My friend has an eight year old son and is very attractive, she stays at the boys fathers house at holiday time and he visits her house and stays some weekend she asked me why i think she has not had a relationship in the 7 years she has been split from the boys father.
Is it because she cant let go of her past ?
the relationships she has had have only lasted a few weeks and when she goes for a man then it always seems she goes for the impossible guy who will not commit is she doing this sub conciously
2006-10-30 22:28:47 · 16 answers · asked by miko 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Before she can truly be committed to a new relationship she has to let go. I have a friend who basically did the same thing, she would be all the right guys but somehow she would self destruct the relationship. There is also some psychological term for this but I forget what it is.( there's a term for everything, huh ) So until she is ready to completely move on then she will not be completely ready for a serious relationship. But I promise one day she will! :)
2006-10-30 22:36:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was a fella trying to build a relationship with this lady then i would feel very put off by the amount of time she spends with her ex. I'd be very pleased that they get on for their son's sake but as for sleeping at each other's houses all the time i'd feel as if they were still too close and didn't have room in her life for another relationship. The way that she seems to go for the guys who won't commit anyway seems to fit in with her life style and what your saying is right, she is doing it sub consciously. Next time her ex has the kids why don't you ask her and a few mates to go out together? It can be bowling or the cinema or out on the town. If she objects just point out that this is what most people do when they have space from their kids for a while. I think that you are a good friend to her and you can gently help her let go of her past.
2006-10-31 06:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reading between the lines I think its her ex who is not letting her go and is still controlling her. Has he been out with anyone else since the split? She also shows an unwillingness to move on and going for the unobtainable is her way of showing her friends thats she moving on, but inwardly she isnt, so she remains protected from either ,moving on from her ex or being hurt again.
She can move on, but this staying over at each others houses weekends and holidays needs to stop. Ex still has contact with their son and this can be done without living in each others pockets by having regular, agreed access visits. Ex can collect son and take him out or have him stay over, but she does not need to go too, neither does Ex have to stay there to spend time with his son.
Before your friend is anywhere near moving on this has to change and her relationship with the father of her son redefined.
2006-10-31 06:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's not ready to let go of the past. Maybe she's hoping to get back with the ex or maybe she's only thinking of her son and doesn't want to mess things up for him.
Do you want a relationship with her? Then you have to be prepared to share her with her past.
2006-10-31 06:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is no help in this situation. Stack like a dog. The only way is give the kids to stay with the father.
2006-10-31 06:35:09 · answer #5 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a fine line between support and interfering and by asking this question on here has got me thinking about this situation.
Just be careful which side of the line you stay on.
2006-10-31 06:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you have got to think is, has she got over being hurt? if so she might be scared it will happen again but this time she has her son to think about. just sit down and talk to her. tell her how you feel and that you adore her son and would never hurt them, she may open up more then and let her guard down. good luck
2006-10-31 06:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by sam g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its because of what you say and she needs a fella to help her move on and see there is more to life than waiting to see the x at holidays . also men find it hard to chat up very attractive girls and proberly think shes already taken .
2006-10-31 06:33:48 · answer #8 · answered by j.j. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably not going to find any guy to commit when she is going to stay at her ex's house and him coming to stay at her house. I can't see any other guy tolerating that sort of arrangement.>
2006-10-31 06:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Urge her to 'try' and get back with her ex, as subconsciously this seems to be what she wants/needs to do for herself and the sake of her Son too.
2006-10-31 08:31:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋