufa.org. If low blood sugar is part of your problem, then changing what and when you eat may help.

I found out when I was about 32 that if I did not smile and say hello or good morning first, at work, no one wanted to know me. I later found out if I smiled, said hello or good morning and then made a positive comment - even a really bland one, like "you are looking cheerful today", I got positive feedback back. Yes, these are incredibly hard things to do when one is shy, and not feeling happy, but if you don't take a step forward, you will never journey to where you want to be.

Answer 4

I think you have a very low opinion of yourself and their has been something happened in your life which has made this happen. It is important that you see yourself in a more positive light and accept yourself. Maybe no one has told you enough how lovley you are and hugged you. Their are many reason why. I used to be like you, because i had a bad childhood i was not wanted and i was put down alot and i did not think alot of myself. Now i know how much God loves me and that has made a whole difference to my life, i do not base my opinion of myself on what others think of me but what God thinks of me. YOu know something you are the apple of his eye, he died a horrible death for you, just for you.
Read Joyce meyers book the Confidant woman, If your a man you can still read it, and overcoming depression, these books have helped me alot and try and get some counsellling, something we carry things from our childhood. I really hope you get over this because you are a becautiful person and its so important that you accept yourself, you are precious i hope you believe it, and not untrue negative stuff. All the best God loves you, God does not make Junk, take care Denise.

Answer 5

Thats awful. im a girl an i like nice men. Dont be afraid of showing people who you are. Start going out to the gym a little later. Just 5 mins later everytime and start getting yourself used to being around people again. Dont think about that girl as a problem. Try just talking to her. Explain you know she is taken and that you are just looking for some friends. Don't hide yourself away. im sure your a loverly guy and someone will fall for you if you give them a chance. go to a pub local to you and if it gets too much after one drink go home, then go again the next week. try a monday pubs are usually quieter then. Just ease yourself slowly into going out agian and try and keep your mind off that girl, especially if she's out of bounds

Answer 6

How in the heck can people like you when they don't see you? You go to the gym----only while no one is there, y ou dont go out at night. Come on , think about it. Get your hiney out there and live a little and quit worrying about it. There is someone for everyone. Get to the doctor for a prescription so you can live! Life is way way way too short and it goes by very quickly. Don't be one of those people who say, "I wish I would have". Just do it

Answer 7

Get out of your office job mate. Try working where there is a large group of people and a mix of guys and girls... bars, clubs, cinema. The more you throw yourself into difficult situations the better you become at them... I'm sure everyone at some point in their life has felt just the same as you. Good luck matey!

Answer 8

It sounds like you may really need to try to get over your fears of people. You may try to "break out" of it by visiting quiet public places- places that are not overly crowded, noisy or bustling- library, book store, coffee houses... this may get you comfortable enough to interact with others in a more relaxed atmosphere where you don't feel rushed or pressured. Gradually go to places where it is more fast paced- like the gym or movies.

You are right THE RIGHT women like nice men. Why are you letting people use you. You are a valuable person, that has probably alot to contribute to someone. Be patient, hang in there and keep trying.

Answer 9

I'm ur friend, okay ? No not joking, seriously assuring u, I'm ur friend. Anytime u feel like talking to someone, keep mailing me & share ur thoughts. U know what u don't need any doctor for treatment. The solution of ur problem is only in ur hands. Glad to see that at least u've asked others this question here 'n 've clearly stated ur problem. U'll be surprised if u know that I was also on the same boat as that of urs. Honestly speaking I'm not blessed with good looks & my voice is somewhat harsh. When I was in college for the first time, lots of my classmates used to make laugh 'n throw comments at me. I kept on accepting those cruel comments silently ... 'n I wont like to hide that I've had gone through so many crushes, but none of them got stable. But believe me or not, after a few months when I stood third in our main semester exams (I'm in Engineering), those classmates turned into my friends. Now I'm in third year & fortunately I've a number of friends, among them many are male ones, and really they're good friends but if I tell anyone of them that I've feeling for him, I'm sure he'll reject me immediately.

Anyways, don't feel low about yourself. U shouldn't forget about maintaining ur self-esteem. The girl who has left u is certainly not made for u, u'll get someone better in future who'll really care for u. Don't give up. And one thing, try to discover ur strong-point , like in which field u're really good i.e. ur area of interest. Then explore in that field. Success is what we all want. If u get success, u'll gather more so-called friends. It's cruel but true. Real friends are very-very little in count. Truth is that we all are lonely in some aspects of life... look at the man with all money has so many friends who're invited this night in party but he's always insecured thinking of - if his friends snatch all his properties deceiving him thoroughly !!!

♥♥ Bye ♥♥

Answer 10

being loneliness isnt a good thing trust me i was there. the best thing to do is talk with someone you know many a family memeber or friend. loneliness can also cause you to become depress which can lend to many other illness.

here some thing you can try doing


write in a journal
go for a walk
talk with someone
see a counselor
find new activity