Contact With her ex is it right or wrong for her to phone him?

Question

I have lived with my girlfriend for 18 months now she has a little girl of six who goes with her father friday till 5.30pm on saturday. Each saturday at around 12 oclock my girl starts to text her ex asking what time she will pick up the little girl and this continues through the day text back and forth. He also gives her money but always meets during the week to give it her instead of sat when she is picked up.
Can anyone shed any light on this for me, I do have my own theory and have spoke to her about it all just want to get unbiased views.
Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

well they have a child, they still need comunication, but not to the extreme as they are.....as for the money maybe they should pay maintainence though a bank account each week (as I and my ex has arranged).....maybe they still have feelings for each other?....i think there's more to it than meets the eye!........hope you can work on it! good luck

Answer 2

Since there is a child it has to be.if it's not then the child suffors remember to her her kid is first.. and i do beleave that texing onc or twice is enough more then that and all shes doing is taking the faters tim away from the child not good at all they need to have all this stuff worked out areed on and let be anything else is just earetating the othere and the child can see if when they talk bad dis eachother and on an on thats a problem im seeing the child need to be with the parent of the day at that time and Not!!!! enterupted things can wait tell they return as far as droping off money well maybe thats his payday and want to give it before he spends it otherwis a day suck as mailing or when pick up is for that but no aruw at that time about it doing allm that i herar in the questiong is not food for child or onyone set a time day date agreeon it ant let that be the rule. anything else is bad for all yono i bet he really hates her texing and taking up his time with his daughter she needs to stop for everybodys good get use to having rule and things i think well go much better Don't think the worst find out first sounds like no respect between anyone think about that .

Answer 3

I would of thought the father would of been a bit fed up. If i only had my kid for 24hrs a week and my ex partner started texing me constantly i'd be like 'hey leave me alone, let me have some time with my kid!'. Just ask your girl friend to tex him once asking what time the little girl is due back then suggest that you 2 make the most of the time you have alone together. Start making little plans for Saturdays that you can both enjoy wether it's a day in the bedroom or going for a picnic, anything to take her mind off what time her girl is arriving home.

Answer 4

Well they have a child together, so of course they talk to each other. The meeting during the week to give money is probably perfectly harmless, then they can sit and discuss their child and what needs to be done/bought/arranged, etc., with regard to that child, as Saturday is probably just a drop-off kind of a thing, and it's very hard to discuss important things when a child is around, and probably better to do when the child is not there.

I mean, they are the parents of this kid, not you.

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with her contacting him over their child. The money shouldn't be an issue either because it is his child too and he needs to help support her. He may get paid on Tuesday and therefore gives her the money in the week, then there is no chance he can spend it. She should try to have the time that the child will be picked up before the father gets her. If something arrives where the time will need to change then get in touch.

Answer 6

It must be very hard for you, but you have to trust her. She is with you, if she wanted to be with her ex she would have left you. My son and his ex-wife get on really well now they are apart, they do not love each other or want to be with each other but they have a little girl of six. They each have an equal share in raising this little girl and always have a lot to discuss and talk about. Have you asked your girlfriend diplomatically why she is texting her ex and explained to her how you feel? She may be worried and missing her little girl, afterall she is still very young. It can be very hard for a mother to be parted from her little girl for this long. Give your girlfriend your love and support, if she sees how worried and left out you feel, I am sure she will explain her reasons and reassure you. As for the money in the week, it could just be an arrangement they made at the time of parting and have just kept to it. I am sure that you have nothing to worry about. When your girlfriend's little girl gets to her teens, expect to find even more contact with her ex, because teenagers can be very hard to handle and remember that it is both your girlfriend and her ex's responsibility to raise their daughter. Have you met her ex. you could find that you get on really well with him and then you would know that you really had nothing to worry about. Hope this helps

Answer 7

If you are happy and secure then you should not be worried about contact between your girlfriend and her ex. I am married to a girl who has a child to another guy, and she has regular contact with him, basically for the sake of the child. Nothing goes on, they are just 2 people who had a child together and now both realise that life goes on and there is nothing to be gained by anyone by parental fighting. I know it is hard, uncomfortable and difficult (I felt the same as you do,sometimes) but believe me - she chose you over him, and if she is worth anything at all - she will stick with you. Why should she go backwards? She is looking to the future, I would bet. With you.

Answer 8

I asked a question about this subject and got shot to peices by just about everybody because it was about getting involved with someone who already has kids.

The point i treid to make is this woman has her ex in her life FOR EVER, he will always be there, always around, always on the phone, etc and it's wether you can deal with it.

Personally i couldn't so would never get involved with someone with kids again but that's just me and you may be much stronger.

It's hard my friend, you have to take a step back and weight things up that things might get better over time or the fact your feeling this already is a sign that you can't.

Answer 9

You cant judge her just because she phones or text's her ex when, she allready has a kid with him there can be so many reasons why she can do such a thing. You need to accept the fact that she will keep in touch with him almost like forever even if its a hi or a bye. that cannot change shes had a kid with him. If he does give her money its his obligation. Just chill out and relax dont think that much its all fine.

Answer 10

I had the same problem when I was dating an older guy who has a son, but I dont think its right that they contact each other unnecessarily, for example, my ex bought his other ex a car on the sly, when i was WITH him without telling me, and he is always giving her money making excuses 'its for my son...' yeah right! and even got her mother to continue doing his personal accounting?! ok, fair enough, be peaceful for the sake of the child, but NOT to go over the top about it being over-friendly and doing stuff on the sly is not right. Have it out with your girlfriend, make sure shes not stringing you along, i was with my ex for nearly 4 years and i didnt know half of what went on in my abscence, etc still way too involved with his ex, not fair on me

Answer 11

I would find it a bit annoying if they were constantly texting but on the other hand at least they get on in front of the child, which is the adult thing to do.I don't think it's necessary to meet separately in the week they should see each other at weekends because of the child and he should give her money then.