A man goes in a pub looking real bad-tempered and orders 2 whiskeys, drinks one and pours the other into his shirt pocket. The barman says, "Excuse me mate, why did you just do that?".
"None of your business you twunt, I've been looking for a fight all day now get me 2 whiskeys." Came the reply.
He does the same, drinks 1 and pours the other into his shirt pocket. Again the barman asks "Why did you do that?"
"I told you it's none of your business, I've been looking for a fight all day and if you poke your nose in again I'll take you outside, now get me 2 more whiskeys."
As predicted, he did the same again. The barman couldn't help himself and said again "Look mate your behaviour's somewhat disturbing, why do you keep doing that?"
The man looked up and said "That's it, I warned you not to poke your nose in my business, get round the bar, get outside and I'm going to give you a proper hiding"
With that a mouse popped out of his shirt pocket and said "Yeah, and bring yer f*cking cat
2006-10-30 20:56:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Markhatter
You're a twunt because I never claimed credit for the joke. My question was "Why did I laugh at it?" Pr!ck.
2006-10-30 21:28:09 · update #1
I love it. Its actually quite a lame-ish joke but you can't help laughing at it
2006-11-02 08:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by shnorkings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya man . . . . UR mad . . . . Y did u laugh for this....
READ this . . . . .
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
2006-10-30 21:02:37 · answer #2 · answered by sndn_21 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats funny... but kept me thinking about pouring the drink into pocket for the first 2 haha
2006-10-30 21:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You laughed because you can appreciate the absurd and the unexpected - who could have guessed that there would be a mouse in his pocket and that it would be so drunk it would take on a cat?
2006-10-30 21:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by Chrissie B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That really is stupid but funny in a weird I've been awake since 3:00pm and its now 4:59 am way.
2006-10-30 20:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL. Well, I liked it. It is a Good Joke, (LOL) and has an actual Punchline.
Have a great evening!
2006-10-31 14:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It must be infectious, I laughed too.
"Bring yer f*cking cat"
That is funny.
2006-10-30 21:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a good one! Its funny but I dont know why either! lol
2006-10-30 21:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by zorroorojo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you laugh at yesterdays joke - it was the same 1 !!!!!
2006-10-30 20:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by Dragon Empress 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
good question i wondered why i laughed at it earlier cos i thought it was a bit daft
2006-10-31 05:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋