Men: put off by mastectomy?

Question

You meet a lovely woman, she's gorgeous, intelligent, funny and sexy. You can see this going somewhere - and on the outside this all looks brilliant but... under her sweater she's hiding a mastectomy and breast reconstruction. Would this put you off? When would you have wanted to be told? Would she wait until sex was on the cards or tell you on the first date (yes, I know that can be the same thing!!!)

I'd be very interested in a mans perspective on this or any female real-life experiences. I'd prefer the honest answers, not necessarily the most 'pc' or senstive ones.

Mx.

Answer 1

honestly it might affect things slightly at first but a womans breasts are not the only thing that inspires lust and love. I have a massive scar on my thigh from an accident, i always tell people about it and generally show it off at any opportunity once that edge of potential shock has been taken off people don't even notice it anymore, I also went out with a girl that had really scarred limb I can honestly say that after a while I really didn't even see it anymore just the whole person.

Answer 2

I'm female and would guess the best time to tell the man is when you feel comfortable and trusting enough to say something. I don't think you can put a timescale on something like this which is delicate and sensitive.

My Mum had breast cancer but didn't need a mastectomy and, although her breasts are now a little lopsided, she's lucky enough not to have required reconstructive surgery.

If the man concerned loves and women he should understand what she's been through and love all of her (including scars or missing bits).

Answer 3

I can understand a mastectomy and breast reconstruction is a very personal thing and something that might be difficult to talk about. Whilst I would encourage you mention it early, any man worth his salt should not be put off by it. I would also advise you not to rush into something - i.e. on the first date if you don't think it is going to go any further as well as having sex with a partner too soon.

Answer 4

My oh MY--I generally deal with things as they come and do not complicate things by anticipation of what may happen. Deal with it when it arrives.

That said, I guest when you undress I will know. The problem is then is it has to be dealt with then and there and may damper a little something that should have been one heck of a sexy time because I am trying to get my head screwed back on from the surprise.

Then again lucky and it enhances the fun because I do not have to make a choice in which one I will favour and giving all my attention to one. But then maybe your leg or neck is more sensitive and that is what I want. You to go wild as it makes me wild.

I wish you the best as I am sure it bothers you more then most guys that are respectable.

Answer 5

I cant answer for how men in general would feel. If a man's wife had a mastecomy then i'm sure he would still love her. If a man dating a woman was put off by lack of a breast, then he's not much of a man...... you dont love a breast do you?

Answer 6

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Personally I would prefer to know as early as possible, but that's just because it would give me time to get my head around it. It would be difficult to deal with, but I wouldn't allow it to affect whether I wanted to have a relationship with that person. Good luck.

Answer 7

I would not be put off by mastectomy.
I would hope the lady would tell me once we got to know each other. That would go to trust - which is the most important thing between two people.

Answer 8

Personally, if you're worried about what you look like that much undernieth your shirt, when you're on the first date, then you're dating the wrong guys.

I have never had any experience with this, but I am very sure that it would not matter to me. Women are women. Not what "modifications' they have done.