1. When a tech says he's coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for us to remember 2700 network passwords.
2. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and Popsicle art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
3. When tech support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're probably just testing out the public groups.
4. When a tech is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts out and expect him to respond immediately. We exist only to serve and are always ready to think about fixing computers.
5. When Pat is at the water cooler or outside having a smoke, ask her a mail question. The only reason why she drinks water or smokes at all is to ferret out all those users who don't have email or a telephone line.
6. Send urgent email ALL IN UPPERCASE. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
7. When you call a tech's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message, and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an email straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.
8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it, right?
9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can even fix telephone problems from here.
10. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a tech's chair with no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. We love a good mystery.
11. When you have a tech on the phone walking you through changing a setting read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to DO anything we just love to hear ourselves talk.
12. When we offer training on an upcoming software upgrade, don't bother. We'll be there to hold your hand after it is done.
13. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently just disappear into the cosmos for no reason.
14. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the office. One of them is bound to work.
15. Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.
16. If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for you and all you co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime when we have to stay until 2:30am fixing them.
17. When you have a tech fixing your computer at a quarter past one, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when slightly dizzy.
18. Don't ever thank us. We love this AND we get paid for it!
19. When a tech asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie. It's nobody's business what you've got on your computer.
20. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 45 lbs. of computer sitting on top of them.
21. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards work much better with half a pound of muffin crumbs, nail clippings, and big sticky drops of Coke under the keys.
22. When you get the message saying "Are you sure?", click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't Be doing it, would you?
23. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". It never bothers us to hear our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
24. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call tech support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a Master's degree in nuclear physics.
25. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know jack **** about the problem.
26. When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a high-priority mail attachment. We've got plenty of disk space and processor capacity on that mail server.
27. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. God forbid somebody else might get a chance to squeeze into the queue.
28. When you bump into a tech in the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We work 24/7, even while at the grocery store on
weekends.
29. If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes your Access database flip out.
30. When you bring us your own no-brand home PC to repair for free at the office, tell us how urgently we need to fix it so your son can get back to playing DOOM. We'll get right on it because we have so much free time at the office. Everybody knows all we do is surf the Internet all day anyway.
2006-10-30 23:11:29 · 10 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I really like this. A lot of effort went into it. People fail to think of fellow human beings, sometimes.
Thanks for the reminder about appreciating what others do.
Have a great evening.
2006-10-31 14:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have some of my own, though their not from IT, it's from Phone Repair....
1) When calling to get your phone line fixed, and you are asked for your area code and phone number, it does no good to give your zip code..... were not going to mail you a new phone line.
2) Please, when you call because your installing a new phone line in your house, and it isn't working yet, it's never worked, call phone repair. I mean, just because it wasn't installed correctly doesn't mean that it can't be repaired, right?
3) Please, when you need the phone number for any place, person or business, call 611 and ask us. I mean, what's the difference between 411 and 611 anyway?
4) When your phone doesn't work, and you remove one phone of two from your home, and that one phone now works.... don't call repair. You see, you removed the faulty phone set and the line worked.... its your phone equipment at fault.
5) If you never been a Phone Technician or an Electrician, please, don't insist that you know what the problem is.
6) If your cell phone doesn't work, please don't pick up your home telephone and dial 611. Doing that will get you to your home telephone carriers repair department..... which is not the same as your Cell phone carrier, regardless of the name.
7) If you call Repair, please try and refrain from being on the toilet, eating, or remaining in a room with screaming children. Our headsets do pick up a lot of background noise..... and we all just laugh at you when we get off the phone.
I'm sure their's more, but my brain died. Enjoy these....
2006-10-31 07:43:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey. Real nice and cool
Loved them
2006-10-30 23:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by cooldude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
was ok but way too long i only read half before i got bored
2006-10-30 23:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by cowboys4lee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW,YOU MUSTVE HAD A TERRIBLE DAY AY THE OFFICE, I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND ALL THAT TECHNICAL MUMBO-JUMBO CRAP,BUT I KNOW IT WAS FUNNY!--I GOTTA HURRY UP AND GET BACK TO "LORD OF THE UNDER-WORLD", SOON'S I FIGURE OUT HOW TO LEAVE THIS FORUM.....THANX 4 THE FUNNYS ---X////////////////////////////////
WOW,YOU MUSTVE HAD A TERRIBLE DAY AT THE OFFICE,
I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND ALL THAT TECHNICAL
MUMBO-JUMBO CRAP,BUT I KNOW IT WAS FUNNY!--I
GOTTA HURRY UP AND GET BACK TO "LORD OF THE
UNDERWORLD",SOON'S I FIGURE OUT HOW TO LEAVE
THIS FORUM.....THANX 4 THE FUNNYS ---X////////////////////////////////
2006-10-31 06:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by nickname4anne 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Long, but pretty funny!
Pretty much real, also.
2006-10-31 14:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-10-31 00:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-10-30 23:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nice.. but just way too long to read.. but i read the whole thing anyway... lol! thanks for the laugh...
2006-10-30 23:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by I need a vacation! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loved It!!! Thanks for the smile!
2006-10-30 23:17:13 · answer #10 · answered by MALicious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋