Unattracted to my boyfriend sexually?

Question

Not sexually attracted to my b/f. He is fantastic and i can't imagine life without him however i can't imagine life without sexual attraction.The sexual and romantic/physical attraction go hand in hand and it feels like i can not hang onto the romantic attraction anymore as the sexual attraction was never really there.It has created so many problems and we always try spicing it up,he knows how to satisfy me however i never feel completely satified because it becomes a burden and effort and not natural and spontanious rush of hormones.I love him dearly but it's fading day by day because of this.I don't know what to do and don't want to loose him.Please help.I have not told him of the problem because it will make him feel inferior and worthless and i can not bear to do that.He already feels so insecure and his self asteem is incredably low now because of the problems we having in our sexual relationship..he can feel that something is horribly wron

Thank you to those who put valuable input and advise...those such as Heather, you need to grow up. These are serious issues and your input such as yours is not welcome.

I am very much attracted to his physical however i'm referring the the sexual attraction oneexperiences when kissing and progressing to further levels.your body should usually reacte where as mine does not. He is amazing in the bedroom and goes all out to please however my body does not reacte to him in that way.I'm not keen on a open relationship and he does not want to share what he feels is very special.He says he loves me very much and will give me space if that's what i need and will sort out the problem

It's not that the honeymoon is over..we been together for 6 yrs and broke up 3 months ago however still keeping contact. We both met other people but still make our way back to each other.He is willing to do anything to get me back and i really want to go back but can't imagine not feeling my body wanting his.Although i think he is really attractive physically, the sexual just does not follow as it should

I don't want to say it is brotherly love because it is so much more than that.I look at him and see the man i want to spend the rest of my days with to be my companion for life and father or my children.I'm physically attracted to him but not sexually..my body does not react without a bit of help..ie porn or like somenone else said..a bit of booze to be more on the wild side. Is it possible to live a full and happy life with someone who gives you all you need but the "sexual tension or attraction."I'm really attracted to his mind, body, ways and everything about him.

Yes, i have been sexually attracted to him in the past. I just had such an amazing sexual relationship with someone else since we took time apart that it makes it hard not to compare.Not that he was doing anything different. In fact the guy that i have been seeing actually did not know what he was really doing at first but he managed to get me going.Even with that, i still find myself going back to my b/f and not wanting to let him go.

Answer 1

Go to some sort of therapy or try to discuss it with him. Sometimes you go off sex when you feel like you have to have it and if you 2 haven't for a while then you might be feeling this pressure without realising it. Depression or stress can can put you off sex.

Answer 2

Well, you have the option of either lying to him and just acting as though you're having the time or your life or tell him exactly how you feel and either try and work it out or move on.

I can understand how you feel about the fact he's fantastic and can't imagine life without him etc etc but is this basically something that's now developing more into a friendship than an actual relationship.

It would be selfish to keep him hanging on if he already knows he doesn't satisfy you but is being kept there for your convenience.

I would advise having a heart to heart with him, it could mean your relationship ends but if it was never there to start with then give both of you the opportunity to be happy with someone else. There's nothing stopping you from continuing to be friends if you break up.

Answer 3

This is a tough one to try and answer i'm afraid.It seems from what you have written that you that you're time as a couple may be reaching an end,i'm sorry if that sounds negative and i'd be happy if i'm wrong,but that's what i think.It's great how you are trying to protect his feelings,but i think you have to be honest with him about the sexual side of things,though i know that won't be easy.Maybe therapy might be an option.I realy feel sorry for the predicament you are in and i wish you all the best,but like i said before,it's a tough one.

Answer 4

God this is so hard. i once had a relationship and nearly married a guy that i felt that way about. in the end i just had to be honest, i loved and still do love him dearly but no matter what the physcial thing just wasnt there, it's more of a brotherly sisterly love than a relationship love.
my advice is to be honest with him tell him everything you said here about him being great in bed etc but for you the love is more friends than lovers.
me and my ex are both very very good friends now so i still have him in my life, it did take about a year to get there but we still did and now i have the best of both worlds a fantastic friend and a fantastic boyfriend.
Good luck with everything x

Answer 5

I think you just got passed the honeymoon phase of your relationship and are used to each other and this is when things can get a bit stale you start wondering if you still fancy each other and start focusing on the reasons why, of course things can take more of an effort when youve been together a long time but rather than pondering on your sex life, why dont you do fun stuff together-completely away from sex and try and get to know each other again and enjoy each other!

Answer 6

Hey, it's sad what you're feeling, but quite natural. I think most people lose sexual attraction to their partners over a period of time.

Have you considered that your partner might be feeling the same way? Why not try something new and exciting. I think, like any part of a relationship, your sex life has to change and mature as well.

If this fails, then what about an open relationship? Sex is just sex, and it can be seen as a release.

Answer 7

Oddly enough it seems like something more is wrong with you. Perhaps expectations or previous love experiance. What is he doing wrong or what can he do to make you feel sexually satisfied? A relationship of this sort needs a healthy sexual base. You stated that you love him and want to stay will him so I suspect you made need to go to thearopy as a couple or just you. Otherwise you may lose him.

Answer 8

If there is no "spark" in the relationship then there is no
relationship...He will soon start looking for someone who finds
sex with him exciting...
You either need to find some way to put the spark back into your sex life or you need to start thinking about breaking up and finding someone who puts a twinkle in your eye...
What can you do sexually that you have not done ?
Have you tried all your sexual fantasies ?
Have you tried watching porn together ?
Would you like to try a 3some with him & another girl ?
Oral ? Anal ?....Sex in public places....Bondage....

Answer 9

Were you two friends at first when you guys started going out because most of the time you can like everything about him but still feel ackward when wanting a sexual attraction

Answer 10

Have you considered going to sex therapy together? Seriously.

I mean, did you feel sexually attracted to him in the past? If so, what has changed?

Have you ever felt sexually attracted to anyone? Perhaps you have inhebitions you need to work through.

It is important to treat the problem sensibly and methodically so that feelings of inadequacy don't come in.