my son has been living abroad for the past two years in india since he was 6 months with his grandparents while i pursued my high flying career in finance in london. now i am debating weather to take him to uk now or when hes five ready for school? if i leave him he miss's out on nursery - is that a big deal?
2006-10-30 20:14:00 · 9 answers · asked by SUE H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i dont think u should have had a child if u wanted a high fly carer he will never no who u are start spending some time with your son
2006-10-30 20:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your child enters nursery school in england he will be more socially adapted and language adapted to england when it comes time for school... Yes nursery school is a big deal it's the foundation for school..
There is however more to take into account, if your bring your child to england with you willyou have the time to spend with him that he deserves or will he be placed second to your carreer? If he will still be taking second place to your carreer leave him where he is, at least with you several thousand miles away he can rationalize why he doesn't see you often and not feel as bad, if however he is living with you and still not seeing you it will be a devestating blow to his self esteem and happiness...
Decide if you are ready and willing to be the hands on parent he needs before you decide whether or not it's a good idea to bring him to live with you... Better to leave him in India if you won't have the time or inclination to parent him as he deserves...
2006-10-31 04:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your planning on taking him back are you sure his grandparents are going to let you? Their the ones that have been raising him and it may not be as easy as you expect to get him back. They may not be willing. But if you are going to take him now would be the best time because he needs to get to know you and who you are. Waiting till his five so he could start school would be hard on him because his not going to understand why you got him just to send him to school everyday. What time are you going to be able to send with him since his now use to having someone there all the time. You need to do what's best for him and first make sure there won't be trouble with his grandparents giving him up. His use to them now and knows they love him and taking him away like that may be bad for him. You need to maybe live with them for a bit or at least close by so he can learn who you really are to him and allow him to form a relationship with you first.
2006-10-31 04:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what, it's going to be a difficult transition for him, and if you're very busy and he's very happy maybe you should leave him with his grandparents permanently. Kids need stability, and it doesn't sound like you're in a position to provide it. If you are determined to take the child back, I would do it gradually so he gets to know you - short visits so each time he can add to his room to make himself more comfortable and learn to trust you. If he's going to live with you he needs to be your number one priority, not your "high flying" career. Are you ready to give that up?
2006-10-31 04:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by TeacherLady 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want to be a high fly career mom.. Leave your son with grandma and grandpa and send them money! Why did you open your legs if you didn't want to take care of a child!
Or give him up for adoption!
2006-10-31 04:21:07 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So, let me get this straight, you left your kid for 18 months, more than half his life, and you're worried about him missing preschool?
I think missing out his parent is a bigger deal and you should seriously consider removing home from the only home and caregivers he's ever known...at such a young age...how could you have done such a thing?
2006-10-31 05:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to be a high fly career mom. Leave your son with grandma and grandpa and send them money.
2006-10-31 05:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Viren 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your son is not a possesion!!
If you wanted your career you should have never had a child you could'nt financially and emotionally look after.
You can't just re-enter his life at 5 and expect him to have open arms waiting for you!
Choose a future for both of you
2006-10-31 05:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by gym junkie mummy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The answer to your question is another question. Do you want to be a mother to your child, or a big-time financier?
2006-10-31 04:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by shuey_63 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋