My parents are separated and I'm living with my dad(who's got a stroke some yrs back but still mobile).My bro who's gotten a divorce yrs back has moved back.So I am face with 2 guys at home.Problem is, my dad's a stubborn fella who's always insisted on doing certain things HIS WAY,and he will only smile and talk nicely to neighbours(coz they help him to buy lotteries etc),but not to us,in fact sometimes he curse us when we don't help him buy those ridiculously big amt lotteries.As for my bro, he's another pain-in-the-***, he's got big ego,arrogant for what he has achieved (actually nothing much), and always act bossy at home,if you tried to rebut,he will flared up and start banging doors etc,it's always other's fault, not his.I am really sick of these two guys,and wld move out if I have the means.but meanwhile,how shld I dealt with them?I have tried talking to them but seems they can never change their habits, after a while it came back,and I suffered.P/S:I am an adult, not a youngster
2006-10-30 22:07:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my bro is elder than me,but he's rather spoilt,I've talked to him few times,but things didnt changed much,he still flared up as he wish,totally incontrollable,sometimes he will apologize after that,but what's the point?damage is done.As for dad,it's not so much as to lettg him use all his $ on lotteries,rather,is his kind of attitude,he is the typical coward kind,who always hi-bye and smile to neighbours only bcoz they are the ones who will help him *buy things+lotteries*,even if he's angry with them,he will just smile to them,and curse them behind their back,in front of me, and that make me sick.The house is currently under me+dad's name,I know my bro is eyeing on the hse too,and he hinted to me that next time he married,he hope we(me+dad) can stay all together with him(coz that would save him big $).me (& my dad)aren't interestd coz we know my bro's character.I just dont know when is a gd time to move out(plus my bro eyeing on the hse), I wld like 2 have gd planning,for long term too
2006-10-31 03:27:10 · update #1
Well sounds like you should get yourself a decent job and get your own place..
If you dad is up and moving around..and can care for him self after the stroke. you don't have to be there all the time.. Just check in daily to make sure that he is alright.. as for your brother.. you are not his keeper so let him take care of himself.. Once he finds out that you aren't going to be there to do everything for them and take there abuse he will straighten up and get on with his life too..They seem to be doing alot of feeling sorry for them selves.. and your being there and doing everything is not doing either of them any good..
get on with your life.. check in to make sure that they are fine once a day . get your neighbors or other family members to check on them.. get ahold of social services and see if they can come up with some sugestions for you in dealing with your dad..
and like i said.. go on with your life.. it isn't like these two are bed ridden or anything.. Lottery tickets. are no big deal.. you dad is just being stubborn and very abusive and it will do him good to be left alone for a while to learn how to deal with his own life without taking it out on you.. they really will be fine..Get out of the house and take care of you first and then you will have the strength to deal with them. good luck.
2006-10-30 23:47:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of loved ones is always hard. Even if your Dad can get around some it can be difficult for you.
Look for a support group, try looking at your local Churches or on line. Y ou will be able to talk with people
with the same issues. Also try getting out a couple of times a week to do something just for yourself. Take a class , go to a gym, or even join a singles group. Their is
nothing wrong with you having a life outside of taking care
of your Dad.
2006-10-31 06:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by wHaT eVeR 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it is to deal with family but you should be proud of yourself for taking care of your Dad. You will never look back and regret it when he's gone. Let your Dad have his lottery tickets....sounds like it's one thing that makes him happy. As for your Brother, sounds like he needs to be more helpful to you, Maybe talk to him and tell him that you need him to help out with your Dad...you can no longer do it alone. In the meantime, save your money so that you can get your own place eventually and your Brother should do the same.
2006-10-31 06:48:50 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am in d same situation. my dad is abroad working. i, a girl, am left w/ my mom and 3 crazy brothers. (actually one is fine but d two cause havoc.)
they are always so noisy and quarrel together and hurt my youngest brother. me and my mom have to step in to stop them, and that requires raising voice, raising blood pressure, etc...
what you can do in ur situation is try to bear it as long as u can. be good to them despite their attitudes and show them how to treat others right. they must learn from u as their model. if they still dont change and u lost patience eventually, you must have gradually saved money over time so u can move out and live on ur own. then, just pray that they won't hurt one another.
2006-10-31 08:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by überfrau 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok...so you know what sets them off. Try not to get into those situations. If your dad wants to spend his own money on lotto tickets he's allowed to. Ok it may seem a waste of money but he likes it. He's not spending all his money on them is he??
Family is the hardest thing as they know how to annoy you. Just try to keep yourself calm. Don't let them set you off. Can you go out? Catch up with friends?Keep yourself out of the house?
Is there anything you three can do together that you actually enjoy together?
Try to make it pleasant for yourself as much as you can.
2006-10-31 06:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by red260z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, if it is your house, u can always put your foot down and ask them to behave or leave the house or
if u do care for them then get them talking to you and tell them your problem and how u care for them but cannot tolerate their attitude or
last but least preferable option
walk out on them..
2006-10-31 07:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Vinash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are really that unhappy and it sounds like you are there is only one thing to do....LEAVE....move out you are not a child that has to put up with this situation..find roommates anything but move out...
2006-10-31 07:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by mystic chicklet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run away from this place. I can give you free room for start, but later you have to move on your own.
2006-10-31 06:12:10 · answer #8 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is time to start finding a means to an end. take whatever resources you have it prepare yourself to leave to matter what it takes. it sounds to me as if you feel trapped in something you feel you can't get out of. but believe me when i say you can get out and must get out. good luck.
2006-10-31 06:13:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try find a place to live.
2006-10-31 06:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by chi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋