how can we prevent our children from peer pressure at school .?

Question

like for instance my friend daughter thinks it cool all of her friend want to be pregnant so now she want to become pregnant to because they told her shes not cool if she doesnt have sex and get pregnant.

most of her friends are pregnant or trying to get pregnant

Answer 1

alot of prayer

Answer 2

Now that actually scares me...what is going on with our children if all they want to do is be pregnant? And when did it become cool to be pregnant and not married? Okay so I guess I am old fashioned...I have been telling my girls since day 1....go school, go to college, have some fun, do some traveling, find a guy, get married THEN have kids...and so far, so good. But I have been lucky with the choices of friends that my girls have. And I think that is a big part of it.

Education, communication, expectation for the future....and the people in your life. It doesn't matter where you come from or the color of your skin or how much money you don't have. I think it's the tone of your life style and what you make important as a parent. I think if any of my girls came home with these ideas I would panic...then find a single mother to help me out. Let the child experience the life of a single parent with a baby. Let her follow along through everything...from all the diapers to jugling work, home and childcare as well as lack of sleep...without a break for a week or so. Up with the baby all night, work all day etc. maybe the reality will convince her that a baby is an 18 year + commitiment that is yours alone and totally NOT COOL. That babies are not toys that can be put away when you want to go out and that there will not always be someone to "take care of" everything for you.... Then I would do something about those "friends" who are really not "friends at all." I wish your friend the best of luck with this problem...it is truly a heartbreaker.

Answer 3

I once spoke with a woman who taught, was married to a teacher and was also a parent. She said that if your children have gotten in with the wrong crowd, it is worth it to move.

Speaking as a parent of a teen myself, I can assure you that the kids who spend four to five evenings a week involved in planned activities (drama club, karate, sports, dance, church, tutoring, anything in the world) are not trying to get pregnant. Your child seems to have too much time on her hands. Your concern is less peer pressure, than peer pressure from the wrong sources. Peer pressure can work the other way too.

You may also try to appeal to basic self interest and show the child the statistics about the earnings potential for kids who get pregnant early in life. Every year you put off having children, the the greater your earnings potential in life. I would expect this last approach not to go over well.

I told my child that if she ever got pregnant she would need to move out. If she is old enough to support a child, then she must be old enough to support herself. This is of course absurd--she is utterly unprepared to support herself-- but I'm deadly serious.

Finally, my daughter and I have a good relationship. I make sure we do things together and have chances to talk and laugh. I told her that the only thing that would disappoint me more than her having sex as a teenager, is having sex without birth control/disease protection. She knows that if she wants birth control/condoms I will get them for her. Also make sure that your daughter knows that when she sleeps with someone she is sleeping with everyone they have ever slept with. This one did seem to have an impact on my child.

But no one thing works--mostly she has to have hope for her life. She does not seem to be hanging out with a hopeful bunch of kids.

Answer 4

I am 14.(Yeah I skipped d school today to help my mom out).And i know what your daughter is going through.She needs to find her own way to be cool.She needs to find her own personal funk.Like others have said,a after school activiy might be able to help her with this.
Here are my thoughts-
I am different than most female freshman at my school.I dress different,I talk different,I try not to gossip,and I don't whore around.Thus,the female freshies are extremely disturbed.
Sad to say,the average slut is always extremely bothered if some one is not like them and their legion of mindless clones(or girls just trying to "fit in") I hang out with people that have WAY different standards than I do,but they don't force their ways on me,because they respect my ...funk....(then again they are juniors..)Your daughter just might need to start hanging out with a few different people(not drop her other friends totally) abit more.People who aren't all heading towards the same goals.
But,anyway,with this in mind,start asking what your child will do when she's pregnant.How she pay for it?How will she deal with the kid and school?How will she deal with gaining alot of weight?How will she deal with the 9 months of sickness?
You need to make sure she knows that you don't support this,and that this decision will be with her for the rest of her life.What will she tell the kid?"I just made you because I wanted to be cool.Not because I was in love.Not because I wanted you."Does she know how heartbroken this child will be?

Answer 5

You can not prevent the peer pressure at school but you can teach your child how to deal with it. The first step is to teach your kids the habit of sharing their stories with you. Then through the discussion you would be able to direct/advise/order ....etc them.

Answer 6

I think you should contact your daughters school because that sounds crazy (but believable)!!! These girls need to get some activities in there life beside sex. I would just talk openly to your daugter a tell her she has her whole life ahead of her to make these very mature descions.

Answer 7

by giving your children the tools to be independent thinkers, have high self esteem, and raising them in a warm and loving environment with open lines of communication (even the hard stuff).

peer pressure is so powerful because our children do not have the values and belief system instilled that allow them to be strong in their thinking and believe in what is right and wrong.

parents - it isn't about you controlling your children, it is about loving them unconditionally. always.

Answer 8

1. Teach your children values from day one. This is an ongoing conversation.
2. Homeschool
3. Continue to discuss values

Answer 9

it's a bit late to start teaching her that now...kids need to start learning about peer pressure in kindergarten. have your daughter spend time babysitting or volunteering with infants and toddlers for several hours at a time...prob in a supervised situation, where she can't just leave when she gets tired of cranky, whiney, sick kids. she'll see what it takes to take care of babies, and then may not want one yet. also, find a teen mom organization in your area, and let her talk with teen moms and hear their stories of how it's not fun it is to lose your friends and freedom when you have babies too young. much luck to you.

Answer 10

Unless you lock your child in a closet and never let them out, peer pressure is unavoidable. You can't control what people say to your child while they're at school.

Answer 11

Take her to a church youth group. Most youth groups nowadays are very non-church looking but provide a great resource for peer values.