of his parents...he wants to change me into someone else when we are around them...he makes me wear certain clothes, and will not even let me carry my cigarettes in my purse when we visit them for fear I will put one out and light it up in front of them...when I go too long without a smoke, I get mean...what should I do..should I dump him...I do like him...but I want to dress how I want, and I want to smoke when I want...he does not smoke so he does not understand...
2006-10-31 00:12:09 · 20 answers · asked by Rhonda h 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
who is he to prohibit you anything at all,
please stop the controlling NOW, do not allow him to control you like this.
end the relationship....
he is a control freak
2006-10-31 00:13:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's time for you to take a walk away from your current boyfriend. Not because he's a zero like someone else here suggested, but because his personal ideals and moralistic upbringing is completely different than yours. I'm not implying that anyone is right or wrong in this issue.....you guys simply have a different point of view on certain issues that involve you, and your customs, practices, and needs. He has his reasons, and he has his right to feel that way.....whether or not we all agree. At the same time, you also have your reasons, and your right to pursue your life the way you want, and enjoy the things you like. The fact that he's trying to change you into something more "presentable" to his parents shows the lack of respect he has for your way of being......that in itself tells you that he will not change his point of view, and will not accept you as you are. Think about it.....if someone does not accept you as you are, what is the point?
Think about how things will be for you in the future if you stay with him......not too happy I'm sure. Do something good for yourself and for him......say Good-bye. If he tries to convince you that you should stay together, just let him know that you two are fundamentally different, and that in the end it will make both of you miserable. Also....I hope that eventually he gets a back-bone of his own, and realizes that he has to make decisions in his life without having his parent's blessing or approval....It's called being a man. 'Nuff Said!
I still don't believe he's a zero......just has a different point of view.
Best of Luck!
2006-10-31 00:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Ralph 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do you see in the long term? I just see him wanting to change you more and more until he's taken over your life completely and you end up not being allowed to think for yourself. Seems he's taking other peoples thoughts into consideration, but not your's. Tell him that what you see is what you get, and if he doesn't like the way you are, why did he fall for you in the first place?Good luck, and make him see you're not about to become what he and his parents want you to become. If he walks away, then it wasn't meant to be
2006-10-31 00:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Take it from an old lady who has been there.The control and manipulation will only get worse.It will eventually come to the point where he will tell you who you can and cannot talk to,won't let you out of the house without accounting for every minute you were gone,will be accused of cheating on him if you are 5 minutes late getting home.It is a life of misery,believe me.Please get out now while you can,before you marry and have kids with this man.No one has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do.
2006-10-31 00:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by stellablue1959 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you found your wrong match. There a certain things in life that is not worth living. However, this guy is just looking for someone his parents approve, and there is nothing wrong for being so honest and tell you what he likes and doesn't like.
Before I met my husband, I made sure he didn't smoke, wear tattoos, do drugs and all those bad habits, I wanted to have children in a clean and pure environment. Perhaps, he pictures you as "future wife", only guys that are serious about dating would care for such little details. Why do you smoke anyway?
He sounds like a perfect candidate for those who want a serious
relationship.
2006-10-31 00:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sabine 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hes affraid his parents wont like you. i think his parents are prudes not him so you need to talk to him and say listen your parents need to know who i am. so break the ice slowly dont go over there all whored up to quik. start revieling your skin slowly until they think your there daughter then you can go naked for all they care. the smoking thing is grey. you will probably never get there approval on that so you might as well just one night after dinner say. im gonna smoke outside do you care to join me.
if they cant except you for who you are your gonna have to dump him because you makeing him dump his family for you is just wrong. maybe you guys can just be friends with benifits.
2006-10-31 00:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dump Him, Quitting is Difficult and In your book its not going to Happen, and the way you dress is Fine, don't let your Boyfriend Intimidate you any further.
2006-10-31 08:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by tfoley5000 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love is great! Dump him and find someone you are more compatible with. If he is keeping major secrets from his parents, What secrets is he going to keep from you? What else is he not going to let you do?
2006-10-31 00:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by bumppo 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I understand the cigarettes. Cuz their not good for you. But not the rest. Please do yourself a favor and dump him. He's just insecure and it won't stop with your clothing and habits. He'll be telling you how to talk, who you can talk to, where you can work, even when you can ask questions on Yahoo.
2006-10-31 00:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by e. nigma 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'd dump him. Unless you're actually willing to change every little thing about yourself that he doesn't like, as long as you both shall live. (Hey, if you don't split up eventually, that's where you'll end up.)
2006-10-31 09:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by Amy F 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GOOD,its time to start acting like a woman who loves her man more than smelly cigarettes ,and have some self respect,if he wanted a floozy, he would get one,he didn't ,he wants a woman he can honor, by marrying her,but not by being ashamed to be around her.
2006-10-31 00:56:38 · answer #11 · answered by a1 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋